diff --git a/fortune-mod/CMakeLists.txt b/fortune-mod/CMakeLists.txt index 83ff776..1c31235 100644 --- a/fortune-mod/CMakeLists.txt +++ b/fortune-mod/CMakeLists.txt @@ -333,6 +333,7 @@ SET (COOKIES riddles rules-of-acquisition science + shlomif-fav songs-poems sports startrek diff --git a/fortune-mod/datfiles/shlomif-fav b/fortune-mod/datfiles/shlomif-fav new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8b89660 --- /dev/null +++ b/fortune-mod/datfiles/shlomif-fav @@ -0,0 +1,3592 @@ +What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it. + + -- Leonard Peikoff +% +I/O, I/O, +It's off to disk I go, +a bit or byte to read or write, +I/O, I/O, I/O, I/O + + -- Dave Peacock + -- His signature +% +Will: "Roses are red, +Violets are Blue. +Jazz and I are black, +But, Carlton, what are you?" + +Excerpt from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" + + -- Andy Borowitz (Creator) + -- "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" ( ) +% +And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they are +not married to women. + + -- Colin Mochrie + -- "Who's Line is it, Anyway?" ( ) +% +Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these. + + -- Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD) +% +I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. +I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare! +I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not. +I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school. +Who am I? Just guess. Guys wanna touch my chest. +I'm rockin', I smile and many think I'm vile. +I'm flying, I jump you can look but don't you hump. Whoo! +I major, I roar. I swear I'm not a whore. +We cheer and we lead - we act like we're on speed. +You hate us cause we're beautiful but we don't like you either. +We're cheerleaders. We are cheerleaders! + +Excerpt from "Bring it On" + + -- Bring it On (The Original) ( ) +% +An algebra teacher is discussing a problem with a student. The teacher says: +"Now, suppose x is the speed at which the train is travelling…". And the +student says "But teacher, what if x is not the speed at which the train is +travelling?" + + -- Unknown + -- Re: "A Parody on Aristotle's Organum" ( ) +% +Keep all the grades of the students who passed the test as is, and convert the +grades of all the students who failed to 54%. + + -- Shlomi Fish + -- Based on a Technion Legend +% +“God is Dead” + +— Nietzsche + +“Nietzsche is Dead” + +— God + +( writing on a toilet's wall ) + + -- Anonymous toilet's wall writers + -- Writing on a toilet's wall. +% +A serious and good philosophical work could be written that would consist +entirely of jokes. + +-- Ludwig Wittgenstein + + -- Ludwig Wittgenstein +% +The difference between a bad student and a good student is that a bad student +forgets all the material five minutes before the exam, while a good student +five minutes after it. + + -- One of Shlomi Fish's Lecturers + -- Technion Class +% +[Isaac Newton falls off the tree] + +Cho-Cho: Did the fall hurt you? + +Newton: It wasn't the fall; it was the sudden stop at the end. + + -- Tom Ruegger + -- Histeria! ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histeria! ) +% +Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. + + -- Donald Knuth + -- Memo to Peter van Emde Boas ( ) +% +<<< + +<<< + +It's not because they have suddenly converted to Stallmanism. + +>>> + +Anyone else misread that as "Stalinism"? + +>>> + +The word "Stalinism" is deprecated, the correct term is "GNU/Communism". + +-- Spotted on Slashdot + + -- k98sven + -- Slashdot Comment: “Re: Misread” ( ) +% +Personally, I'd have a far better time writing scripts if I had some more +creative shells to script in… + +ASMsh: The Assembly shell. Commands include MOV, SHL, SHR, JNE, etc. + +shellTM: Turing machine shell. Only four commands. Read, write, move left, +move right. Capable of producing any programming language imaginable, given +enough time and nerves of steel. + +GeneSH: Four commands. G, A, T, C. Need I say more? + +Qsh: Only uses one environment variable, which contains all possible values +simultaneously. Method of scripting: isolate the universe in which the desired +result is already accomplished, and intersect with it. + +Of course, I never said they'd be easy to use. But then, if these shells +existed, and I knew a sysadmin who used any of them, you can believe Sysadmin +Day would be a far more celebrated holiday. + +The Night Watchman on a Slashdot Comment + + -- The Night Watchman + -- Slashdot comment. +% +We're on a mission from God. + +-- The Blues Brothers + + -- Dan Aykroyd and John Landis + -- "The Blues Brothers" ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Blues_brothers ) +% +It may look like I'm just sitting here doing nothing, but I'm really actively +waiting for all my problems to go away. + + -- Unknown + -- Unknown +% +I'm going to do a routine now, the ones of you that have heard it before may +enjoy hearing it again. The ones of you that have not heard it before - may +enjoy hearing it again next time. + + -- Victor Borge + -- Phonetic Punctuation ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF4qii8S3gw ) +% +I guess I really am an optimist. A paranoid optimist, true, but an optimist +nonetheless. + +Larry Wall, "The 3rd State of the Onion" + + -- Larry Wall + -- 3rd State of the Onion ( ) +% +In fact, I think Linus's [= Linus Torvalds'] cleverest and most consequential +hack was not the construction of the Linux kernel itself, but rather his +invention of the Linux development model. When I expressed this opinion in his +presence once, he smiled and quietly repeated something he has often said: +"I'm basically a very lazy person who likes to get credit for things other +people actually do." Lazy like a fox. Or, as Robert Heinlein famously wrote of +one of his characters, too lazy to fail. + +Eric Raymond, the "Cathedral and the Bazaar" + + -- Eric Raymond + -- The Cathedral and the Bazaar ( ) +% +Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty +is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. + +Misattributed to Benjamin Franklin + + -- Not clear + -- Quotes about Democracy ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Democracy ) +% +Shlomi Fish: And to think that home desktops can simulate these systems [= +PDP-10's and PDP-11's] much faster than those ancient mainframes. + +William Lee Irwin III: Shlomi, and to think the net usefulness of the home +desktops is less than what users got out of those mainframes. + +#offtopic on the oftc.net IRC network. + + -- William Lee Irwin III +% +I feel much better, now that I've given up hope. + +Ashleigh Brilliant + + -- Ashleigh Brilliant + -- "I Feel Much Better, Now That I've Given Up Hope ( ) +% +I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent. + +Ashleigh Brilliant + + -- Ashleigh Brilliant + -- I May Not Be Totally Perfect, but Parts of Me Are Excellent ( ) +% +The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the +question of whether a submarine can swim. + +Edsger W. Dijkstra + + -- Edsger W. Dijkstra + -- EWD898 - The threats to computing science ( ) +% +Sometimes I think the surest sign, that intelligent life exists else where in +our universe is, is that none of it has tried to contact us. + +Calvin + + -- Bill Watterson + -- Calvin & Hobbes quotes ( ) +% +The more I think about it, the more I think I should think about it some more. + +Clarissa in "Clarissa Explains it All" + + -- Clarissa Explains it All ( ) +% +Rusty Russell's signature: + +Anyone who quotes me in their sig is an idiot. +-- Rusty Russell + + -- Rusty Russell + -- Rusty Russell's Signature ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rusty_Russell ) +% +The First Law of Thermodynamics: A system with a constant energy, volume and +pressure behaves in any way it wants. + + -- Unknown +% +I wrote them (and looking at the original ones, I'm a bit ashamed: the +"toupper()" and "tolower()" macros are so horribly ugly that I wouldn't admit +to writing them if it wasn't because somebody else claimed to have done so.) + +Linus Torvalds on the Linux Kernel Mailing List in response to SCO's Linux +Kernel ownership claims. + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Post to the Linux Kernel Mailing List ( ) +% +Baby making is owned by SCO. Linus's mother never paid royalties. + +Also, having a name is a SCO trade secret. By giving Linus a name, they again +ask for being fined. + +Best regards, + +Iztok + +(p.s.: Iztok is owned by SCO, and phrase "Best Regards" as well. LWN is owned +by SCO.) + +An LWN comment in regards to the SCO ownership claims of Linux Kernel code. + + -- Iztok + -- Linus is "owned by SCO" ( http://lwn.net/Articles/64272/ ) +% +The source of my intention +really isn't crime prevention +My intention is prevention of the lie. + +Scatman John +"Scatman's World" + + -- Scatman John + -- Scatman's World ( ) +% +To follow the path: +look to the master, +follow the master, +walk with the master, +see through the master, +become the master. + +Eric S. Raymond in "How To Become a Hacker" + + -- Eric Raymond + -- How to Become a Hacker ( ) +% + Can GIMP save to svg? + strestout1: SVG is a vector graphics format. + strestout1: GIMP manipulates bitmaps. + Yes rindolf, I know. + I just thought it would be nice to have one app for + everything instead of having to use inkscape for svg and + gimp for everything else. + It could do 3d too. + And Audio processing… + And Audio mixing… + And word processing… + And it gotta have a kitchen sink! + So, the real question might be: is there an image editing + mode for Emacs? ;) + + -- "GIMP Should Manipulate SVGs" + -- #gimp, GimpNet +% +My God, My God, +May it never, never end. +The sand and the sea, +the jitter of the water, +the shine of the sky, +the prayer of Man. + +"A Walk to Caesarea" / Hanah Senesh +( Translated from Hebrew by Shlomi Fish ) + + -- Hanah Senesh + -- Walk to Caesarea +% +'You must know that I am not without artifice where magic is concerned,' said +Weasel. 'Only last year did I - assisted by my friend there - part the +notoriously powerful Archmage of Ymitury from his staff, his belt of moon +jewels, and his life, in that approximate order.' + + -- Terry Pratchett + -- The Colour of Magic ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Colour_of_Magic ) +% +If we want to have any kind of confidence that the hash is really unbreakable, +we should make it not just longer than 160 bits, we should make sure that it's +two or more hashes, and that they are based on totally different principles. + +And we should all digitally sign every single object too, and we should use +4096-bit PGP keys and unguessable passphrases that are at least 20 words in +length. And we should then build a bunker 5 miles underground, encased in +lead, so that somebody cannot flip a few bits with a ray-gun, and make us +believe that the sha1's match when they don't. Oh, and we need to all wear +aluminum propeller beanies to make sure that they don't use that ray-gun to +make us do the modification _ourselves_. + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Message to the git mailing list ( http://lwn.net/Articles/132513/ ) +% +The dictionary definition of capitalism is: An economic system characterized +by private ownership of capital goods and by investments that are determined +by private decision rather than by state control. Prices, production and +distribution of goods are determined by a free market. + +… + +But most writers and commentators put dishonest altruistic-platonistic +connotations on the meaning of capitalism: A system of exploitation of the +weak by the strong -- devoid of love and good will. A system in which unwanted +goods and services are pushed onto consumers through clever, deceptive +advertising for the sole purpose of profits and greed. Capitalism dominates +most Western governments. Capitalism, big business, and fascism are +synonymous. + +Neo-Tech IV / The Neo-Tech Discovery. + + -- Frank R. Wallace + -- Neo Tech IV ( http://xrl.us/bmszm ) +% +Which mindset is right? Mine, of course. People who disagree with me are by +definition crazy. (Until I change my mind, when they can suddenly become +upstanding citizens. I'm flexible, and not black-and-white.) + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Linus compares Linux and BSDs ( http://www.linux.com/articles/45571 ) +% +One bug, two bugs, tar bugs, su bugs, +grep bugs, mew bugs, old bugs, new bugs. +This bug has a little hack, +This bug has a broken stack. +Say! What a lot of bugs to track. +Yes, some are in tar, and some in su. +Some are old. And some are new. +Some in sed, and some in jed. +And some are even in parted. +Why are they in parted, jed and sed? +I do not know. Bugs should be dead! +Some in jpeg, and some in TIFF +This TIFF one has an attached diff. +From there to here, from here to there +Test release bugs are everywhere. + + -- Red Hat Inc. Fedora Workers + -- Fedora Core 2 Test 2 available for x86 and x86-64 ( ) +% +"I took the sweet life +but I never knew +I'd be bitter from the sweet" + + -- Charlene + -- I've Never Been to Me ( ) +% +Yet, acting on fully integrated honesty (Neo-Tech), not reason itself, is the +basic moral act. When Genghis Khan, for example, chose to use reasoning for a +specific military move, then in an out-of-context sense, he chose to act +morally by protecting himself and his troops (thus filling human biological +needs). But in the larger sense of fully integrated honesty, Khan's total +actions were grossly immoral in choosing to use aggressive force in becoming a +mass murderer (thus negating human biological needs). The highly destructive, +irrational immorality of Genghis Khan's overall dictatorial military actions +far outweighed any narrow, out-of-context "moral" actions. …Genghis Khan was +enormously evil as were Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Castro, Pol Pot. + +[Neo-Tech Orientation and Definitions](http://www.neo-tech.com/orientation/) + + -- Frank R. Wallace + -- Neo Tech Orientation and Definitions ( ) +% +Why are there so many unmaintainable applications written in PHP and Perl? +Because PHP and Perl let undisciplined, inexperienced programmers write useful +code. So does Ruby -- but give it the popularity and longevity of PHP and Perl +(at least in English-speaking circles) and I bet you'll see plenty of bad code +written in Ruby too. + +This seems like a variant of the Hackers and Painters fallacy. (Paul Graham is +rich. Paul Graham writes Lisp. Therefore everyone who writes Lisp will get +rich.) "All of the good, smart programmers I know are using Ruby. They write +good code. Therefore you can't write bad code in Ruby!" + +It feels like there's another fallacy in there somewhere. I want to call it +the Pre-Post-Java Blindspot, where Java was the beginning of Serious +Programming Languages and only its successor will unseat it. (Like any good +fallacy, you have to ignore history, such as the fact that Ruby's between 10 +and 12 years old.) + +(I mean, if you really just can't read regular expressions, why not admit it? +You could start a twelve-step program or something.) + + -- chromatic + -- Blog Post for 17-Novemeber-2005 ( ) +% +I have upgraded the plot device's hard-drive, soft-drive and squishy drive,and +it is now being the world's most powerful super-computer! + +The Angry Scientist in "Sheep in the Big City" + + -- Mo Willems + -- Sheep in the Big City ( ) +% +Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good +with ketchup. + +Source unknown. + + -- Unknown Author + -- Internet Meme +% +Much of the relative simplicity of Java is - like for most new languages - +partly an illusion and partly a function of its incompleteness. As time +passes, Java will grow significantly in size and complexity. It will double or +triple in size and grow implementation-dependent extensions or libraries. That +is the way every commercially successful language has developed. Just look at +any language you consider successful on a large scale. I know of no +exceptions, and there are good reasons for this phenomenon. [I wrote this +before 2000; now see a preview of Java 1.5 - +[ +] + + -- Bjarne Stroustrup + -- F.A.Q. Entry about Java ( ) +% +"I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy." + +An Oscar Wilde quote, that quotes Oscar Wilde on his views on Redundancy in a +quote. + + -- Uncyclopedia + -- Uncyclopedia entry about Redundancy ( ) +% +In yesterday's post (Bitten by the Enterprise Bug), we learned how vital +enterprise application are for proactive organizations leveraging collective +synergy to think outside the box and formulate their key objectives into a +win-win game plan with a quality-driven approach that focuses on empowering +key players to drive-up their core competencies and increase expectations with +an all-around initiative to drive up the bottom-line. + +[ + + -- The Daily WTF + -- The Daily WTF - Enterprise SQL ( ) +% +He says "One and one and one is three". +Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see. + +Excerpt from "Come Together" by the Beatles. + + -- The Beatles + -- Come Together ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Come_Together ) +% +Isolde: Any museum has a certain Americana factor. But the Smithsonian… This +is the one place you can find the very essence of America, distilled. + +Millie: Ooh.. do they let you drink it, and then take on mutant American +superpowers, and then go around unilaterally dispensing frontier-style justice +in the name of "Freedom"? + +Isolde: No, not usually. + +Millie: Museums would be a lot more fun if they'd actually *read* what I put +in their suggestion boxes. + + -- D.C. Simpson + -- Ozy and Millie - "The Essence of America" ( ) +% +Version 7? [of Vim] + +GNU Emacs is at version 21.4. Can we really trust such an immature editor? + +"yet another coward" in a Slashdot comment for the announcement of the release +of Vim version 7. [Slashdot +comment](http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=185216&cid=15286781) + + -- yet another coward + -- Comment on the release of Vim version 7 ( ) +% + Computer: Remove characters 'nenolod' and 'sxpert'. + *beeepbeepbeebeeep* + Computer: Resume program. + "Program cannot run without characters 'nenolod' and + 'sxpert'. restoring instances. + Computer: Command override, command code Lt. Cmdr. Milosz + Derezynski omega-3-3-9-alpha zero. Remove instances 'nenolod' + and 'sxpert'. + "Unable to comply." + "Computer: Is it possible to at least, _alter_ the + subprograms nenolod and sxpert?" + "Specify parameters." + hmm i take that as a "yes" + lol + "Computer: Please remove 'nonsense' component from 'sxpert' + character." + "Affirmative." + "unable to comply. " + bah + yeah + grr + you're truly un-nonsensifiable + hahaha + "the intellectual subroutines are not alterable" + "Computer: Is it possible to alter the _look_ of the + character 'sxpert'?" + "Affirmative." + "Computer: Please dress character 'sxpert' in a clown's + costume." + "Specify parameters." + "Mid-20th-century Earth, Balkan area." + "Processing. Character alteration complete." + sxpert: bah + yeah i knew you would delete the whole databank first + lol + "Computer, can we …. finally… simply remover the characters + 'sxpert'?" + "computer, here's arlequin costume. apply to character + deadchip" + "character parameters changed" + "woop" + :D + o_O + + -- Star Trek-Like Plot + -- #bmp, Freenode +% +I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code. + +— Unknown + + -- Unknown Author + -- Unknown +% +Pumbaa: Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there? + +Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know. + +Pumbaa: Oh. What are they? + +Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh… got stuck up on that big +bluish-black thing. + +Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were gigantic balls of gas burning +billions of miles away. + +Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas. + + -- Walt Disney Corp + -- "The Lion King" ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110357/ ) +% +>That's the nice thing about UNIX, it gives you so many >ways to shoot +yourself in the foot. :) + +At least it does allow you to shoot yourself in the foot. + +It doesn't say "shooting feet isn't supported" + +Or you can shoot yourself in the foot by writing a management console plugin +that will pass the data to Word using VBA and then call Excel via com to split +it into columns and then write an activeX control to get the columns back as + + -- Martin + -- Comment in the JoS Forum ( ) +% +"(God) is my favourite fictional character." - Homer Simpson + + -- Matt Groening + -- The Simpsons ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Simpsons ) +% +You should learn several new words everyday--eventually you will forget how to +speak so others can understand you. + +Yaakov on Freenode's #perl + + -- Yaakov + -- Freenode's #perl Conversation. +% +For thousands of years, we have been plagued by mathematicians insisting that +two plus two equals four. Who elected them? I, Stevie-O, am promoting an +entirely new system, where two plus two equals FIVE. Eventually, it will be +extended to provide other stuff these power-hungry madmen kept hidden away for +themselves, such as division by zero, cold fusion, the ability to solve the +halting problem, and the secret to attracting hot chicks. + +Stevie-O on the Acme::NewMath POD document. +[Acme-NewMath](http://search.cpan.org/dist/Acme-NewMath/) + + -- Stevie-O + -- Acme::NewMath POD document ( http://search.cpan.org/dist/Acme-NewMath/ ) +% +> Should Perl do the same? [= Drop SCO Support] + +Absolutely not. Perl supports defunct operating systems, buggy operating +systems, commercial operating systems, and poorly marketed operating systems. +It would be inappropriate to drop SCO just because it happens to be all of the +above. + + -- Kurt Starsinic + -- advocacy@perl.org Email ( ) +% + Lynx_: you do seem to do a lot of climbing + Lynx_: you'll have the last laugh when the apocalypse comes + you'll be physically fit + climbing over the mountains of sulfurous ash + bounding over rivers of lava + sounds great + but what will i eat? + those who didn't bother to practice climbing + eww + those will be all fatty + but maybe sulfurous ash is not so bad with some salt + perhaps + + -- Climbing for the Apocalypse + -- #perlcafe, Freenode +% +In Soviet Russia, every time you kill a kitten, god masturbates + +GyroTech on [a Slashdot +comment](http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=195378&cid=16009070) + + -- GyroTech + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% + dooky: A coworker used to like to say things like "I wrote + this much code" while holding his hands a couple feet apart + hahaha + Once I asked him "At what font size?" + +30 + hahah + He never said it any more + + -- "I Wrote This Much Code" + -- #perlcafe, Freenode +% +Recently, Richard Stallman gave a speech in which he illustrated an academic +point about programming history by quoting a guy who described vi as 'an +editor spread at sword-point and which is really hard to use'. + +I think I speak for all moderate vi(m) users when I say -- DEATH and DAMNATION +(in that order) to this Cardinal of the CTRL key! Needless to say my own local +vim user group has dispatched assassins to kill Mr. Stallman, but this is +hardly the end of the story. The fact is that a man has referred to another +man who in turn expressed some often-voiced reservations about OUR EDITOR! On +behalf of all editors of text everywhere, I implore EMACS users to return to +the true path, lest you be burned at the stake and then go to hell, the Buffer +From Which There Is No Unloading. We'll see how productive you are then, with +your ctrl-meta-alt and your ELISP and your 'ring buffer', whatever THAT is. + +Peace and love to all. +^C +^X +quit +q +QUIT +exit :exit +zz +ZZ + +kahei on +[Slashdot](http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=196931&cid=16136657) + + -- kahei + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +The thing is, I don't actually enjoy debugging my own machines. I _much_ +prefer having other people debug _their_ machines, and fixing my machine in +the process. So I didn't want just something that worked on the Mac Mini, I +wanted something that works _universally_, so that hopefully people who are +even crazier than me will waste _their_ time trying to get these machines +working. + +Linus Torvalds in [an Email message](http://lwn.net/Articles/188123/) + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Email Message ( http://lwn.net/Articles/188123/ ) +% +Re:Silly Iranians… ALWAYS! + +First, they came for the newspapers, and I did nothing because the Farsi Side +comic was just re-prints now. + +Next, they came for the books, and I looked the other way because the Death to +America Book of the Month Club was only recommending books to burn anyway. + +Then, they came for the Satellite Dishes, and I said nothing because I still +had a year left on my Infidelphia Cable contract. + +Finally, they came for my Internet Service, and no one was left to hear my +ululation! + +patrixmyth on +[Slashdot](http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=201413&cid=16490111) + + -- patrixmyth + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +I don't guarantee that I always change my mind, but I _can_ guarantee that if +most of the people I trust tell me I'm a dick-head, I'll at least give it a +passing thought. + +[ Chorus: "You're a dick-head, Linus" ] + +Linus Torvalds in [an E-mail message](http://lwn.net/Articles/201440/). + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Email Message ( http://lwn.net/Articles/201440/ ) +% +Review of the Oxford English Dictionary on Amazon.com: + +[One Star] + +"an epic work that has trouble holding the interest" + +By: a customer + +I'm at the ABs, and I still can't get a grip on the plot. Characters enter, +are introduced in exhausting detail -- and then disappear again! Very +frustrating. The only time an old character shows up again is in another's +history! A lot like _A Dance to the Music of Time_, I suppose. + +Perhaps things will become clearer when we meet Oxford, English or Dictionary +-- clearly three key figures. Some kind of menage a trois? + + -- Amazon.com: Oxford English Dictionary ( ) +% +Although the contents of her book, The Virtue of Selfishness, are precisely +accurate and widely integrated, Ayn Rand committed an error by distorting the +word "selfishness" in fashioning a dramatic statement. The word "selfishness" +does have valuable, precise denotations of "an irrational, harmful disregard +for others". Rand could have strengthened her work by selecting accurate +wording such as rational self-growth. Instead, she unnecessarily bent and +undermined the precise, valuable meaning of selfishness. …As with +selflessness, selfishness is a form of immature, destructive, irrational +behavior -- a form of stupid behavior. + +[Neo-Tech Advantage No. 14 - "Self-Growth vs. Selfless +View"](http://www.neo-tech.com/neotech/advantages/advantage14.html) + + -- Frank R. Wallace + -- Neo-Tech Advantage No. 14 - "Self-Growth vs. Selfless View" ( ) +% +I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in +mind. + +Alan Kay (Attributed) + + -- Alan Kay +% +Extra Peculiar + +Did you watch Uri Geller's show last night? He said that if anything +extraordinary happened at home during the show, people should phone in, or +report it at his website. During the entire show I was installing Hebrew +Windows XP for my mother-in-law, and something extraordinary did happen. The +operating system got installed, came up, ran without a glitch. Should I report +this to Uri? + +khatul's comment: + +Without a glitch, huh? Apparently you (and Uri) managed to install Linux from +a Windows XP installation CD. This is much more than telekinesis. It smells +like pure alien intervention. Report immediately! + + -- wildernesscat + -- wildernesscat : Extra Peculiar (Blog Entry) ( ) +% +It's one of those rare "perfect" kernels. So if it doesn't happen to compile +with your config (or it does compile, but then does unspeakable acts of +perversion with your pet dachshund), you can rest easy knowing that it's all +your own d*mn fault, and you should just fix your evil ways. + +You could send me and the kernel mailing list a note about it anyway, of +course. (And perhaps pictures, if your dachshund is involved. Not that we'd be +interested, of course. No. Just so that we'd know to avoid it next time). + +Linus Torvalds announcing the 2.6.19 Linux kernel. +[Email message](http://lwn.net/Articles/211904/) + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Email Message ( http://lwn.net/Articles/211904/ ) +% + merlyn: is it true that array iteration is better performance + wise than hash iteration? + * avar would guess that array iter is faster than hash iter + what is "hash iter"? + with "each()"? + foreach key… + yeah, or keys + I don't see those as comparable + when you have a hash, and you need to iterate, you do. + when you have an array, and you need to iterate, you do + what is there to choose between? + the hash has no real value stored other than the key so i + converted to arrays + merlyn: you can compare the speed of the two operations + well duh + Why would you compare the speed of unrelated events? + "let's time baking this bread compared to driving to seattle" + it's pointless + merlyn: heh, yes, but I think it would make a funny + performance comparison article! :) + "always optimize for baking bread!" + * avar eats merlyn + merlyn: I was thinking more along the lines of "Performance + comparison on Perl vs RoR vs Ice Fishing" + "I repeated baking bread 5000 times to get the average" + "It took me six years" + merlyn: too bad there isn't a Benchmark module for my oven… + Ovenmark + + -- Not comparable + -- #perl, Freenode +% + Two atoms are walking down the street when one of them says + "I think I've lost an electron." The second one says "are + you sure?", to which the first one replies "Yes, I'm + positive". + So officer Schroedinger pulls over this quantum particle + and he says ``Do you know how fast you were going?'' + the particle says, ``No, but I know exactly where I am.'' + everybody has heard of Schroedinger's cat experiment + but very few people know that Schroedinger hated cats + with a passion + and actually experimented on them + he even owned a set of cat-fur gloves + cats mysteriously disappeared around Schroedinger's + laboratory + and there was no Chinese restaurant close by to explain the + disappearances + Schroedinger's cat: wanted dead AND alive + + -- Jokes about Particle Physics + -- #perl, Freenode +% +Tel Aviv - a functional definition: + +Free parking space free space. + +Shachar Shemesh +[Blog Post](http://blog.shemesh.biz/?p=435) + + -- Shachar Shemesh + -- "Tel Aviv - a Functional Definition" (Blog Post) ( ) +% + tecloSolaris: that's an irssi script. you can't run it + outside irssi. + but it fails in irssi + why does it fail? + it fails because of its parents! + I blame its parents + It fails because of society. + it fails as a fundamental shortcoming of Perl + it fails at succeeding + I blame society! + I blame Teratogen's society. + I'll blame the blamer + + -- Always find someone to blame + -- #perl, Freenode +% +In a widely anticipated move, Linux "headcase" Torvalds today announced the +immediate availability of the most advanced Linux kernel to date, version +2.6.20. + +Before downloading the actual new kernel, most avid kernel hackers have been +involved in a 2-hour pre-kernel-compilation count-down, with some even +spending the preceding week doing typing exercises and reciting PI to a +thousand decimal places. + +The half-time entertainment is provided by randomly inserted trivial syntax +errors that nerds are expected to fix at home before completing the compile, +but most people actually seem to mostly enjoy watching the compile warnings, +sponsored by Anheuser-Busch, scroll past. + +As ICD head analyst Walter Dickweed put it: "Releasing a new kernel on +Superbowl Sunday means that the important 'pasty white nerd' constituency +finally has something to do while the rest of the country sits comatose in +front of their 65" plasma screens". + +Walter was immediately attacked for his racist and insensitive remarks by +Geeks without Borders representative Marilyn vos Savant, who pointed out that +not all of their members are either pasty nor white. "Some of them even +shower!" she added, claiming that the constant stereotyping hurts nerds' +standing in society. + +Geeks outside the US were just confused about the whole issue, and were heard +wondering what the big hoopla was all about. Some of the more culturally aware +of them were heard snickering about balls that weren't even round. + +-- Linus Torvalds announcing kernel 2.6.20 ( http://lwn.net/Articles/220544/ ) + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Announcement of Kernel 2.6.20 ( http://lwn.net/Articles/220544/ ) +% +Sesquipedallianism: + +Making excessive use of long words. + +http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sesquipedallian + + -- Definition for Sesquipedallian ( ) +% + TimToady's Lament: The pain in reign falls mainly in the + 'splain. -- + + -- TimToady's Lament + -- #perl6, Freenode +% +You fool. Why did you tell him the Spanish Inquisition is coming. Now he's +going to expect it. + +niconorsk on a [Slashdot +Comment](http://politics.