fortunes.py

fortunes = [
    '"... the educated person is not the person who can answer the questions, but\nthe person who can question the answers."\n        ― Theodore Schick Jr., in The_Skeptical_Inquirer, March/April, 1997\n',
    '\n"A little fire, Scarecrow?"\n',
    '\n"A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of\nbeing able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of\nincomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague\nassumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents\nand carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of\ndubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of\nannoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was\nunfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place."\n        ― IEEE Grid newsmagazine\n',
    '\n"Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing."\n',
    '\n"Anchovies? You\'ve got the wrong man! I spell my name DANGER! (click)"\n',
    '\n"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence."\n        ― Time Bandits\n',
    '\n"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds\nhimself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous\nresentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their\nignorance the hard way."\n        ― Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat\'s Cradle"\n',
    '\n"But I don\'t like Spam!"\n',
    '\n"But this has taken us far afield from interface, which is not a bad place\nto be, since I particularly want to move ahead to the kludge. Why do\npeople have so much trouble understanding the kludge? What is a kludge,\nafter all, but not enough Ks, not enough ROMs, not enough RAMs, poor\nquality interface and too few bytes to go around? Have I explained yet\nabout the bytes?"\n',
    '\n"Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle."\n        ― Alice Roosevelt Longworth\n',
    '\n"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be; and\nif it were so, it would be; but as it isn\'t, it ain\'t. That\'s logic!"\n        ― Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"\n',
    '\n"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple\nand so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and\nbecause good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be\nmore destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our\nentire intellectual heritage ― good teaching ― than a bill forcing\nhonorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment\nto a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any\ngeneral understanding of science as an enterprise?\n        ― Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer", Vol. 12, page 186\n',
    '\n"Deep" is a word like "theory" or "semantic" ― it implies all sorts of\nmarvelous things. It\'s one thing to be able to say "I\'ve got a theory",\nquite another to say "I\'ve got a semantic theory", but, ah, those who can\nclaim "I\'ve got a deep semantic theory", they are truly blessed.\n        ― Randy Davis\n',
    '\n"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."\n',
    '\n"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a\nconventional thing to happen to him."\n        ― John Barrymore\'s dying words\n',
    '\n"Do not stop to ask what is it;\n Let us go and make our visit."\n        ― T. S. Eliot, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"\n',
    '\n"Do you have blacks, too?"\n        ― George W. Bush, to Brazilian president Fernando Cardoso;\n           Washington, D.C., November 8, 2001\n',
    '\n"Don\'t let your mouth write no check that your tail can\'t cash."\n        ― Bo Diddley\n',
    '\n"Don\'t say yes until I finish talking."\n        ― Darryl F. Zanuck\n',
    '\n"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."\n',
    '\n"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."\n        ― Jeff Berner\n',
    '\n"Even the best of friends cannot attend each other\'s funeral."\n        ― Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"\n',
    '\n"Every time I think I know where it\'s at, they move it."\n',
    '\n"Grub first, then ethics."\n        ― Bertolt Brecht\n',
    '\n"He didn\'t say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech."\n        ― Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush\n           wasn\'t following up on his campaign pledge that there would be\n           no loss of wetlands\n',
    '\n"He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes..."\n',
    '\n"He\'s the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..."\n',
    '\n"His mind is like a steel trap ― full of mice."\n        ― Foghorn Leghorn\n',
    '\n"Humor is a drug which it\'s the fashion to abuse."\n        ― William Gilbert\n',
    '\n"I am not an Economist. I am an honest man!"\n        ― Paul McCracken\n',
    '\n"I am not sure what this is, but an `F\' would only dignify it."\n        ― English Professor\n',
    '\n"I didn\'t accept it. I received it."\n        ― Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan,\n           explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by\n           two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private\n           interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.\n',
    '\n"I don\'t care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating."\n        ― Boss Tweed\n',
    '\n"I don\'t have any solution but I certainly admire the problem."\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n',
    '\n"I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked\nat in the right way, did not become still more complicated."\n        ― Paul Anderson\n',
    '\n"I just need enough to tide me over until I need more."\n        ― Bill Hoest\n',
    '\n"I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent."\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n',