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=224312&cid=18164404) + + -- niconorsk + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +From the Beowulf Cluster FAQ: + +11. Should I build a cluster of these 100 386s? [1999-05-13] + +If it's OK with you that it'll be slower than a single Celeron-333 machine, +sure. Great way to learn. + + -- Beowulf mailing list FAQ ( ) +% + * f00li5h installs q-mail + * dazjorz installs f00li5h + * Zaba installs dazjorz + qmail installs f00li5h + In soviet russia … + Software installs YOU! + * dazjorz rm -rf zaba + * f00li5h is in Soviet Australia + + -- Are you being installed? + -- #perl, Freenode +% +That's me in the corner. +That's me in the spotlight. +Losing my abstraction. + +Trying to keep my point of view… +And I don't know if I can do it. +Oh no, I code too much. +Haven't debugged enough. + +Is that why I heard you laughing? +I thought that I heard you ping. +I think I thought I saw you reply. + + -- Andy Armstrong and Randal L. Schwartz + -- Perl module-authors post ( ) +% +Slashdot Comment on Reasons to or not to use MySQL: + +A nice flame war. I'm just going to sit back, crack a beer and enjoy it. It is +almost memorial day weekend, you know. Hopefully it get hot enough in here to +roast a hot dog. + +Oh goody! I'll help get things going: + +* * MySQL users will have to wait until you are done with the fire before they +can roast their hot dogs, since MySQL is not a real database and does not +support concurrent roasting; + +* * I've read the PostgreSQL manual eight times and still can't figure out +something as bloody simple as roasting a hot dog, though I did figure out I +have to call VACUUM before I can apply ketchup; + +* * Serious enterprises who care about their hot dogs use Oracle, since you +can roast over 10,000 dogs at once and optionally impart the taste of filet +mignon; + +* * If you try to roast a footlong hotdog using MySQL it will silently +truncate it to regular size, causing your child to cry; + +* * Oracle will sue you if you complain about the difficulty of starting your +fire or the blackened taste of the dogs; + +* * With SQLite your hot dogs are pre-roasted; + +* * Last year on Memorial Day, mysqld leapt out of my MacBook Pro and pushed +my cousin into the fire, resulting in third degree burns. And also it causes +cancer. And terrorism. Blindness. Violent puppy death. BOO! MYSQL IS SCARY +DON'T USE MYSQL!! + +http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=236249&cid=19275875 + + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +Max Rabkin's description for his entry is better than anything I could come up +with: + +"Calculator 2.0 is an enterprise-level client-side numerical productivity +suite. It leverages proven technologies to provide a clear and user-friendly +interface to a rich set of efficient and powerful components. It is powered by +an XML database." + +[OMGWTF Highlights #2: Misc. (The Daily +WTF)](http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/OMGWTF-Highlights-2-Misc.aspx) + + -- OMGWTF Highlights #2: Misc. (The Daily WTF) ( ) +% +I think this is the idea behind dual core: 1 core belongs to microsoft, 1 core +for you. + +-- sucati on [a Slashdot +comment](http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=244291&cid=19718695) + +No. All your core are belong to us. + +-- geobeck [in +response](http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=244291&cid=19722737). + + -- Slashdot Comments ( ) +% +Eye have a spelling chequer +It came with my pea sea +It plainly marques four my revue +Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. +Eye strike a key and type a word +And weight four it two say +Weather eye am wrong oar write. +It shows me strait a weigh. +As soon as a mist ache is maid +It nose bee fore two long +and eye can put the error rite. +Its rare lea ever wrong. +Eye have run this poem threw it +I am shore your pleased two no +Its letter perfect awl the weigh +My chequer tolled me sew. + + -- Spell Chequer ( ) +% +Oh no, here we go again.. + +"Linus just made the kernel; it's irritating when he gets credit for Linux" + +"Yeah, but at least he made the Kernel -- Gates just made the Basic compiler" + +"That's news to me - have you ever heard of this guy called Paul Allen?" + +"Doesn't matter - personally I think the Linux kernel isn't all that - I use +BSD" + +"Screw Linus -- he was wrong about BitKeeper and Tivo so he's wrong about MS & +Novell" + +"Yeah, well at least he's not a convicted monopolist" + +"Yeah, until M$ stops treating me like a criminal I refuse to buy their +software" + +Also insert random quotes and mis-quotes such as: "When Microsoft writes an +application for Linux, I've Won." - Linus Torvalds "640kb ought to be enough +for everybody" - Bill Gates + +That about cover it? Can we have a non-childish discussion now? If there's any +other slime to be thrown, just reply to this post -- let's keep the forum +clean for an actual discussion. + +[Slashdot +comment](http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=267393&cid=20200075) + + -- dhavleak + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% + this definitely gives a more solid feel for kp6 + kudos to whomever set exp_evalbot up! + masak: that was me ;) + moritz_: kudos + moritz_++ + moritz_++ + moritz++ :) + moritz_++ # the best thing about karma is that it's free + moritz++ # oh right + thanks + "karma is like software - it's better when it's free" ;-) + + -- Free Karma + -- #perl6, Freenode +% + Wow, I've won 4M pounds sterling, and all I have to do is + contact someone in Zambia for more information. What could + possibly go wrong? + talexb: heh. + Wait, I thought *I* won that. + rindolf, Can't believe people still fall for that line .. + damn, wish I would win something… I just seem to be + pre-approved for about $13 billion worth of home loans + Oops, sorry jagerman .. I'm already faxing this lady my Power + of Attorney!!! + fwiles, Oh, that'll buy you a nice semi in Toronto. + talexb: Oh, I'm way ahead of you then. I'm flying there to + meet with "government officials." + I'm paying for it myself, of course, since I'll be rich once + they transfer the money to me. + jagerman, Rats! Hey, I know a couple of lawyers if you need + 'em .. very trustworthy, share some office space with some + barbers. + + -- Getting Rich Easily + -- #perl, Freenode +% +Poetical sing-song or hypnotically rhythmic meter are often found in the +rhetoric of dictators, evangelists, sibyls, politicians, theologians, +mountebanks, social "intellectuals", media men, medicine men, hallucinating +psychotics, chanting shiites, and screaming terrorists. Consider how millions +of normally rational Germans thrilled and responded to the poetical cadence +and charisma of the consummate altruist neocheater, Adolph Hitler. The +results: a reign of destruction with tens of millions of human beings +slaughtered so one impotent man could indulge his mysticism to feel unearned +power. All that slaughter was for nothing more than to let one neocheater feel +a pseudo self-esteem. …Twenty million dead so one pip-squeak could feel big +and important. + +"So what!" cry the mystics as the lifetime efforts of a thousand productive, +innocent individuals are blown to bits every day without a backward glance. So +what if the troops roll across the country with military cadence and guns +ablaze. So what if they level town after town, reducing to rubble and corpses +all the values, beauty, and life that took generations of productive effort to +build. + +And that is all the chanting religious automatons or splendid Panzer divisions +know how to do -- to destroy in a moment, without a thought, all the values +that producers labored for lifetimes to build. Chanting mobs or marching +troops never glance back, never think for a moment of the death and +destruction they leave behind. So what! the mystics and neocheaters cry. So +what if genocide happens in Russia, Nazi Germany, Cuba, Cambodia, Red China, +or in our land. "I don't want to hear it! To hell with the lifetime efforts of +productive individuals! …Save the snail darter!" + +Neo-Tech Advantage No. 104 + + -- Frank R. Wallace + -- Neo-Tech Advantage No. 104 ( ) +% +> > > Ah, understood. I was stuck with Outlook at my last job, and it was +> > > impossible to get it to quote a message in a way that you could +> > > actually reply to things point by point. It seemed optimized for +> > > sending a message to every person in the company and making all of +> > > your text blue. What a fucking joke. +> > +> > If it's a joke you should use Comic Sans so everyone /knows/ it's +> > funny. +> +> No no, Comic Sans is for presentations to the shareholders! + +Somebody who is presenting to shareholders knows how to change the +default font? + +Weird… + + -- Jonathan Rockway, Andy Armstrong, Jonathan Rockway, and Adrian Howard + -- Perl Module Authors Post ( ) +% +Geez…get any 10 lawyers together, one will be a real decent person, the other +nine will be total asshats. + +[Slashdot +Comment](http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=332831&cid=21033847) + +It just appears that way because it's logarithmic. 100 lawyers will net you 2 +good ones, 1000 lawyers 3 good ones and so forth. + +[Slashdot +comment](http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=332831&cid=21035649) + + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +What *would* Jesus do? + +Oh my god. + +[ + +"They felt Jesus would not have approved of copyright breaches." + +Jesus, you da man! Stick it to those kids! + +You might be interested to note that the students had studied "Exodus 20:15 - +you shall not steal" which comes a little way before Jesus anyway. Wasn't the +whole point of Jesus coming to make the "new commandment" that people "love +one another as I have loved you" and to annul the previous commandments that +were given to Moses? I was raised Christian and was Christian for a long time +but now am not, but I can't quite remember the specifics of this point. + +Anyway, the point is that Jesus probably would have told them to stick Exodus +to the man and just get on with the lovin'. Or something. + +liedra in [a blog post](http://liedra.livejournal.com/21176.html). + + -- liedra + -- Blog Post ( http://liedra.livejournal.com/21176.html ) +% + defc0n-: Make sure to use a nice tight knot, so your joined + thread doesn't fall apart + thread jokes, how droll + * LeoNerd grins "I have a whole stack of them waiting here.." + C jokes are worse, a la if (malloc(sizeof(yourmom_t)) == + NULL) printf("error: mom too fat\n"); + joke? hell that’s good logic! =P Your + Your momma so fat, the bitch needs PAE to fit in memory w/o + using up swap + yo momma so fat, your dad has to run RHEL4's "hugemem" kernel + your mom is sooooo fat! everyone she comes in contact with + has a buffer overflow! + … she needs 64k cluster size? + (going for a combined fat/FAT joke there) + + -- Geeky "Your Momma's So Fat" Jokes + -- #perl, Freenode +% +Michael Frame: + +<<< + +Managed C++… there’s a pile of hate. Let’s take all the complexity and bad +design in C++, and throw away the speed and efficiency by compiling it to .NET +interpreted pseudocode instead. Microsoft has such great ideas when it comes +to languages. + +>>> + +To which in reply, Yossi Kreinin: + +<<< + +What’s there not to like with C++/CLI? You can have macros expanding to +templates from which generics are generated, and then have classes generated +from the generics. And these classes can have a close function and two +destructors, and hold references to unmanaged pointers to managed pointers! +With C++, you only have duplicate features, but with C++/CLI, you can finally +have triplicate ones! You see, this is a language for an expert. Experts love +having 3 different ways to do things, each broken in its own way. + +>>> + + -- use.perl.org Blog Post ( http://use.perl.org/~Aristotle/journal/34740 ) +% +I think you'll find that the [Windows] Desktop Search is completely +inseparable from the desktop and that the latter would be rendered completely +useless if it is uninstalled. Just like IE is. + +speaker of the truth in + + + -- speaker of the truth + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +A mouse is a device used to point at the xterm you want to type in. + + -- Unknown + -- alt.sysadmin.recovery ( ) +% +Apart from the fact that I congratulate you for writing bugless software +without peer review, I also congratulate you for being able to write a fully +RFC compliant MLM that won't blow up when you receive input you didn't account +for. + +Quite frankly, even a crappy sysadmin can get a reasonable mailman setup +working (including nice archiving), quicker than the best coder can rewrite a +full MLM from scratch. And you still have time left over to modify/fix/improve +mailman to do the few things it didn't do quite right for you. + +But if your attitude to coding is "I'd rather rewrite all this than soiling my +eyes and hands looking at someone else's code", that's not a very good way to +get hired anywhere as a coder, and even if you are super brilliant, you end up +being a DJB that people snicker at with "that guy thinks he's so bright that +he had to write his own libc" (instead of fixing/wrapping the few problematic +pieces of them, and in the case of reasonable maintainers, contributing the +code back). + + -- Marc Merlin + -- linux-elitists blog post ( ) +% +We're not just doing it for money…We're doing it for a shitload of money! + +Excerpt from Spaceballs + + -- Mel Brooks + -- Spaceballs ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094012/ ) +% + Is there any web application framework for Perl? Something + ala Ruby on Rails + asarch: Jifty and Catalyst and lots more! + asarch: catalyst + for example CGI::Application. + asarch: Perl on Pontoons. + Jifty is closer to Rails than Catalyst is + Catalyst is like Lego, Jifty is like that not-Lego stuff that + sucks :-) + Thanks Yaakov + Let me see… + I WAS LYING + THERE ARE NO PONTOONS + Why can't you just use Rails? Too slow? Too crap? + lol :-D + Ruby on Rails will always seem like Ruby on Crack to me, + thanks to that promotional video… + Haskell on Highways + Logo on Logs + PHP on PCP + BCPL on Boats + They should bring back BCPL + JCL on Jets + cobol on cobbles + Algol on Airplanes + Snobol on Snowmobiles + Ada on Armored Transports + + -- %s on %s + -- #perl, Freenode +% +Slashdot Response to "BBC Creates 'Perl on Rails'": + +This is proof that there is a conspiracy to make up absurd programming +shenanigans to sell overpriced door stoppers! Coming soon… + +* "Perl on Rails for Dummies" + +* "Perl on Rails for Idiots" + +* "Perl on Rails Bible" + +* "Perl on Rails in 24 Hours" + +* "Perl on Rails in a Nutshell" + +* "Perl on Rails: The Missing Manual" + +…at a bookstore near you to burn a hole in your wallet! + + -- creimer + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +Among the generalists, the conventional wisdom is that the worse-is-better +approach is more adaptive. Personally, I get a little tired of the argument: +My worse-is-better is better than your worse-is-better because I'm better at +being worser! Is it really true that the worse-is-better approach always wins? +With Perl 6 we're trying to sneak one better-is-better cycle in there and hope +to come out ahead before reverting to the tried and true worse-is-better +approach. Whether that works, only time will tell. + +Larry Wall in "State of the Onion 11" +http://www.perl.com/pub/a/2007/12/06/soto-11.html?page=3 + + -- Larry Wall + -- State of the Onion 11 ( ) +% + I have discovered another benefit to the unemployed status! + I can cook whenever I want. + ew73: cooking with… imagination? + sili: I'm actually quite good at teh cookingz. + ew73: ARE YOU GOOD PROGRAMMAR 2/ + no :( + I guess that explains why you're unemployed :p + That was mean! + it's not like I stole your bike + That also would be mean. + good cooking impresses the ladies a lot more than good + programming. + depends on the lady + (any present female company excepted, of course) + phroggy: except when you don't have any money + phroggy: But imagine, a good cook AND a good programmer. + I can cook some stuff. + jdv79: yeah, that nixes the deal. I have that problem too. + its a start + "Here's my recipe for mushroom stir-fry. And HERE's the source + for my nutritional database system." + haha + ew73: so when you load the data model, do you get the recipe + free? + jim: Geek. + * jim looks around… + like yer any different :) + + -- Too many Freenode #perl cooks. + -- #perl, Freenode +% + --> FilipeMendes has joined #perl + any way to avoid having users running perl? I need + specify who can or who can not + FilipeMendes: uh… why? + security purposes + haha + chmod 0 /usr/bin/perl + question repeated, with more emphasis and incredulity + i want specify some users + FilipeMendes: why would you not want users running perl? + chmod wouldnt be useful + FilipeMendes: chmod 750 /usr/bin/perl; chgrp leet + /usr/bin/perl; and put the leet people in that group ? + hmmm + you realize that any user who wants can just stick their + own perl executable there? + FilipeMendes: ACL , maybe. + also your system scripts might rely on it + (and probably all of the users actually end up using + perl?) + modify the perl code to have it exit based on checking a + uid whitelist. :) + change the name to something obscure only the cool people + know + _perl + realize that removing tools does not remove abilities and + give up + the _ means it's private! + mauke: :D + + -- Security by perl-deprivation + -- #perl, Freenode +% +It was 20 years ago today +Larry Wall taught some text to play +It's been going in & out of style +But it's stuck around for quite a while() +So may I introduce to you +The tool you've loved for all these years +Larry's Practical Extract & Report Laaaanguage + +It's Larry's Practical Extract Report Lang +5.10 still has some bugs to fix +Larry's Practical Extract Report Lang +Don't ask for a date for version 6… + +http://perlbuzz.com/2007/12/it-was-twenty-years-ago-today.html +on Perl's 20th Birthday + + -- Andy Lester + -- Perl's 20th Birthday ( ) +% +The regression list keeps shrinking, so we're still on track for a full 2.6.24 +release in early January. Assuming we don't all overeat during the holidays +and nobody gets any work done. But we all know that the holidays are really +the time when we get away from the boring "real work", and can spend 24/7 on +kernel hacking instead, right? + +Here's to a merry christmas, doing the whole druidic festival around the tree +thing. + +Linus Torvalds announcing Linux Kernel prepatch 2.6.24-rc6 +http://lwn.net/Articles/262978/ + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Announcing Linux Kernel prepatch 2.6.24-rc6 ( ) +% +<<< + +Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular +expressions." Now they have two problems. + +--Jamie Zawinski, in comp.lang.emacs + +>>> + +— OMouse in http://programming.reddit.com/info/1awnv/comments/c1axk7 + +<<< + +Some people, when confronted with regular expressions, always think "I know, +I'll paste that Jamie Zawinski quote, and people will think I'm clever!" + +These people have a problem. + +>>> + +— dmd in http://programming.reddit.com/info/1awnv/comments/c1axqc + + -- dmd + -- Reddit Comment ( ) +% + mst: doh. + mst++ # thinking outside the box. + mst++ # utterly destroying the box. + SELL THE BOX! + CAPITALIST PIG! + :D + + -- Boxing + -- #perl, Freenode +% +I have discovered that there are two types of command interfaces in the world +of computing: good interfaces and user interfaces. + +Daniel J. Bernstein (DJB) in http://cr.yp.to/qmail/guarantee.html + + -- Daniel J. Bernstein (DJB) + -- "The qmail security guarantee" ( http://cr.yp.to/qmail/guarantee.html ) +% +Xeno's paradox is easily disproved in three steps: + +1. Get crossbow and bolt. + +2. Aim crossbow at Xeno. + +3. Fire. + +If the bolt moves to Xeno, then it is proved that movement is possible. Also, +Xeno will be dead. Win win situation. + + -- HUADPE + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +I bow down before you. + +I thought I had done some rather horrible things with gcc built-ins and +macros, but I hereby hand over my crown to you. + +As my daughter would say: that patch fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every +branch on the way down. Very impressive. + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Email ( http://lwn.net/Articles/266314/ ) +% +Are you saying that this linux can run on a computer without windows +underneath it, at all ? As in, without a boot disk, without any drivers, and +without any services ? + +That sounds preposterous to me. + +If it were true (and I doubt it), then companies would be selling computers +without a windows. This clearly is not happening, so there must be some error +in your calculations. I hope you realise that windows is more than just Office +? Its a whole system that runs the computer from start to finish, and that is +a very difficult thing to acheive. A lot of people dont realise this. + +Microsoft just spent $9 billion and many years to create Vista, so it does not +sound reasonable that some new alternative could just snap into existence +overnight like that. It would take billions of dollars and a massive effort to +achieve. IBM tried, and spent a huge amount of money developing OS/2 but could +never keep up with Windows. Apple tried to create their own system for years, +but finally gave up recently and moved to Intel and Microsoft. + +Its just not possible that a freeware like the Linux could be extended to the +point where it runs the entire computer fron start to finish, without using +some of the more critical parts of windows. Not possible. + +I think you need to re-examine your assumptions. + + -- jerryleecooper + -- Talkback on ZDNet ( ) +% +I mean really, after the first 6143569056076952107294386875907695350 times +maybe it was worthy of a chuckle, but to keep on modding up this joke suggests +some form of psychosis. + +Wait, I'll put this in a way that you mods can understand: + +1. go to slashdot + +2. find a story + +3. find a comment on that story + +4. post a tired, old, lame-ass joke for the 9 billionth time + +5. ??????? + +6. GET MODDED UP! + +Ok, I followed the silly meme, where's my +5 Funny? + + -- Anonymous Coward + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +Linux Genuine Advantage™ is an exciting and mandatory new way for you to place +your computer under the remote control of an untrusted third party! + +According to an independent study conducted by some scientists, many users of +Linux are running non-Genuine versions of their operating system. This puts +them at the disadvantage of having their computers work normally, without +periodically phoning home unannounced to see if it's OK for their computer to +continue functioning. These users are also missing out on the Advantage of +paying ongoing licensing fees to ensure their computer keeps operating +properly. + +To remedy this, we have created a new program available as a required free +download: Linux Genuine Advantage™! + +Finally! Linux users can experience a feature that until now remained the +exclusive domain of proprietary software. + +Once you've installed Linux Genuine Advantage™, you'll want to register and +send in your licensing fees to receive these important benefits: + +* Your computer, which worked just fine before, will continue functioning +normally! + +* Our software which you just installed will not disable logins on your +computer (as long as our license server keeps working properly)! + +* It's totally awesome! We might not raise the yearly licensing fees in the +future! + +Plus, if you act now, we promise not to launch unfounded lawsuits against you, +slander you or our competitors in the press and the courts (possibly by using +other smaller companies as pawns), or require you to pay us for software you +won't use on every new computer you buy! + + -- Linux Genuine Advantage ( http://www.linuxgenuineadvantage.org/ ) +% +Get the Linux Genuine Advantage! + +Did you wake up this morning and say "I wish someone would figure out a way to +let me do less with my computer"? You've come to the right place! + + -- Linux Genuine Advantage ( http://www.linuxgenuineadvantage.org/ ) +% +08/25/2007 - The Windows Genuine Advantage servers went down worldwide, +marking any Windows machines as pirated during Microsoft's server outage. +Meanwhile, the Linux Genuine Advantage™ activation server was up the whole +time. Truly another victory for Open Source software! Microsoft, contact us if +you'd like to license Linux Genuine Advantage™, we'd love to enter into a +lucrative licensing agreement. With the money you save, you could put the WGA +programmers onto other tasks, like improving Vista! + +02/03/2007 - The Linux Genuine Advantage™ crack is spreading! Someone uploaded +it to The Pirate Bay! Looks like it's time to get more involved in Swedish +politics from across the globe! + +02/02/2007 - Linux Genuine Advantage™ has been cracked by computer hackers! +Rather than improving our software, we'll be sending our team of intimidating +lawyers to pay them a visit. + + -- Linux Genuine Advantage ( http://www.linuxgenuineadvantage.org/ ) +% +So I'd like to start off with my own irrationalities. + +I don't think syntax should dangle in the wind. I'm with Aristotle. I think +things should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Which means I like K&R +bracketing. I do not like the way that Python hangs stuff out there, with no +end. + +I think that ordinary people dislike abstraction. That's because I dislike +abstraction and I think I'm ordinary. (laughter) I might be wrong about that, +but I don't know. + +I simultaneously believe that languages are wonderful and awful. You have to +hold both of those. Ugly things can be beautiful. And beautiful can get ugly +very fast. You know, take Lisp. You know, it's the most beautiful language in +the world. At least up until Haskell came along. (laughter) But, you know, +every program in Lisp is just ugly. I don't figure how that works. + +I think visual metaphors are very important. How it looks. Different things +should look different. Similar things should look similar. A language designer +simultaneously has to care what other people think, and has to not care what +other people think. Otherwise you go crazy. Well, crazier. (laughter) + +And finally, I think God has free will. And therefore he created programmers +with free will and that they ought to be given choices. + + -- Larry Wall + -- Present Continuous, Future Perfect ( ) +% +Now, I'm not the only language designer with irrationalities. You can think of +some languages to go with some of these things. + +* "We've got to start over from scratch" - Well, that's almost any academic +language you find. + +* "English phrases" - Well that's Cobol. You know, cargo cult English. +(laughter) + +* "Text processing doesn't matter much" - Fortran. + +* "Simple languages produce simple solutions" - C. + +* "If I wanted it fast, I'd write it in C" - That's almost a direct quote from +the original awk page. + +* "I thought of a way to do it so it must be right" - That's obviously PHP. +(laughter and applause) + +* "You can build anything with NAND gates" - Any language designed by an +electrical engineer. (laughter) + +* "This is a very high level language, who cares about bits?" - The entire +scope of fourth generation languages fell into this… problem. + +* "Users care about elegance" - A lot of languages from Europe tend to fall +into this. You know, Eiffel. + +* "The specification is good enough" - Ada. + +* "Abstraction equals usability" - Scheme. Things like that. + +* "The common kernel should be as small as possible" - Forth. + +* "Let's make this easy for the computer" - Lisp. (laughter) + +* "Most programs are designed top-down" - Pascal. (laughter) + +* "Everything is a vector" - APL. + +* "Everything is an object" - Smalltalk and its children. (whispered:) Ruby. +(laughter) + +* "Everything is a hypothesis" - Prolog. (laughter) + +* "Everything is a function" - Haskell. (laughter) + +* "Programmers should never have been given free will" - Obviously, Python. +(laughter) + +So my psychological conjecture is that normal people, if they perceive that a +computer language is forcing them to learn theory, they won't like it. In +other words, hide the fancy stuff. It can be there, just hide it. + + -- Larry Wall + -- Present Continuous, Future Perfect ( ) +% +Back to dimensionality. When you are saying something linguistically, it's +like taking a trip. You know, when you take a trip from California to Netanya, +you don't go straight south and then straight west and then straight north. +It's not orthogonal. There are little bits at the beginning. Then you take +bigger hops on the planes and then you take littler hops at the end. Language +works the same way, it's fractal. There is little orthogonality. At least +apparently; you can have orthogonal views of it, there are orthogonal subsets. +But there are multiple orthogonal subsets. At first glance it just looks like +a network, and you have to navigate the geography. + + -- Larry Wall + -- Present Continuous, Future Perfect ( ) +% +Now in terms of the anthropology we try to welcome people into the tribe. We +allow people to have their own little fiefdoms, where they are the ruler and +can beat up on their followers. + +We try to let people share with each other. We try to capture knowledge. Both +of those things are why we have the CPAN, Comprehensive Perl Archive Network, +which is arguably one of the greatest repositories of reusable crappy software +in the world. (laughter). + +And we have a culture of cooperating with other cultures too. We try to make +Parrot so that other languages can ran on top of that. We've always tried to +hook up Perl with everything. In kind of a humble sort of way. And finally +it's culture of fun. At least we try to make it that way. And that's why I +give weird talks. + + -- Larry Wall + -- Present Continuous, Future Perfect ( ) +% +«had been responsible for the 'production and distribution of more than 90 +percent of the high-quality counterfeit Microsoft software products.» + +Why doesn't MSFT sell these "high-quality" products instead of the crap +they've been selling us for years. + + -- boguslinks + -- Slashdot Comment ( ) +% + can someone tell me what this epoch translates to in %Y-%m-%d + format? 