    '\n"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially\nmembers of the House and members of the Senate."\n        ― former Vice-President Dan Quayle\n',
    '\n"I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes."\n        ― President Richard Nixon\n',
    '\n"I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous."\n',
    '\n"If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for television?"\n',
    '\n"If the King\'s English was good enough for Jesus, it\'s good enough for me!"\n        ― "Ma" Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)\n',
    '\n"If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars."\n        ― J. Paul Getty\n',
    '\n"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is\nmake the rubble bounce."\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    '\n"In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable."\n        ― Winston Churchill, of Montgomery\n',
    '\n"It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out.\nThey had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their\nheads in a nodding position."\n        ― John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information,\n           responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission\n           inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were\n           sleeping on the job.\n',
    '\n"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is\nlightly greased."\n        ― Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"\n',
    '\n"It was hell," recalls former child.\n        ― caption to a B. Kliban cartoon\n',
    '\n"It\'s bad luck to be superstitious."\n        ― Andrew W. Mathis\n',
    '\n"It\'s not Camelot, but it\'s not Cleveland, either."\n        ― Kevin White, mayor of Boston\n',
    '\n"Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn\'t immune\n to bullets"\n        ― The Brigader, "Dr. Who"\n',
    '\n"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."\n        ― Victor Borge\n',
    '\n"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into\nthe smallest amount of thoughts."\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    '\n"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."\n        ― Lily Tomlin\n',
    '\n"Mate, this parrot wouldn\'t VOOM if you put four million volts through it!"\n',
    '\n"Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you\nout of Casablanca and the Germans have outlawed miracles."\n',
    '\n"Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong."\n',
    '\n"Of COURSE it\'s the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake?"\n', '\n"One planet is all you get."\n',
    '\n"She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to."\n        ― Gypsy Rose Lee\n',
    '\n"Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have\ntaken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an\nexcess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature."\n        ― Samuel Johnson\n',
    '\n"Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly."\n',
    '\n"Sure, it\'s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something\nelse anyway."\n        ― Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane\n',
    '\n"Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even\none which cannot be justified on any other grounds."\n        ― J. Finnegan, USC.\n',
    '\n"That must be wonderful! I don\'t understand it at all."\n',
    '\n"The C Programming Language: A language which combines the flexibility of\nassembly language with the power of assembly language."\n',
    '\n"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as\nwe could with both of them."\n        ― Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"\n',
    '\nThe bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch.\n',
    '\n"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell\ninto the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him\nout again, it would be a calamity."\n        ― Benjamin Disraeli\n',
    "\nThe brain is a beautifully engineered get-out-of-the-way machine that\nconstantly scans the environment for things out of whose way it should\nright now get. That's what brains did for several hundred million years ―\nand then, just a few million years ago, the mammalian brain learned a new\ntrick: to predict the timing and location of dangers before they actually\nhappened.\n\nOur ability to duck that which is not yet coming is one of the brain's most\nstunning innovations, and we wouldn't have dental floss or 401(k) plans\nwithout it. But this innovation is in the early stages of development. The\napplication that allows us to respond to visible baseballs is ancient and\nreliable, but the add-on utility that allows us to respond to threats that\nloom in an unseen future is still in beta testing.\n        ― Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University,\n           in an op-ed piece in the Los Angeles Times; 6 July, 2006\n",
    '\n"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer."\n        ― Henry Kissinger\n',
    '\n"The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and\ntolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exaulted activity will\nhave neither good plumbing nor good philosophy ... neither its pipes nor\nits theories will hold water."\n',
    '\n"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you\'ll have to catch up!"\n',
    '\n"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It\'s only the people who\nmake them unsafe."\n        ― the late Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and ex- mayor of\n           Philadelphia\n',
    '\nThe voters have spoken, the bastards...\n',
    '\n"The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity\nthat would be clearly understood."\n        ― Alexander Haig\n',
    '\nThe way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start\nwith a large fortune.\n',
    '\n"There are three possibilities: Pioneer\'s solar panel has turned away\nfrom the sun; there\'s a large meteor blocking transmission; or someone\nloaded Star Trek 3.2 into our video processor."\n',
    '\n"There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the\nother is to read Pope."\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\n"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."\n        ― C. S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia\n',
    '\n"They gave me a book of checks. They didn\'t ask for any deposits."\n        ― Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer\n           questions about the House Bank scandal.\n',
    '\nThis is a country where people are free to practice their religion,\nregardless of race, creed, color, obesity, or number of dangling keys...\n',
    '\n"To YOU I\'m an atheist; to God, I\'m the Loyal Opposition."\n        ― Woody Allen\n',
    '\nTo vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question ... or is it?\n',
    '\n"Tom Hayden is the kind of politician who gives opportunism a bad name."\n        ― Gore Vidal\n',
    '\n"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, it\'s just the opposite."\n        ― John Kenneth Galbraith\n',
    '\n"We don\'t care. We don\'t have to. We\'re the Phone Company."\n',
    '\n"We don\'t have to protect the environment ― the Second Coming is at hand."\n        ― James Watt\n',
    '\n"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his\nhands for masturbation."\n        ― Lily Tomlin\n',
    '\n"We\'ll cross out that bridge when we come back to it later."\n',
    '\n"Well, if you can\'t believe what you read in a comic book, what CAN\nyou believe?!"\n        ― Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward]\n',
    '\n"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?"\n        ― Bertold Brecht\n',
    '\n"When the going gets tough, the tough get empirical."\n        ― Jon Carroll\n',
    '\n"When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite."\n        ― Winston Churchill, on formal declarations of war\n',
    '\n"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked. "Begin at the\nbeginning," the King said, gravely, "and go on till you come to the end:\nthen stop."\n        ― Alice\'s Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll\n',
    '\n"Why be a man, when you can be a success?"\n        ― Bertold Brecht\n',
    '\n"Why isn\'t there a special name for the tops of your feet?"\n        ― Lily Tomlin\n',
    '\n"Why was I born with such contemporaries?"\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\n"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"\n\n"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.\n        ― Lewis Carrol\n',
    '\n"Yacc" owes much to a most stimulating collection of users, who have goaded\nme beyond my inclination, and frequently beyond my ability in their endless\nsearch for "one more feature". Their irritating unwillingness to learn how\nto do things my way has usually led to my doing things their way; most of\nthe time, they have been right.\n        ― S. C. Johnson, "Yacc guide acknowledgements"\n',
    '\n"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the\nWhite House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."\n        ― Woody Allen, "Sleeper"\n',
    '\n"Yes, well, that\'s just the sort of blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance I\'ve\ncome to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome\nspotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker\'s cuss for the\nstruggling artist, you excrement! You whining, hypocritical toadies with your\nTony Jacklin golf clubs, your colour TVs and your bleedin\' Masonic handshakes!\nYou wouldn\'t let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards?! WELL I\nWOULDN\'T BECOME A FREEMASON NOW IF YOU GOT DOWN ON YOUR LOUSY STINKING KNEES\nAND BEGGED ME!"\n',
    '\n"You can\'t teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don\'t."\n        ― Dagwood Bumstead\n',
    '\n"You\'ll never be the man your mother was!"\n', '\n$100 invested at 7',
    ' interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at\nwhich time it will be worth absolutely nothing.\n        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"\n',
    "\n'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability.\n        ― George Bernard Shaw\n",
    "\n'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.\n        ― Alfred, Lord Tennyson\n",
    '\n[Humanity] is the measure of all things.\n        ― Protagoras\n',
    "\n... And malt does more than Milton can/To justify God's ways to man\n        ― A. E. Housman\n",
    '\nAn infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders\na beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The\nbartender says "You\'re all idiots", and pours two beers.\n',
    "\nAny code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months\nmight as well have been written by someone else.\n        ― Eagleson's Law\n",
    '\nAny resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.\n',
    '\n... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand. Human\nintellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as we\ncan tell. If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues that now\nseem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding of their\nworld, not in their distorted perceptions. Even the standard example of\nancient nonsense ― the debate about angels on pinheads ― makes sense once\nyou realize that theologians were not discussing whether five or eighteen\nwould fit, but whether a pin could house a finite or an infinite number.\n        ― S. J. Gould, "Wide Hats and Narrow Minds"\n',