1202256000 + eval: POSIX::strftime("%Y-%m-%d", gmtime(1202256000)) + integral: 2008-02-06 + nice! + note that if you're not specifying timezone you're in for a + world of hate + err, *pain + s/pain/butter/ + I will dump butter on you unless you specify tz. + Also if you do specify tz. + Fuck it, I will dump butter on you, fullstop. + don't waste good butter on them, try margarine + + -- Timezone'd + -- #perl, Freenode +% + gah + DateTime::Format::Strptime is not one of the core + modules + boo hoo cpan it + "i (can't|don't want to) use external modules" + (If only we had some sort of comprehensive archive + network.. for perl stuff.. complete with a convenient + tool you could use to easily fetch, build, and install + modules!) + apeiron: "oh, but you're a dumbass" + "carry on then" + iank! I know I'll call it Ruby on Rails! + well, it'd be different if CPAN and CPANPLUS really + were convenient. + POSIX::strptime is not a core module either + this sucks + Send patches or shut up. :) + CPAN IS VERY FUCKING CONVENIENT DO YOU WANT ME TO PUNCH + YOU IN THE SPLEEN + apt-get : cpan :: brilliant : annoying + this : pretentious and awkward :: 1 : 1 + iank: not so conveinent when you're writing software to + be deployed on 100 servers and you dont want to have to + install the same module 100 times + bundle it with your app. + x86: stop failing at sysadmining + Or that. + They're also pure-perl so this is very, very trivial. + We have PARs which are jsut like Java's JARs for even + more deployability win + woohoo + and people have this retarded obsession with only using + core + I mean, anybody who does perl for a living grows out of + it pretty fucking fast + but there's always colossal whining the first time you + tell someone to get something from CPAN + But due to my last point, PAR isn't as well known as it + should be + x86: thanks for being today's example :) + + -- CPAN is your Friend (or Enemy) + -- #perl, Freenode +% + GumbyBRAIN: who is man bear pig? + Man i need to get a modification of a fried pig and eating + without my hands wouldn't be "too much bacon" for me; i + don't know what @inc is? + mrmccrac-: he is half man, and half bearpig. + * shaldannon is half man, half asleep + Half ass leap? + What's a leap? + * shaldannon stabs iank + oof + * iank punches shaldannon + * shaldannon kicks iank in the groin + * iank passes out from the pain + + -- As long as you don't resort to violence + -- #perl, Freenode +% +If choice of syntax were the main factor of the maintainability of existing +code, wouldn't the comment mantra be "Comment what you're doing, not why"? + +You can look up syntax in the language's documentation. + + -- chromatic + -- Choice of Syntax ( http://use.perl.org/~chromatic/journal/35625 ) +% +I don't have many examples where the author really blew it, because I try not +to answer those questions. I figure that even if I don't, someone else will +come along and say ``Because you can't just make shit up and expect the +computer to magically know what you mean, Retardo!''. And even if nobody does +come along and say this, that's not a bad thing. + + -- Mark Jason Dominus + -- "More about How to Ask a Good Question" ( ) +% +Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to replace a lightbulb? + +A: None! We'll fix it in software. + + -- Unknown Author + -- Lightbulb Jokes - Computers ( ) +% +When the first caveman programmer chiseled the first program on the walls of +the first cave computer, it was a program to paint the string `Hello, world' +in Antelope pictures. Roman programming textbooks began with the `Salut, +Mundi' program. I don't know what happens to people who break with this +tradition, but I think it's safer not to find out. We'll start with a series +of hello world programs that demonstrate the different aspects of the basics +of writing a kernel module. + + -- Ori Pomerantz + -- Linux Kernel Module's Programmer Guide ( ) +% +The difference between a program and a script isn't as subtle as most people +think. A script is interpreted, and a program is compiled. + +Of course, there's no reason you can't write a compiler that immediately +executes the compiled form of a program without writing compilation artifacts +to disk, but that's an implementation detail, and precision in technical +matters is important. + +Though Perl 5, for example, doesn't write out the artifacts of compilation to +disk and Java and .Net do, Perl 5 is clearly an interpreter even though it +evaluates the compiled form of code in the same way that the JVM and the CLR +do. Why? Because it's a scripting language. + +Okay, that's a facetious explanation. + +The difference between a program and a script is if there's native compilation +available in at least one widely-used implementation. Thus Java before the +prevalence of even the HotSpot JVM and its JIT was a scripting language and +now it's a programming language, except that you can write a C interpreter +that doesn't have a JIT and C programs become scripts. + + -- chromatic + -- "Program vs. Script" ( http://use.perl.org/~chromatic/journal/35804 ) +% +Of course, if someone were to write an extra optimizer step for Perl 5 to +evaluate certain parts of the optree and generate native code in memory on +certain platforms without writing it out to disk (uh oh…) and then execute +that code under certain conditions, all Perl 5 scripts would automatically +turn into programs. You know, like .pmc files, or Python's .pyc files. Uh. + +As well, if more people use Punie (Perl 1 on Parrot) this year than native +Perl 1 -- a possibility -- then Perl 1 scripts automatically become Perl 1 +programs because Punie can use Parrot's JIT. I don't know if this powerful +upgrade from script to program is retroactive, but I see no reason why not. + +Perl 5 scripts were briefly programs while Ponie was viable, but the removal +of the code from the Parrot tree has now downgraded them back to scripts. We +apologize for the inconvenience. + + -- chromatic + -- "Program vs. Script" ( http://use.perl.org/~chromatic/journal/35804 ) +% +To summarize, if you have a separate compilation step visible to developers, +you have programs. If not, you have scripts. An exception is that if you have +a separate, partial compilation step at runtime and not visible to users, then +you may have programs. The presence of one implementation that performs +additional compilationy thingies at runtime instantly upgrades all scripts to +programs, while the presence of an interpreter for a language in which people +normally write programs, not scripts, does not downgrade programs to scripts. +Program-ness is sticky. + +I hope this is now clear. + +Ironically some JavaScript implementations have JITs, so the colloquial name +of the language should change from JavaScript to JavaProgram. + +Script bad, four-legs good. + + -- chromatic + -- "Program vs. Script" ( http://use.perl.org/~chromatic/journal/35804 ) +% +I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. +My wish has come true - I no longer know how to use my telephone. + + -- Bjarne Stroustrup + -- My Other New Computer (Replacement Model) ( ) +% +Moving pianos is dangerous. +Moving pianos are dangerous. + + -- Language Log + -- "Nearly All Strings of Words are Ungrammatical" ( ) +% +> Someone here said "Real Men use LaTeX". So I'll add: +> * "Real men don't install Wine" +> * "Real men don't watch T.V." + +Real men don't listen to sentences that start with "Real men don't". + + -- Whatsup.org.il Comment ( http://whatsup.org.il/article/6023 ) +% +I have to say I cringed a little when I read it, because it helps reinforce +the idea that there's a sort of Perl Hierarchy, or that there are Perl gods, +or that "you must be this tall to ride". + +Randal and I are just normal ol' Perl hackers. We just spend a lot of time on +Perl, and writing about it, and talking about it. The only reason we are Perl +luminaries is that we are Perl luminaries. I'm not necessarily a better +programmer, or have better ideas, or I'm a better debugger than anyone else. I +just do it and make noise about it. + +Even though Joey's response was out of line, I admire his spirit of "I'm just +going to go do it." TMTOWTDI is one of the cardinal rules of Perl. Similarly, +over on the module-authors list, the perennial argument of "Maybe CPAN should +have minimum requirements for posting modules" has raised its ugly head. +Instead, I said what I always say during these arguments: "CPAN thrives +BECAUSE of the unfettered uploading of shit, not in spite of it." + +So to it will be with Joey's website. Maybe it will be a dismal failure. Maybe +it will become the Next Great Perl resource. However, I know that there is +zero chance of Next Great Perl resource if he doesn't try. The only way you +get home runs is by stepping up to the plate, and if you strike out, you're +doing pretty good. Batting 3/10 is a great batting average, but in real life +we find those odds terrifying. + +Personally, as much as I like the community around Perlmonks, I think it's a +terrible site for new people, and is practically unsearchable. I'd love to see +something leapfrog Perlmonks and become the Next Great Thing. That's why I +stopped writing to use.perl.org, because I think it's a terrible news source. +Instead, I started perlbuzz.com, and went with that. Yes, it's different, but +that's OK. + +Let a thousand flowers bloom! + + -- Andy Lester + -- "Let a thousand flowers bloom" ( ) +% + "omg i have web 2.0 photoship skillz AND LOVE TEH GIT LETS + MAKE A STARTUP!!!11!!" + it drops my cool-concept impressedness of github like 100 + points + that's the rails mentality + "I have an idea, so I'm going to make a company" + compared to the perl version, "i have an idea, so I'm going + to write a module" + is that why we're all poor? + awwaiid: no, starting companies is not how you get rich :) + + -- What do you do with an idea? + -- #moose, irc.perl.org +% + + Khisanth =~ s/disclaimer/death threat/ + I can live with that + ooh, i got write access on Khisanth + Khisanth =~ s/must sleep/must give Botje all my money/ + and now we play the waiting game … >:) + Botje, write& + yeah + * Khisanth gives all of Botje's money to himself + Khisanth: that's not supposed to happen! + * Botje resets the universe + buggy code + no such thing Khisanth! =) + the bugs are a lie! + + -- Manipulating People with Perl + -- #perl, Freenode +% +Win95 - Wow! +Win98 - Oh +WinMe - Ow! +Win2k - Oooh +WinXp - Meh +Vista - Doh! + +This mono-syllabic review brought to you by the letter 'W' and the number '7' + + -- fretinator + -- I can't imagine saying "oh, wow!" about ( ) +% + Prim's algorithm, om nom nom + cats don't like being trapped in trees, is handy to know how + to traverse one quickly! + true + the more tree traversal algorithms a kit knows, the sneakier + the kit is + * f00li5h visits every node, travelling on the minimum weighted + edges + sneaky kit + + -- Cats and Computer Trees + -- #perl, Freenode +% +Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. + +Try again. Fail again. Fail better. + + -- Samuel Beckett + -- Worstward Ho ( ) +% +Suppose you went back to Ada Lovelace and asked her the difference between a +script and a program. She'd probably look at you funny, then say something +like: Well, a script is what you give the actors, but a program is what you +give the audience. That Ada was one sharp lady… + + -- Larry Wall + -- "Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting" ( ) +% +Now, however it was initially intended, I think BASIC turned out to be one of +the first major scripting languages, especially the extended version that DEC +put onto its minicomputers called BASIC/PLUS, which happily included recursive +functions with arguments. I started out as a BASIC programmer. Some people +would say that I'm permanently damaged. Some people are undoubtedly right. + +But I'm not going to apologize for that. All language designers have their +occasional idiosyncrasies. I'm just better at it than most. :-) + +Anyway, when I was a RSTS programmer on a PDP-11, I certainly treated BASIC as +a scripting language, at least in terms of rapid prototyping and process +control. I'm sure it warped my brain forever. Perl's statement modifiers are +straight out of BASIC/PLUS. It even had some cute sigils on the ends of its +variables to distinguish string and integer from floating point. + +But you could do extreme programming. In fact, I had a college buddy I did +pair programming with. We took a compiler writing class together and studied +all that fancy stuff from the dragon book. Then of course the professor +announced we would be implementing our own language, called PL/0. After +thinking about it a while, we announced that we were going to do our project +in BASIC. The professor looked at us like were insane. Nobody else in the +class was using BASIC. And you know what? Nobody else in the class finished +their compiler either. We not only finished but added I/O extensions, and +called it PL 0.5. That's rapid prototyping. + + -- Larry Wall + -- "Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting" ( ) +% +My first scripting language was written in BASIC. For my job in the computer +center I wrote a language that I called JAM, short for Jury-rigged All-purpose +Meta-language. Story of my life… + +JAM was an inside-out text-processing language much like PHP, except that HTML +hadn't been invented yet. We mostly used it as a fancy macro processor for +BASIC. Unlike PHP, it did not have 3,000 functions in one namespace. We +wouldn't have had the memory, for one thing. + + -- Larry Wall + -- "Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting" ( ) +% +For good or ill, when I went off to grad school, I studied linguistics, so the +only computer language I used there was LISP. It was my own personal McCarthy +era. + +Is LISP a candidate for a scripting language? While you can certainly write +things rapidly in it, I cannot in good conscience call LISP a scripting +language. By policy, LISP has never really catered to mere mortals. + +And, of course, mere mortals have never really forgiven LISP for not catering +to them. + + -- Larry Wall + -- "Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting" ( ) +% +I think, to most people, scripting is a lot like obscenity. I can't define it, +but I'll know it when I see it. Here are some common memes floating around: + +<<< + +Simple language +"Everything is a string" +Rapid prototyping +Glue language +Process control +Compact/concise +Worse-is-better +Domain specific +"Batteries included" + +>>> + +…I don't see any real center here, at least in terms of technology. If I had +to pick one metaphor, it'd be easy onramps. And a slow lane. Maybe even with +some optional fast lanes. + + -- Larry Wall + -- "Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting" ( ) +% +That's not helpful. When a project doesn't release a new version, some people +say "Oh, don't use it! They don't release new versions!" When a project does +release a new version, some people say "Oh, don't use it! It's not perfect +yet!" + +Meanwhile, the so-called reliable state of the art is a jumble of Perl which +writes cross platform shell scripts to install Perl code, and you customize +that by writing a superclass from which platform-specific modules inherit +pseudo-methods which use regular expressions to search and replace +cross-platform cross-shell code, with all of the cross-platform and +cross-shell quoting issues that entails. I wish I were making any of this up. +(I wrote tests for part of it.) + +This is why we can't have nice things. + + -- chromatic + -- "Re: Module::Build 0.30 is released" ( ) +% +<<< + +Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your +country + +>>> + +-- John F. Kennedy (from his Inaugural Address). + +<<< + +The common good before the private good. + +>>> + +-- One of the slogans of Nazism in Nazi Germany. + + -- Based on a page on an Objectivism Site + -- Glossary of Nazi Germany in the Wikipedia ( ) +% + eval: [qr/^(\d)(?{ "x{$1}" })$/] + sQuEE: [qr/(?-xism:^(\d)(?{ "x{$1}" })$)/] + * mauke looks at sQuEE + :$ + Man, I always feel like I'm getting the hang of Perl until I + see nonsense like that. + what are you trying to do? + im trying to eval qr/$regex/ which contains ^(\d)(??