    "\n... Fortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of\nthe person making the claim, not the critic. It is not the responsibility\nof UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the\nresponsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals\nor colored lights never healed anyone. The skeptic's role is to point out\nclaims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidence and to\nprovide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with\nthe accepted body of scientific evidence. ...\n        ― Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, pg. 215\n",
    '\n... Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror,\nand you would not have been informed.\n',
    '\n... The book is worth attention for only two reasons: (1) it attacks\nattempts to expose sham paranormal studies; and (2) it is very well and\nplausibly written and so rather harder to dismiss or refute by simple\njeering.\n        ― Harry Eagar, reviewing "Beyond the Quantum" by Michael Talbot,\n           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 200-201\n',
    '\nThe first principle is that you must not fool yourself―and you are the\neasiest person to fool. So you have to be very careful about that. After\nyou\'ve not fooled yourself, it\'s easy not to fool other scientists. You\njust have to be honest in a conventional way after that.\n        ― R. P. Feynman, "Cargo Cult Science"\n',
    "\n... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.\n        ― J. B. White\n",
    '\n... if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust,\nthis would be a better world.\n        ― Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days"\n',
    '\n... the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost would never throw the Devil out\nof Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge.\n        ― Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19\n',
    '\n... they [the Indians] are not running but are coming on.\n        ― note sent from Lt. Col Custer to other officers\n           of the 7th Regiment at the Little Bighorn\n',
    '\n...I would go so far as to suggest that, were it not for our ego and\nconcern to be different, the African apes would be included in our family,\nthe Hominidae.\n        ― Richard Leakey\n',
    '\n... It is sad to find him belaboring the science community for its united\nopposition to ignorant creationists who want teachers and textbooks to give\nequal time to crank arguments that have advanced not a step beyond the\nflyblown rhetoric of Bishop Wilberforce and William Jennings Bryan.\n        ― Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life",\n           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 128-131\n',
    '\n...computer hardware progress is so fast. No other technology since\ncivilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price\ngain in 30 years.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    '\n...difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects\nperform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity\nattainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the\nintroduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;\nyet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson, "Notes on Virginia"\n',
    '\n...it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the\nexistence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great\nsystems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative\nhypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.\n        ― Sidney Hook\n',
    '\n...skill such as yours is evidence of a misspent youth.\n        ― Herbert Spencer\n',
    '\n...the increased productivity fostered by a friendly environment and quality\ntools is essential to meet ever increasing demands for software.\n        ― M. D. McIlroy, E. N. Pinson and B. A. Tague\n',
    '\n...there can be no public or private virtue unless the foundation of action is\nthe practice of truth.\n        ― George Jacob Holyoake\n',
    '\n...this is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six\nmillion hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch."\n        ― The Firesign Theater\n',
    '\n...though his invention worked superbly ― his theory was a crock of sewage\nfrom beginning to end.\n        ― Vernor Vinge, "The Peace War"\n',
    '\n...when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer has\nbeen known to abandon the desktop for the more spacious floor.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    '\n/earth is 98', ' full ... please delete anyone you can.\n', '\n10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.\n',
    '\n36 percent of the American public believes that boiling radioactive milk\nmakes it safe to drink.\n        ― results of a survey by Jon Miller at Northern Illinois University\n',
    '\n43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr\nfortune: Segmentation fault ― core dumped\n',
    '\n80 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot, including this one.\n', '\n99',
    ' of all guys are within one standard deviation of your mom.\n',
    '\nA LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.\n',
    '\nA bore is a man you deprives you of solitude without providing you with\ncompany.\n        ― Gian Vincenzo Gravina\n',
    '\nA Nixon [is preferable to] a Dean Rusk ― who will be passionately\nwrong with a high sense of consistency.\n        ― J. K. Galbraith\n',
    '\nA Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone somewhere is\nhaving fun.\n',
    '\nA baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no\nresponsibility at the other.\n',
    '\nA bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman\nout of a divorce.\n        ― Don Quinn\n',
    '\nA billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.\n        ― Everett Dirksen\n',
    '\nA bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have\nenlightened him with ours.\n',
    '\nA budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as\nafterward.\n',
    '\nA candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the\npoor to protect them from each other.\n',
    '\nA celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.\n',
    "\nA child's education should begin at least 100 years before he is born.\n        ― Oliver Wendell Holmes\n",
    '\nA city is a large community where people are lonesome together.\n        ― Herbert Prochnow\n',
    '\nA clash of doctrine is not a disaster ― it is an opportunity.\n', '\nA closed mouth gathers no foot.\n',
    '\nA conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.\n',
    '\nA conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing,\nbut together can decide that nothing can be done.\n        ― Fred Allen\n',
    '\nA conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for\nthe first time.\n        ― Alfred E. Wiggam\n',
    '\nA conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never\nlearned to walk.\n        ― Franklin D. Roosevelt\n',
    '\nA conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.\n',
    '\nA countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.\n        ― Ben Franklin\n',
    '\nA critic is a legless man who teaches running.\n        ― Channing Pollock\n',
    '\nA day without sunshine is like night.\n',
    '\nA decision occurs when one abandons the obvious for the possible.\n        ― P. Taylor\n',
    "\nA diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.\n",
    '\nA diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you\nwill look forward to the trip.\n        ― Caskie Stinnett\n',
    "\nA diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age.\n        ― Robert Frost\n",
    '\nA diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...\n',
    '\nA door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.\n        ― Ogden Nash\n',
    '\nA famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox\n1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to\nhelp, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network with the mouse,\nand asked "what do you see?" Very earnestly, the Undergraduate replied "I\nsee a cursor." The Hacker then quickly pressed the boot toggle at the back\nof the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting the Undergraduate over the\nhead with a thick Interlisp Manual. The Undergraduate was then Enlightened.\n',
    "\nA fanatic is a person who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.\n        ― Winston Churchill\n",
    '\nA fool must now and then be right by chance.\n',
    "\nA fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into\nsuperstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.\n        ― G. B. Shaw\n",
    '\nA foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.\n        ― Samuel Johnson\n',
    '\nA formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.\n        ― D. Gries\n',
    '\nA good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows\nsomething.\n        ― Wilson Mizner\n',
    '\nA good memory does not equal pale ink.\n', '\nA good workman is known by his tools.\n',
    '\nA great many people think they are thinking when they are merely\nrearranging their prejudices.\n        ― William James\n',
    '\nA handful of friends is worth more than a wagon of gold.\n',
    "\nA healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his weight\nin other people's patience.\n        ― John Updike\n",
    '\nA hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.\n',
    '\nA journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.\n', "\nA king's castle is his home.\n",
    '\nA lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.\n',
    "\nA language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is\nnot worth knowing.\n",
    "\nA language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program\nin than some that do.\n        ― Dennis M. Ritchie\n",
    '\nA large number of installed systems work by fiat. That is, they work\nby being declared to work.\n        ― Anatol Holt\n',
    '\nA learning experience is one of those things that says, "You know that\nthing you just did? Don\'t do that."\n        ― attributed to Douglas Adams\n',
    '\nA little caution outflanks a large cavalry.\n        ― Bismarck\n',
    '\nA little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems\nhave been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects,\nthose software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are\nthe products of one or a few designing minds, great designers. Consider Unix,\nAPL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them\nwith Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    '\nA lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I\nbelieve everything positively stinks.\n        ― Lew Col\n',
    '\nA man forgives only when he is in the wrong.\n',
    '\nA man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.\n        ― John Barrymore\n',
    '\nA man paints with his brains and not with his hands.\n',
    '\nA man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!"\n\n"However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a\nsense of obligation."\n        ― Stephen Crane\n',
    '\nA man shall never be enriched by envy.\n        ― Thomas Draxe\n',
    '\nA man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.\n',
    '\nA man who turns green has eschewed protein.\n', '\nA man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.\n',