{ + "x{$1}" })$ , but $@ returns null + no, what are you actually trying to do? + sQuEE: what is the point of doing the thing that you are + doing? + no, that’s just a testing example + im trying to assign $regex what i captured from a previous + match using qr// , eval { $regex = qr/$2/ }; + im not sure what im doing wrong + I'm not interested in what you're doing; what are you trying + to achieve? + You're capturing a regex with a regex and attempting to use + said regex? + I hope the data you're matching isn't input :( + mauke: I'm trying to achieve world peace and this regex is + the last thing standing in my way! ;) + there will be no world peace! + * Khisanth stabs PerlJam + Can I at least have whirled peas? + * PerlJam fires up the whirly gig for DrForr and inserts some + peas + * Khisanth dumps a bowl of whirled peas on DrForr's head + Mmm, whirled peas. + + -- "What are you trying to achieve?" + -- #perl, Freenode +% +<<< + +What's the difference between JavaScript and Java? + +>>> + +One is essentially a toy, designed for writing small pieces of code, and +traditionally used and abused by inexperienced programmers. + +The other is a scripting language for web browsers. + + -- Shog9 + -- Stackoverflow.com Question ( ) +% +<<< + +R is similar to other programming languages, like C, Java and Perl, in that it +helps people perform a wide variety of computing tasks by giving them access +to various commands. + +>>> + +New York Times article about R, quoted in jest's use.perl.org journal - +http://use.perl.org/~jest/journal/38229 + + -- jest + -- "Worst sentence ever written about programming in the MSM" ( ) +% +<<< + +tk: A discussion is not a war, to be won or lost. It is a communal quest for +truth. And you are inhibiting it by responding at only the most superficial +level. Look beyond the presence of a word to its context. Respond to the +thoughts expressed there. Or simply leave. + +>>> + + -- slamb + -- "What does 'lose' mean?" (Comment on an Advogato Article) ( ) +% + but jrockway will bitch about them all anyway + rhesa: 100% of those with the last name "Rockway" will do + that + hehehe + Subject: catalyst framework not compatible with PERL + stevan: i am going to name my kid "Someone is WRONG" + jrockway: I think that will be implied, no need to actually + name him that + Someone is WRONG rockway + has a nice ring to it + aka 'little Bobby wrong'? + would make a great children's book series: SiW in the zoo etc + :D + the first one in the series should be Someone is Wrong on the + internet + rhesa: that is a great idea! + rhesa: i have a friend who is writing a children's book + i will tell her to change the title and content immediately! + someone is wrong in the children's book industry! + "No, zookeeper. That animal doesn't have a tail; it's *not* a + monkey!" + + -- "Someone is Wrong" + -- #moose, irc.perl.org +% + btw, feel free to LOL: + + wow, such concise code + and i can FEEL THE SPEED from using arrays + bowl full of mush + jrockway: there was a discussion about using arrays as + objects in module-authors. + i read it and laughed + (yeah, someone is wrong on the internet, but i don't + really care) + I use JSON strings as my objects, and define my classes + in terms of regexps that pull out the right attributes. + It makes the code portable to JavaScript, except the + methods. + great plan! + regexps are fast in perl, because perl is designed for + parsing text + tx, can I add "endorsed by jon rockway" to my precis? + oh yeah + i recommend you reverse the JSON first, though, to + provide better encapsulation + otherwise people could read the objects… and that breaks + encapsulation, dontchaknow + I use UTF-16 and rot4096. + UTF-16 IS TOO SLOW! + Heh. + i can't believe we are even having this conversation… + utf-16… + i am never speaking to you again! + * rindolf wonders how one can combine JSON with inside-out + objects. + jrockway: no, no, WITHOUT the bom + BOM is what makes it slow. + rindolf: sub id { my $self = shift; $json_parser_for{ + $self }->decode($json_for{ $self })->{id} } + rjbs: LOL. + rjbs++ + unicode: somebody set us up the BOM + BOM-de-ada + Where's the BOM? There was supposed to be an + earth-shattering Ka-BOM! + I think Iran has it. + if it doesn't … Sen. McCain will introduce a bill to + provide them with one + give the bom bom bom, bom to Iran + funnier if you pronounce Iran properly + iran … iran so far away … + iRack - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw2nkoGLhrE + someone set us up the BOM + I thought all our base waz ownzed or something like that + * confound is the king of BOM + who's the BOM king? + I'm the BOM king! + "once i was the King of BOM" + hear me now + + -- Lightning Fast Objects + -- #moose, irc.perl.org +% +I did all I could to stop it, but it just wasn't possible. pgTAP 0.20 has +somehow made its way from my Subversion server and infiltrated the PostgreSQL +community. Can nothing be done to stop this menace? Its use leads to cleaner, +more stable, and more-safely refactored code. This insanity must be stopped! +Please review the following list of its added vileness since 0.19 to determine +how you can stop the terrible, terrible influence on your PostgreSQL +unit-testing practices that is pgTAP: … + +Don't make the same mistake I did, where I wrote a lot of pgTAP tests for a +client, and now testing database upgrades from 8.2 to 8.3 is just too +reliable! And by all means, DO NOT read the documentation or download and +install this monstrosity, since it could easily lead to cleaner, more stable +code, and therefore losing your job! + +http://pgtap.projects.postgresql.org/ +http://pgfoundry.org/frs/?group_id=1000389 + +YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. + +Good luck with your mission. + + -- David E. Wheeler + -- pgTAP 0.20 Infiltrates Community ( ) +% +I'm a Lesbian born in a man's body. + + -- Unclear (origin needed) + -- Unknown +% +<<< + +If you have the same ideas as everybody else, but have them one week earlier +than everyone else - then you will be hailed as a visionary. But if you have +them five years earlier, you will be named a lunatic. + +>>> + +— Barry Jones + + -- Barry Jones + -- Barry Jones Quotes ( http://www.answers.com/topic/jones-barry-1 ) +% +<<< + +Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss +people. + +>>> + +Unknown, quoted by [Admiral Hyman G. +Rickover](http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Hyman_G._Rickover) + + -- Hyman G. Rickover + -- Hyman G. Rickover Quotes ( ) +% +<<< + +Better be a tail for the lions, rather than the head of the jackals. + +>>> + +Rabbi Mathiah Ben Charash in [Pirkei Avot 4, +15](http://lib.cet.ac.il/Pages/item.asp?item=11025) + + -- Rabbi Mathiah Ben Charash + -- Pirkei Avot 4, 15 ( http://lib.cet.ac.il/Pages/item.asp?item=11025 ) +% +I must dispute your view in the strongest terms possible. Internet Explorer is +perfectly safe for everyday use. However, as there is no such thing as perfect +security, you must take additional precautions to keep evil hackers away from +your data. Apply these rules according to the sensitivity of your data, from +least important to most: + +* Disconnect your computer from your local network. Download files on another +computer, scan them for viruses, print them out, scan them into your Windows +PC using OCR software, and then view the pages in IE. + +* Do the above, but have a priest onsite to bless each page individually +before scanning it. This is an excellent deterrent against viruses with the +word "demon" in the name. + +* Do the above, but encase your PC in acrylic and immerse it in a 10,000 +gallon tank of holy water. Interact with it while wearing scuba gear. + +* Do the above, but put a lid on the tank and immerse it in the ocean. +Interact with your PC via a submersible robot in the tank from from outside +while wearing scuba gear. + +If you fail to follow these simple security guidelines, you can't blame +Microsoft for the results. + + -- palegray.net + -- "Re: Breaking News" Slashdot Comment ( ) +% +Yesterday I asked one of my students if she knew what an encyclopedia is, and +she said: "Is it something like Wikipedia?". + + -- alisonclement + -- Twitter Twit ( http://twitter.com/alisonclement/status/8421314259 ) +% +<<< + +The move from a structuralist account in which capital is understood to +structure social relations in relatively homologous ways to a view of hegemony +in which power relations are subject to repetition, convergence, and +rearticulation brought the question of temporality into the thinking of +structure, and marked a shift from a form of Althusserian theory that takes +structural totalities as theoretical objects to one in which the insights into +the contingent possibility of structure inaugurate a renewed conception of +hegemony as bound up with the contingent sites and strategies of the +rearticulation of power. + +>>> + +By the eight brazen balls of Azuza the Bibulous Bandicoot, I'd rather be cast +naked and chained into a lake of bubbling white hot fondue cheese than be one +of her students. + +That is, if she actually teaches anything at Berkeley [which can be, really, a +lovely place full of very smart science people, theologians and historians, +though you'd never know it by this whale's spout of academic doublespeak]. + +I suspect she sits on a lot of committees and inserts the word 'hegemony' into +conversations as often as possible and is avoided at all costs during the +holidays lest one become becalmed in the horse latitudes of her spleen +regarding Christmas trees, "The Ref" and the hegemony of Zionist post-piety in +a restructured universe of gender in-articulation. + +For a full PhD at UCB in a language art, she cannot, and will not, though, +write a simple, clear, understandable sentence. Think about that for a minute. + +And to think my Cal state taxes pay for her office desk chair. Man. + +Hegemoniously yours, etc. + +J + + -- J. Hall + -- Post to writers@mit.edu . ( ) +% +And truth be told I miss you. + +And truth be told I'm lying. + + -- The All American Rejects + -- "Gives You Hell" Lyrics ( ) +% +*One tool for one job?* + +<<< + +Given the nature of current operating systems and applications, do you think +the idea of "one tool doing one job well" has been abandoned? If so, do you +think a return to this model would help bring some innovation back to software +development? + +(It's easier to toss a small, single-purpose app and start over than it is to +toss a large, feature-laden app and start over.) + +>>> + +*Rob Pike:* Those days are dead and gone and the eulogy was delivered by Perl. + + -- Rob Pike + -- Slashdot Interview ( ) +% +Or think about shell programming, and reductionism. How many times have we +heard the mantra that a program should do one thing and do it well? + +Well…Perl does one thing, and does it well. What it does well is to integrate +all its features into one language. More importantly, it does this without +making them all look like each other. Ducts shouldn't look like girders, and +girders shouldn't look like ducts. Neither of those should look like water +pipes, and it's really important that water pipes not look like sewer pipes. +Or smell like sewer pipes. Modernism says that we should make all these things +look the same (and preferably invisible). Postmodernism says it's okay for +them to stick out, and to look different, because a duct ought to look like a +duct, and a sewer pipe ought to look like a sewer pipe, and hammer ought to +look like a hammer, and a telephone ought to look like either a telephone, or +a Star Trek communicator. Things that are different should look different. + + -- Larry Wall + -- "Perl, the first postmodern computer language" ( ) +% +Which is why I didn't belabor it, or introduce it out of context. I was +pointing out that Firefox's scheme is only as secure as the master password +you choose. The particular bad password I chose for the Spaceballs reference +on the hope that it might get a chuckle or trigger a brief moment of pleasant +nostalgia, forgetting that on /., every joke must be beaten to death and +explained, rehashed, insulted, re-explained by someone who thinks the insult +came due to unfamiliarity, etc., until all traces of humor vanish. Oh well… + +Hmm… This is an old story, so this probably won't receive any mods, but I have +no idea what I'd mod it if I were moderating. +Flamebait/Insightful/Funny/Interesting/Off-topic maybe? Mods, if you can +coordinate to apply each of those once, it would be awesome (and I'd end up +with overall neutral Karma!). :-) + + -- ShadowRangerRIT + -- "Re: Prettier Tool, Old Exploit" ( ) +% +I keep hearing and reading this nice proverb *if it ain't broke, don't fix +it*. The latest appearance was in response to [Shlomi +Fish](http://community.livejournal.com/shlomif_tech/37969.html) suggesting +that some Ancient Perl code should be replaced by Modern Perl code. + +I am not saying that every piece of code should be rewritten every 6 months, +but in my understanding that sentence actually translates to *let's wait till +it breaks and then panic*. + +I think people who say that sentence are afraid that the new version will +break something. Sure, there is always a chance that a change introduces an +error, but, if we are afraid to touch the code, what will happen when later on +we encounter a case where it does not work? For example, if we need to use it +in a new environment. Will we have the courage to change the code then? How +much will it cost in money, time, and lost sleep? + +I think we have been trying to teach ourselves that we should have really good +test coverage of our code and then we can easily refactor it and get rid of +technical debt. So why do we keep hearing that sentence? + + -- Gabor Szabo + -- What does "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." really mean? ( ) +% +Often, when I ask the people I train if they know Perl, they tell me “I don't +know Perl. I can only read it”. I wonder whether it indicates that Perl is not +a write-only language as some people like to claim. + + -- Gabor Szabo + -- Gabor Szabo (Perl programmer and trainer) ( http://szabgab.com/ ) +% +(Discussing patents on storylines.) + +Hopefully someone will patent reality TV shows. I am rather sick of those. + +Wait no, this wont work. You need to have a story to be able to patent it. +Soon all that will be on the air is reality TV. Noooo! + + -- nitehawk214 + -- USPTO Issues Provisional Storyline Patent ( ) +% +<<< + +Real programmers use a nice editor and a nice programming language and get it +done in less than O(N!). + +>>> + +-- vanguard on Freenode's ##programming + + -- vanguard + -- Freenode's ##programming +% +An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind. + + -- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (Attributed) + -- Mohandas Gandhi's Quotes ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mohandas_Gandhi ) +% +Princess Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids. + +Lone Starr: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess. + +Barf: Funny, she doesn't look Druish. + + -- Mel Brooks + -- Spaceballs ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094012/ ) +% +[Greg the tech support guy is sitting in a Veterans club along with a veteran.] + +Veteran: Tech support? What the hell kind of wussy veteran experience is +*that*?! + +Greg: Look, pal, *you* try to deal rationally with a horde of puerile, +clueless, I-make-more-money-than-you-so-fix-this-now dorks on a daily basis +and then tell me who should get a medal. + +[Pause.] + +Veteran: I…I'm sorry. I didn't know... + +Greg: Buddy, you have just *no idea* what *real* pain is about. + + -- Illiad + -- UserFriendly Comic Strip for 10 October, 2001 ( ) +% + “yo dawg, we heard you like recursion, so we put a yo dawg, we + heard you like recursion, so we put a yo dawg, we heard you + like recursion…” + Lubaf: :-) + Further variation: “yo dawg, we heard you don’t like + fractals.” + + -- Yo Dawg + -- #wikipedia, Freenode +% +There was one Napoleon, one George Washington, and one me! + + -- Jim Cash and Joe Epps Jr. + -- Dick Tracy (1990 film) ( ) +% +If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. + + -- Unknown + -- Unknown +% +A UDP packet walks into a bar, no one acknowledges him. + +A TCP packet walks into a bar twice because no one acknowledged him the first +time. + +An ICMP packet walks into a bar, says “Hello!” to the bartender, who then in +turn runs out to tell the ICMP packet’s wife. + +A BGP peer walks into a bar, exchanges contact details with every one, then +leaves and… yeah I’ve probably gone over my quota for terrible jokes today. + + -- Omega-00 + -- You Down with UDP? ( http://gregsowell.com/?p=2742 ) +% +The best thing about a UDP joke is that I don’t care if you get it or not. + + -- Brandon + -- You Down with UDP? ( http://gregsowell.com/?p=2742 ) +% +Golden rule #12: When the comments do not match the code, they probably are +both wrong ;) + + -- Steven Rostedt + -- Post to the Linux kernel mailing list ( http://lwn.net/Articles/433900/ ) +% +Popular pet names Rover, Cheryl and Kate could be a thing of the past. Banks +are now advising parents to think carefully before naming their child’s first +pet. For security reasons, the chosen name should have at least eight +characters, a capital letter and a digit. It should not be the same as the +name of any previous pet, and must never be written down, especially on a +collar as that is the first place anyone would look. Ideally, children should +consider changing the name of their pet every 12 weeks. + +Expectant mothers have also been advised to choose carefully where they give +birth. Anywhere that has a place name is best avoided. These are listed on +maps, which are freely available on the Internet. + +It’s a good idea too, security experts have warned, for children not to get +friendly with certain teachers. For instance, Miss Smith may be enriching your +son’s