    '\nA manager would rather live with a problem that he cannot solve than\naccept a solution that he does not understand.\n        ― G. Woolsey\n',
    '\nA mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.\n',
    "\nA mathematician named Hall\nHas a hexahedronical ball,\n        And the cube of its weight\n        Times his pecker's, plus eight\nIs his phone number ― give him a call.\n",
    '\nA model is an artifice for helping you convince yourself that you\nunderstand more about a system than you do.\n',
    '\nA moose once bit my sister.\n',
    '\nA morsel of genuine history is a thing so rare as to be always valuable.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nA nuclear war can ruin your whole day.\n', '\nA nymph hits you and steals your virginity.\n',
    '\nA penny saved is ridiculous.\n', '\nA person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.\n',
    '\nA person who knows only one side of a question knows little of that.\n',
    '\nA person with one watch knows what time it is; a person with two watches is\nnever sure.  Proverb\n',
    "\nA physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.\n        ― George Wald\n",
    "\nA plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.\n", "\nA professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.\n",
    '\nA psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that\nyour wife will give you for free.\n',
    '\nA quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle\nunless there be two.\n        ― Seneca\n',
    '\nA real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices\nthat the system works.\n',
    '\nA real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and\nthe real reason.\n',
    '\nA recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen\nobjects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer\nscientists. Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added\nconcentration needed to "make sense" of such unnatural three\ndimensional objects ...\n',
    "\nA right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.\n        ― Ramsey Clark\n",
    '\nA scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following\na big schmuck dressed like a kid.\n        - Jack Benny\n',
    '\nA second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.\n        ― Samuel Johnson\n',
    '\nA sine curve goes off into infinity or at least to the end of the blackboard.\n',
    '\nA smile is the shortest distance between two people.\n        ― Victor Borge\n',
    "\nA straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.\n        ― O'Henry\n",
    '\nA student who changes the course of history is probably taking an\nexam.\n',
    '\nA successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by\nits author.\n        ― S. C. Johnson\n',
    '\nA thing is worth precisely what it can do for you, not what you choose to\npay for it.\n        ― John Ruskin\n',
    '\nA total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention,\nand especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nA truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.\n',
    '\nA university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest\nin students.\n        ― John Ciardi\n',
    '\nA vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature\nreplaces it with.\n        ― Tenessee Williams\n',
    '\nA visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.\n', '\nA visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.\n',
    '\nA well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without\ngetting nervous.\n',
    '\nA well-known friend is a treasure.\n', '\nA witty saying proves nothing.\n        ― Voltaire\n',
    '\nA woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.\n',
    '\nA year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.\n',
    '\nAda, n.: Something you need only know the name of to be an Expert in\ncomputing. Useful in sentences like, "We had better develop an Ada\nawareness."\n',
    '\nAbandon hope, all ye who press "ENTER" here.\n',
    '\nAbility is useless unless it is used.\n        ― Robert Half\n',
    '\nAbout all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.\n',
    '\nAbout the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.\n',
    '\nAbout the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.\n        ― Herbert Hoover\n',
    '\nAbove all things, reverence yourself.\n', '\nAbstention makes the heart grow fonder.\n',
    '\nAbsurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one\'s own\nopinion.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nAccident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of\nbody is better.\n',
    '\nAccording to my best recollection, I don\'t remember.\n        ― Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo\n',
    '\nAccording to the latest official figures, 43', ' of all statistics are totally\nworthless.\n',
    "\nAccording to my scuba instructor, if a shark attacks, you're supposed to\npoke it in the eye with your finger. After that, I suppose you should hit\nit in the face with a cream pie, or maybe hose it down with a seltzer bottle.\n        ― Jerry L. Embry\n",
    '\nAccordion: A bagpipe with pleats.\n', '\nAccuracy: The vice of being right.\n',
    '\nAcquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not\nwell enough to lend to.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nActing is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.\n',
    "\nActivity makes more men's fortunes than cautiousness.\n        ― Marquis de Vauvenargues\n",
    '\nActors will happen in the best-regulated families.\n',
    '\nAda is the work of an architect, not a computer scientist.\n        ― Jean Ichbiah, inventor of Ada, weenie\n',