education but he should try and see if he can’t make a favourite of +Father O’Grinnighan-Scythe II, even though it may mean a lot of staying late. + +We tried to call Barclays’ security expert R0b Ste!nway for a comment, but he +was not available for 24 hours, having answered his phone incorrectly three +times in succession. + + -- Boutros + -- NewsBiscuit Post ( ) +% +There are a ton of reasons why Debian may have an older version of an upstream +release. For example, and I hasten to point out that the following list is by +no means exhaustive, and not all of the possibilities are common: + +* The Debian package maintainer is dead, but nobody noticed it yet, and nobody +has wanted an update badly enough to do an NMU or to adopt the package. + +* The upstream release is actually a fake. It's a trojan, which was put there +by the NSA in order to infiltrate the CIA mainframe. The Debian package +maintainer noticed this and uploaded that version of the package to non-free +instead of main, since the trojan code does not come with proper source. + +* Upstream has moved the RSS feed for new releases without notifying the old +feed of the move, so the Debian package maintainer missed that, and doesn't +actually know about the new release. Due to a complicated series of +happenstance involving rainbows, midget unicorns, and the ongoing rewrite of +the Netsurf web browser, the Debian package maintainer is not able to find the +new feed because it would require doing a web search and their browser doesn't +have working form support now. No other browser is available on the Amiga +they're using as their only computer, either. + +* The new release is requested by insistent Hurd porters, and the Debian +package maintainer absolutely loathes the Hurd, and will refuse to upload any +packages that work on the Hurd. + +* The Debian package maintainer suffers from mental problems cause by reading +debian-devel too much, and now has a nervous breakdown every time they +recognize a name as someone whom they've seen on the list. + +* The Debian development process is being sabotaged by Microsoft sending +people to the developers' houses pretending to be TV license checkers or +Jehova's witnesses every time they detect, using the hardware wireless +keylogger embedded in every PC, that the developer is trying to run any Debian +packaging command. + +* Apple is also sabotaging Debian by paying me to write snarky e-mails on +Debian mailing lists to distract everyone from working on the actual release, +so that we can get past the freeze and start uploading things again without +having to worry that it breaks things in ways that makes the freeze longer. + + -- Lars Wirzenius + -- Post to debian-devel ( http://lwn.net/Articles/509254/ ) +% +Some European users bugged me into adding an option to limit the number of +messages retrieved per session (so they can control costs from their expensive +phone networks). I resisted this for a long time, and I'm still not entirely +happy about it. But if you're writing for the world, you have to listen to +your customers—this doesn't change just because they're not paying you in +money. + + -- Eric Raymond + -- The Cathedral and the Bazaar ( ) +% +Thank God I found the good in goodbye! + + -- Beyoncé + -- “Best Thing I Never Had” +% +Do one thing every day that scares you. + + -- Eleanor Roosevelt + -- Quote ( http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/35592.html ) +% +I have a book on my bookshelf that I’ve never read, but that has a great +title. It says, “All Truth is God’s Truth.” And I believe that. The most +viable belief systems are those that can reach out and incorporate new ideas, +new memes, new metaphors, new interfaces, new extensions, new ways of doing +things. My goal this year is to try to get Perl to reach out and cooperate +with Java. I know it may be difficult for some of you to swallow, but Java is +not the enemy. Nor is Lisp, or Python, or Tcl. That is not to say that these +languages don't have good and bad points. I am not a cultural relativist. Nor +am I a linguistic relativist. In case you hadn't noticed. :-) + + -- Larry Wall + -- Larry Wall’s “Perl Culture” Keynote ( ) +% +A contest is being held to see which intelligence agency can find a rabbit in +a forest as quickly as possible. + +First, it's the CIA's turn. Using cutting edge satellite technology, deep +electronic scans, and other high-tech equipment, it is able to locate the +rabbit in a week. + +Then, it's the KGB's turn. They install secret agents, bribe or threaten a few +animals, and find the rabbit in two weeks. + +Then it's the [Shin Bet](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shin_Bet)’s turn (the +Shin Bet being the Israeli internal security agency). A week passes, and then +two, and then three. + +After two months, the camera zooms into the forest to see a bear tied to a +tree with a Shin Bet agent slapping him saying “Admit you’re a rabbit! Admit +you’re a rabbit! Admit it already, goddamnit!” + + -- Israeli Joke + -- Google Plus Post ( ) +% +Once I got into industry, I wrote a compiler in Pascal for a discrete event +simulator, and slavered over the forthcoming Ada specs. As a linguist, I don't +think of Ada as a big language. Now, English and Japanese, those are big +languages. Ada is just a medium-sized language. + + -- Larry Wall + -- "Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting" ( ) +% +I’m worser at superlatives. +And I don’t ever use no double negatives. + + -- James at War + -- “Bad Grammar” ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj6QqCH7g0Q ) +% +It was a /good/ storm. There was quite effective projection and passion there, +and critics agreed that if it would only learn to control its thunder it would +be, in years to come, a storm to watch. + + -- Terry Pratchett + -- Wyrd Sisters ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wyrd_Sisters ) +% +I figured wrong (with a capital R). + + -- Harvey Danger + -- “Wine, Women, and Song” ( ) +% +I was lucky as Ricardo SIGNES was also awake who explained that actually he +has stopped using Module::Starter as he is writing +[Dist::Zilla](http://metacpan.org/release/Dist-Zilla) that provides much +better project management capabilities. I pointed him at my blog entry and +after reading it he asked me if I know the expression *yak shaving* [= +performing a task which is required by a different task which is required by… +to achieve what one wants in the first place]. I've heard it, actually I even +read about it in in [The Productive +Programmer](http://productiveprogrammer.com/) I mentioned earlier in [The +Quest for the Perfect +Editor](http://szabgab.com/the-quest-for-the-perfect-editor.html) but I did +not really understand it. + +Actually, I think I understood it back when I read the book but promptly +forgotten it as I did not have any way to connect the expression to the +actions or lack of actions. + +I was so lucky to find Ricardo there, as he explained: + +* I need to fix this bug, but first I better eat something so I don’t get +tired. + +* So I'm going to have some cereal, but I'm out of milk. + +* So I'll go get some milk. But I heard that yak milk is the best, so I'll go +out to Nepal to find a yak. + +* But they're all so hairy, I can't get to their udders. + +* So, first I'll just shave the yak. + +This is just the way you have to teach. Now I can remember it much more +easily. + + -- Gabor Szabo + -- “Yak Shaving” Blog Post ( http://szabgab.com/yak-shaving.html ) +% +If a tree falls down in the middle of the forest, and there’s no one there to +hear it… what colour is the tree? + + -- Ron Gilbert + -- Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge ( ) +% +Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. + + -- Peter Ustinov + -- Peter Ustinov Quotes ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Peter_Ustinov ) +% +If Botticelli were alive today, he’d be working for Vogue. + + -- Peter Ustinov + -- Peter Ustinov Quotes ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Peter_Ustinov ) +% +Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them. + + -- Peter Ustinov + -- Peter Ustinov Quotes ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Peter_Ustinov ) +% +Feeling my way through the darkness +Guided by a beating heart +I can't tell where the journey will end +But I know where to start + +They tell me I'm too young to understand +They say I'm caught up in a dream +Life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes +Well that's fine by me + +So wake me up when it's all over +When I'm wiser and I'm older +All this time I was finding myself +And I didn't know I was lost + +I tried carrying the weight of the world +But I only have two hands +I hope I get the chance to travel the world +But I don't have any plans + +Wish that I could stay forever this young +Not afraid to close my eyes +Life's a game made for everyone +And love is the prize + + -- Avicii + -- “Wake Me Up” ( ) +% +Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, +public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system, and public health, +what have the Romans ever done for us? + +Attendee: Brought peace? + +Reg: Oh, peace - shut up! + + -- Monty Python + -- Life of Brian (1979) ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079470/quotes ) +% +Life is a strange thing. Just when you think you learned how to use it, it’s +gone. + + -- Shakespears Sister + -- “Hello (Turn Your Radio On)” ( ) +% + any time I see people talk about "Big O" as if it's some magic + voodoo I cringe hard + > I have worked +7 years as a programmer and still don't know + what Big O is + > Big O is very important and is one of the most important + things you should learn! + bro, you can learn it in 10 minutes + it's not a big deal + > In particular, "Big O" (and its related data structures and + algorithms concepts) is a key concept to making programs go + fast. + shit like that + rustles my jimmies so hard + my poor jimmies + non stop jimmies vibration + <_bryan> the cloud is more annoying + <_bryan> aka the internet renamed + A series of tubes 3.0 + <_bryan> my old company launched a cloud marketing campaign on the + cloud + <_bryan> not a single customer of mine knew or cared + In particular, "Big O" (and its related data structures and + algorithms concepts) is a key concept to making programs go + fast. + the fuck did i just read + written by this guy http://i.imgur.com/Tsm63TJ.png + D: + sanic the hodgepodge! + Shammah, you don't use big o magic? + I use the big-o lib for everything + uh + I just use std::bigO(); + that's not even fast + :| + boost::bigO() is like the least you should even consider + it's boosted so it's faster + sounds legit + + -- Big O No + -- ##reddit-gamedev, Freenode +% +A fanatic: one who redoubles his efforts after he has forgotten his aim. + + -- George Santayana + -- ESR: “Evaluating the harm from closed source” ( ) +% +As it turns out, compiling a C program [= Vim] from more than 20 years ago is +actually a lot easier than getting a Rails app from last year to work. + + -- Pascal Hartig + -- “Building Vim from 1993 today” ( ) +% +* Strength is being able to crush a tomato. + +* Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato. + +* Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato. + +* Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. + +* Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad. + +* Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad. + + -- tan620 + -- D&D Reddit “D&D Stats Explained With Tomatoes” ( ) +% +Some people were allocating memory before it was cool. These people are called +heapsters. + + -- Unknown + -- via ZadYree +% +A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough +people to make it worth the effort. + + -- Herm Albright + -- “Herm Albright’s ‘Positive Attitude’” ( ) +% +A banker, who always advised his son to think big, came home one day to find +the boy in the yard with the family dog and a sign, “Dog for Sale, $38,000.” +The father smiled and went into the house. + +The next day, the sign–and the dog–had vanished. The banker asked his son, +“You didn’t get $38,000 for the dog, did you?” + +“No,” the boy replied, “but I traded him for two $19,000 cats.” + + -- Herm Albright + -- “Herm Albright’s ‘Positive Attitude’” ( ) +% +One of my most productive days was throwing away 1,000 lines of code. + + -- Ken Thompson (Attributed) + -- Ken Thompson Quote ( ) +% +Anything less than the best is a felony. + + -- Vanilla Ice + -- “Ice Ice Baby” Song ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_Ice_Baby ) +% +Trust me: every problem in computer science may be solved by an indirection, +but those indirections are *expensive*. Pointer chasing is just about the most +expensive thing you can do on modern CPUs. + + -- Linus Torvalds + -- Post to the Linux Kernel Mailing List ( http://lwn.net/Articles/509417/ ) +% +*The Wise Janitor:* You gotta go out there, believe in the ball, and throw +yourself. + + -- Various Writers + -- Not Another Teen Movie ( ) +% +Open source software: each person contributes a brick, but ultimately each +person receives a house in return. + + -- Brendan Scott (Attributed) + -- Unknown +% +I didn’t stop pretending when I became an adult, it’s just that when I was a +kid I was pretending that I fit into the rules and structures of this world. +And now that I’m an adult, I pretend that those rules and structures exist. + + -- Ze Frank + -- Unknown +% +Hi! I’m Tony Horne, creator of P90X, and I got a brand new program for +overweight pop-stars to go from bass to treble in just 90 seconds. It’s called +Treble 90X. + + -- Bart Baker + -- Meghan Trainor - “All About That Bass” PARODY ( ) +% +It's the kind of movie where you would expect The Rock to slide on skateboard, +along moving chopper rotors, to pick up a girl that is dodging a lion on a +flag pole at the 200th floor of a building that is currently collapsing. + + -- xeno + -- Chat on Freenode’s ##programming +% +There's only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of +other people's cultures, and the Dutch. + + -- Mike Myers, and Michael McCullers + -- Austin Powers in Goldmember ( ) +% +The greatest threat to authors and creative artists is not piracy — it’s +obscurity. + + -- Tim O’Reilly + -- “Piracy is progressive taxation.” ( ) +% +Tech needs less wizards, ninjas, and rockstars, and way more sociologists. + + -- Noah Slater + -- Tweet ( https://twitter.com/nslater/status/545592700289155072 ) +% +At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD +format. PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it +such would be an insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is +an abysmal format. Having worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate +for PSD has grown to a raging fire that burns with the fierce passion of a +million suns. + +If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in +different places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would +think of, and do those too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for +instance, did it suddenly decide that *these* particular chunks should be +aligned to four bytes, and that this alignment should *not* be included in the +size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned, or aligned with the +alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included. Either one +of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD, of +course, uses all three, and more. + +Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the +attic of your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack +on his 58th birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes +of the simile, but at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing +fates for the people responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format. + +Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To +do this, I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them +consider sending me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a +copy of some document or other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine +that they make this process so difficult because they are intensely ashamed of +having created this abomination. I was naturally not gullible enough to go +through with this procedure, but if I had done so, I would have