    '\nAdapt. Enjoy. Survive.\n',
    '\nAdde parvum parvo magnus acervus erit.\n[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]\n        ― Ovid\n',
    '\nAdmiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another\'s resemblance to ourselves.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nAdolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.\n',
    '\nAdore, v.: To venerate expectantly.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nAdult: One old enough to know better.\n',
    '\nAdversity makes men, prosperity monsters.\n        ― French Proverb\n',
    '\nAdvertisement: The most truthful part of a newspaper.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nAdvertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to\nget money from it.\n        ― Stephen Leacock\n',
    "\nAfter Goliath's defeat, giants ceased to command respect.\n        ― Freeman Dyson\n",
    '\nAfter a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.\n',
    '\nAfter all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.\n',
    "\nAfter all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not\nfor you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have\nsimply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.\n        ― P. J. O'Rourke\n",
    '\nAfter any machine or unit has been assembled, extra components will be\nfound on the bench.\n        ― "Industry at Work," Oilways, n2., 1972, pp. 16-17. Humble Oil\n           & Refining Company., Houston, TX\n',
    '\nAfter the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover,\nit will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.\n',
    '\nAfter winning the pennant one year, Casey Stengel commented, "I couldn\'ta\ndone it without my players."\n',
    '\nAir is water with holes in it.\n',
    '\nAlas, I am dying beyond my means.\n        ― Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed\n',
    '\nAlbert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire\ntelegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New\nYork and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And\nradio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive\nthem there. The only difference is that there is no cat."\n',
    '\nAlexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting for a\ndial tone.\n',
    '\nAlimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.\n',
    '\nAlimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of\nthem keeps paying for it.\n        ― Peggy Joyce\n',
    "\nAll I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.\n",
    '\nAll I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.\n',
    "\nAll I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,\nya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.\n        ― Kingfish\n",
    '\nAll a hacker needs is a tight PUSHJ, a loose pair of UUOs, and a warm\nplace to shift.\n',
    '\nAll great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.\n',
    '\nAll happy families resemble one another, each unhappy in its own way.\n        ― Tolstoy\n',
    "\nAll in all it's just another brick in the wall.\n",
    '\nAll my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.\n        ― Jane Wagner\n',
    '\nAll programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts\nthose who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers. Perhaps the hundreds\nof nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually focus on the end\ngoal. Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger,\nand the young are always optimists. But however the selection process works,\nthe result is indisputable: "This time it will surely run," or "I just found\nthe last bug."\n        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month\n',
    '\nAll programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.\n',
    '\nAll progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of\nevery organism to live beyond its income.\n        ― Samuel Butler\n',
    '\nAll science is either physics or stamp collecting.\n        ― E. Rutherford\n',
    '\nAll that glitters has a high refractive index.\n',
    "\nAll the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.\n        ― Sean O'Casey\n",
    '\nAll things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.\n',
    '\nAll through human history, tyrannies have tried to enforce obedience by\nprohibiting disrespect for the symbols of their power. The swastika is\nonly one example of many in recent history.\n        ― American Bar Association task force on flag burning\n',
    '\nAll true wisdom is found on T-shirts.\n', '\nAll wise men share one trait in common: the ability to listen.\n',
    "\nAllen's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.\n",
    '\nAlliance, n.: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have\ntheir hands so deeply inserted in each other\'s pocket that they cannot\nseparately plunder a third.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nAlthough every American has a sense of humor―it is his birthright and\nencoded somewhere in the Constitution―few Americans have never been able to\ncope with wit or irony, and even the simplest jokes often cause unease,\nespecially today when every phrase must be examined for covert sexism,\nracism, ageism.\n        ― Gore Vidal, "The Essential Mencken," The Nation,\n           August 26/September 2, 1991.\n',
    "\nAlways borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.\n",
    '\nAlways make the audience suffer as much as possible.\n        ― Alfred Hitchcock \n',
    '\nAmbidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a\nleft.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nAmbition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.\n        ― Charlie McCarthy\n',