printed out +every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire. Were it within my +power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch them on a +spaceship directly into the sun. + +PSD is not my favourite file format. + + -- Greg Onufer + -- Xee’s source code ( ) +% +Stop reinventing wheels, start building space rockets. + + -- www.cpan.org + -- Motto of CPAN ( http://www.cpan.org/ ) +% +The key to making programs fast is to make them do practically nothing. + + -- Mike Haetel (the original author of GNU grep) + -- “Why GNU grep is fast” ( ) +% +“You may not work around any technical limitations in the software” + +— Windows Vista licence + + -- Microsoft + -- Windows Vista EULA ( http://arachnoid.com/boycott/ ) +% +Don’t use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic +expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity. + + -- Ultimate Giggles + -- Facebook Post ( ) +% +It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have lost at all. + + -- Samuel Butler (Unsourced) + -- Unknown +% +My latest personal project has a manual page, unit and integration tests, +Debian packaging, a CI project, and a home page. I can install it and run it. +It doesn’t yet do anything useful. + + -- Lars Wirzenius + -- New project? Start with the scaffolding ( ) +% +The cool thing about Vim is — you find something interesting with every typo. + + -- Su-Shee + -- Freenode’s #perl conversation +% +<<< + +I've never used Cucumber in anger, but I thought it was for creating testcases +that could be understood by non-technical clients, so you can concretely +discuss features. If you're writing a compiler then all your clients will be +programmers, so there's no need for such a thing. + +>>> + +Our clients are the parents, guardians, and teachers of children between the +ages of eight and twelve inclusive. + +The intent of Cucumber is to make readable testcases, just as the intent of +COBOL and AppleScript and visual component programming is to enable +non-programmers to create software without having to learn how to program. + + -- chromatic + -- Comment on “What Testing DSLs Get Wrong” ( ) +% +I achieved my fast times by multitudes of 1% reductions. + + -- Bill Raymond + -- Post to the Freecell Solver mailing list ( ) +% +I shall explain: *Monologue*: one person talking to himself ; *Dialogue*: like +Monologue - two people talking to themselves. + + -- Shaike Ophir + -- The English Teacher ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bpVrKm9QCc ) +% +"How can you trust an encyclopedia that everyone can edit?" How can you trust +an encyclopedia that no one can edit!! + + -- David Shay + -- Talk on an Israeli FOSS Conference +% +<<< + +<<< + +So what should I do to eliminate it? + +>>> + +Maybe Just Nothing + +The issue is that you can't special case get_current_coords to be truish, as +far as Devel::Cover is concerned - it might not be. + +Any fix that could be thought up is inherently problematic. + +Coverage reporting is not done for the pretty colors - a human reads it, and +says "OK, this is logical, get_current_coords always returns a true value". +It's not a race for greens and percentages. + +>>> + +While I agree coverage is not a race, I disagree that a human should have to +disambiguate between real missing coverage and a false negative. At least not +more than once. + +I'll make the same argument "no broken windows" argument here that I do about +warnings and tests: eliminate all warnings, even if they are dubious. Ensure +all tests pass eliminating all false negatives. Do not leave any "expected +warnings" or "expected failures" because this erodes the confidence in the +test suite. Warnings and test failures fail to ring alarm bells. One +"expected" warning leads to two. Then four. Then finally too many to remember +which are expected and which are not and you ignore them all together. + +The Pragmatic Programmer does a good job with this argument. +http://www.pragmaticprogrammer.com/ppbook/extracts/no_broken_windows.html + +So goes the same with coverage. Red should be a BAD color, something you do +not want to see. You want to eliminate the red. But sometimes its a false +negative. In that case there should be some way to tell the tool that it is, +in fact, a false negative. Just like skipping tests, you store the fact that +there is a false negative to make the red go away. Red remains a bad color and +seeing it means something is wrong. The team doesn't have to remember which +bits are expected to be uncovered and which are not. + +What's missing is a way to let Devel::Cover know that a bit of coverage is not +necessary. The first way to do this which pops into my mind is a comment. + +my $foo = $bar || default(); # DC ignore X|0 + +"Hey, Devel::Cover! Ignore the case where the right side of this logic is +false." + +Ignored conditions would be green, but perhaps a slightly different shade of +green so they can be spotted if you're looking for them. + + -- Michael G Schwern + -- Post to the Perl-QA mailing list ( ) +% +The Wise Janitor: Look, the thing that happened with Marty - it wasn't your +fault. + +The Wise Janitor: OK, it was your fault… + + -- Various Writers + -- Not Another Teen Movie ( ) +% +So, did I immediately launch into a furious whirl of coding up a brand-new +POP3 client to compete with the existing ones? Not on your life! I looked +carefully at the POP utilities I had in hand, asking myself ``Which one is +closest to what I want?'' Because: + +2. Good programmers know what to write. Great ones know what to rewrite (and +reuse). + +While I don't claim to be a great programmer, I try to imitate one. An +important trait of the great ones is constructive laziness. They know that you +get an A not for effort but for results, and that it's almost always easier to +start from a good partial solution than from nothing at all. + +Linus Torvalds, for example, didn't actually try to write Linux from scratch. +Instead, he started by reusing code and ideas from Minix, a tiny Unix-like +operating system for PC clones. Eventually all the Minix code went away or was +completely rewritten—but while it was there, it provided scaffolding for the +infant that would eventually become Linux. + + -- Eric Raymond + -- The Cathedral and the Bazaar ( ) +% +I recall a conversation where I told that in the comics HelpDex, the +protagonist has wondered whether God was a programmer and in what programming +language he wrote the universe. Then she had a dream where she heard God +saying "I will tell you in which language I wrote the universe: +Object-Oriented [COBOL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COBOL)!" at which point +the protagonist wakes up scared. + +Then, a different participant who had immigrated from the former Soviet Union +said that he was reminded of a story he read in a Soviet science magazine, +where God and his angels were technicians who kept changing the universe based +on how humans perceived it. Then during the 20th century, they had to +implement [subatomic +particles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subatomic_particle), [black +holes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_hole) and more, and fondly recalled +how they once took a [giant world +turtle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_turtle), put four elephants on +top, and called it a day + + -- Soviet magazine + -- Conversation +% +The word's "forgiveness", +look it up. +It's what Jesus has in store for you, +but I don't no matter what. + + -- Ashton Shepherd + -- “Look it Up” ( ) +% +<<< + +“They who saved one soul has saved the world Entire” + +>>> + +[Mishnah]() + +*Midrash:* + +It's fine to help, convince, inspire, etc. even only one person at a time. + + -- Jewish Mishnah + -- "He who sustains one soul" ( ) +% +"I've heard a Jew and a Muslim argue in a Damascus café with less passion than +the emacs wars." + +-- Ronald Florence in + + -- Ronald Florence + -- Debian Bug ( https://bugs.debian.org/cgi-bin/bugreport.cgi?bug=215884 ) +% +"Those who make a distinction between education and entertainment don't know +the first thing about either." + +- Marshall McLuhan (via "movement-sigs") + + -- Marshall McLuhan + -- Debian Bug ( https://bugs.debian.org/cgi-bin/bugreport.cgi?bug=215884 ) +% +The difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there is no +difference between theory and practice, while in practice, there is. + + -- Attributed to Yogi Berra and others + -- via fortune-mod ( https://github.com/shlomif/fortune-mod ) +% +There's the story of Mullah Nasruddin, who was asked why he never married and +answered, "I was looking for the perfect wife. I went to Damascus and met a +wonderful woman but she had no spiritual side. Then I went to Cairo and met a +woman who was deeply spiritual, but we didn't communicate well. I went from +place to place looking for the perfect woman, then finally I found her and she +was beautiful and spiritual and we communicated well. She was perfect." + +Then his friend asked why he didn’t marry her, and Mullah Nasruddin replied, +"Unfortunately, she was looking for the perfect man!". + + -- via "Nice Inspiration For Everyone" + -- Looking For The Perfect Wife ( ) +% +Of her charitable pursuits, she (= Sarah Michelle Gellar) says: + +<<< + +I started because my mother taught me a long time ago that even when you have +nothing, there's ways to give back. And what you get in return for that is +tenfold. But it was always hard because I couldn't do a lot. I couldn't do +much more than just donate money when I was on [Buffy] because there wasn't +time. And now that I have the time, it's amazing. + +>>> + + -- Sarah Michelle Gellar + -- Sarah Michelle Gellar as quoted on the English Wikipedia ( ) +% +"eta prapaganda, americanska, imperialistitstisca, capitalististisca" + + -- Lool + -- "Lool": "I am a woman" ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvebQE31oKw ) +% +Seems like these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three +were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, with the +usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost +again, decided to appeal to a higher authority. "Oh, God!" he cried. "I know +in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please show me a sign, so they +too will know that I understand Your laws." + +It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his plaint, a +storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and +dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three +disagreed, pointing out that stormclouds form on hot days. + +So he asked again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and +they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign." + +This time four stormclouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big +cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from the +rabbis. The cloud dispersed at once. "I told you I was right!" insisted the +loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not be +explained by natural causes. + +The insisting rabbi is all ready to ask for a *very big* sign when just as he +says "Oh God..." the sky turns pitch black, the earth shakes, and a deep, +booming voice intones, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!" + +The sky returns to normal. The one rabbi puts his hands on his hips and +snarls, "Well?" "Okay, okayyyy," replied another, "so now it's 3 to 2!" + + -- via fortune-mod + -- fortune ( ) +% +I had sex with my third cousin. My sister told me to stop counting. + + -- Trashlord + -- #perlcafe conversation. +% +There is a Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. +One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer's neighbors +sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, "Bad luck? +Good luck? Who knows?" A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses +from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his +good luck. His reply was, "Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?" + +Then, when the farmer's son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he +fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not +the farmer, whose only reaction was, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?" + +Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every +able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his +broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck? + +Who knows? + +Everything that seems on the surface to be an evil may be a good in disguise. +And everything that seems good on the surface may really be an evil. So we are +wise when we leave it to God to decide what is good fortune and what +misfortune, and thank him that all things turn out for good with those who +love him. + + -- Unknown + -- Web page ( http://www.naute.com/inspiration/luck.phtml ) +% +"Are we to understand," asked the judge, "that you hold your own interests +above the interests of the public?" + +"I hold that such a question can never arise except in a society of +cannibals." + + -- Ayn Rand + -- Atlas Shrugged ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlas_Shrugged ) +% +Basically, there were two sides to the world. There was the entire computer +games software industry engaged in a tremendous effort to stamp out piracy, +and there was Wobbler. Currently, Wobbler was in front. + + -- Terry Pratchett + -- Only You Can Save Mankind ( ) +% +Liberals target Christians instead of Muslims for the same reason that PETA +targets women wearing fur instead of biker gangs wearing leather… + +It's all about who it is easier to intimidate. + + -- Unknown + -- Captioned Image ( ) +% +Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build +bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce +bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. + + -- Rick Cook + -- The Wizardry Compiled (1989) ( https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Rick_Cook ) +% +[Verse 1] +Before last night I was down on my luck +There was nothing going my way +Before last night wasn't feelin' the love +No reason for a smile on my face +But I was always told you could turn it around +Do it for the light of day +So get yourself together, head out on the town +The music gets you feeling okay +Now I'm on a roll and I'm losing control, 'cause + +[Chorus] +I got that sunshine +It's like the world is mine +I can't deny I'm feelin' good (Feelin' good) +Can't stop from smiling, I'm bottled lightning +Oh, deep inside I'm feelin' good (Feelin' good) +All my heartbreak, my long and rainy days +Are gone and now I can't complain +Everything's alright, I'm feeling so alive +I can't deny I'm feelin' good, yeah + +[Verse 2] +I was so low on a Friday alone +No one even calling my phone +I looked in the mirror and I said to myself +Why am I still sitting at home? +Now I'm on a roll and I'm losing control, 'cause + +[Chorus] +I got that sunshine +It's like the world is mine +I can't deny I'm feelin' good (Feelin' good) +Can't stop from smiling, I'm bottled lightning +Oh, deep inside I'm feelin' good (Feelin' good) +All my heartbreak, my long and rainy days +Are gone and now I can't complain +Everything's alright, I'm feeling so alive +I can't deny I'm feelin' good, yeah + +[Bridge] +I got that sunshine, world is mine, I'm feelin' good +I feel it deep inside, can't deny I'm feelin' good +Everything's alright, so alive +I'm feelin' good, I'm feelin' good, I'm feelin' good +Hey, yeah + +[Chorus] +I got that sunshine +It's like the world is mine +I can't deny I'm feelin' good (Feelin' good) +Can't stop from smiling, I'm bottled lightning +Oh, deep inside I'm feelin' good (Feelin' good) +Yeah, all my heartbreak, my long and rainy days +Are gone and now I can't complain (No, no, I can't complain) +Everything's alright (Alright), I'm feeling so alive +I can't deny I'm + +[Chorus] +I got that sunshine +It's like the world is mine (Yeah) +I can't deny I'm feelin' good (Oh, I can't deny I'm feelin' good) +Can't stop from smiling (Smiling), I'm bottled lightning +Oh, deep inside I'm feelin' good, yeah +All my heartbreak, my long and rainy days +Are gone and now I can't complain (Yeah-yeah-yeah) +Everything's alright (Alright), I'm feeling so alive, yeah +I can't deny I'm feelin' good, yeah + + -- Christina Grimmie + -- “Feelin’ Good” ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYX8sjIzjGw ) +%