    '\nAmerica had often been discovered before Columbus; it had just been hushed up.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    "\nAmerica's best buy for a quarter is a telephone call to the right man.\n",
    '\nAmerica, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?\n        ― Allen Ginsberg\n',
    "\nAmerican Non Sequitur Society: We don't make sense. We like pizza.\n",
    '\nAmnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.\n', '\nAmong the chosen, you are the lucky one.\n',
    '\nAmong the lucky, you are the chosen one.\n',
    "\nAn American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the President but\nis always polite to traffic cops.\n",
    '\nAn Army travels on its stomach.\n',
    '\nAn Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.\n        ― A. P. Herbert\n',
    '\nAn economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.\n        ― Alfred A. Knopf\n',
    '\nAn effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.\n',
    '\nAn elephant is a mouse with an operating system.\n',
    '\nAn idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.\n', '\nAn idle mind is worth two in the bush.\n',
    '\nAn intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.\n        ― Albert Camus\n',
    '\nAn NT server can be run by an idiot, and usually is.\n        - Tom Holub <doosh@best.com>\n          (Posted to comp.infosystems.www.servers.unix on 03 Sep 1997)\n',
    '\nAn object never serves the same function as its image―or its name.\n        ― Rene Magritte\n',
    '\nAn ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.\n        ― Benjamin Franklin\n',
    "\nAnarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no\ngovernment at all.\n",
    "\nAnarchy: It's not the law, it's just a good idea.\n", '\nAnd I alone am returned to wag the tail.\n',
    '\nAnd now for something completely different.\n',
    '\nAnd now that the legislators and the do-gooders have so futilely inflicted\nso many systems upon society, may they end up where they should have begun:\nmay they reject all systems, and try liberty...\n        ― Frederic Bastiat\n',
    '\nAnd on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.\n',
    '\nAnd the Lord God said unto Moses ― and correctly, I believe ...\n        ― Field Marshal Montgomery, opening a chapel service\n',
    '\nAnd the crowd was stilled. One elderly man, wondering at the sudden silence,\nturned to the Child and asked him to repeat what he had said. Wide-eyed,\nthe Child raised his voice and said once again, "Why, the Emperor has no\nclothes! He is naked!"\n        ― "The Emperor\'s New Clothes"\n',
    "\nAnd there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.\n",
    '\nAnd they told us, what they wanted...\nWas a sound that could kill some-one, from a distance.\n        ― Kate Bush\n',
    '\nAnd this is a table ma\'am. What in essence it consists of is a horizontal\nrectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports,\nwhich we call legs. The tables in this laboratory, ma\'am, are as advanced\nin design as one will find anywhere in the world.\n        ― Michael Frayn, "The Tin Men"\n',
    "\nAnd thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that\ncometh out of man, in their sight...Then he [the Lord!] said unto me, Lo, I\nhave given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread\ntherewith. [Ezek. 4:12-15 (KJV)]\n",
    '\nAnger is a prelude to courage.\n        ― Eric Hoffer\n', '\nAngular momentum makes the world go round.\n',
    '\nAnkh if you love Isis.\n',
    '\nAnoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently\nslippery.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nAnother good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.\n', '\nAnother one bites the dust.\n',
    "\nAnthony's Law of Force: Do not force it; get a larger hammer.\n",
    "\nAnthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped, will roll into the\n    least accessible corner of the workshop.\nCorollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike\n    your toes.\n",
    "\nAntimatter doesn't matter as a matter of fact.\n        ― Piggins\n",
    '\nAntiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur\nad necem. (In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on\nwindswept crags.)\n',
    "\nAntonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.\n",
    '\nAny clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.\n        ― Charles McCabe\n',
    '\nAny excuse will serve a tyrant.\n        ― Aesop\n',
    '\nAny fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.\n',
    '\nAny fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to\nsell it.\n',
    '\nAny given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.\n',
    '\nAny job worth quitting is worth sticking around long enough until they\nfire you.\n        ― Tim Wirth\n',
    '\nAny medium powerful enough to extend man\'s reach is powerful enough to topple\nhis world. To get the medium\'s magic to work for one\'s aims rather than\nagainst them is to attain literacy.\n        ― Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984\n',
    '\nAny shrine is better than self-worship.\n',
    '\nAny small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a\nlarger object.\n',
    '\nAny small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.\n',
    '\nAny smoothly functioning technology will have the appearance of magic.\n        ― Arthur C. Clarke\n',
    '\nAny sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.\n',
    '\nAny sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.\n        ― Paul Chvostek by way of Arthur C. Clarke (via John Ripley)\n',
    '\nAny sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.\n        ― Andy Finkel, computer guy\n',
    '\nAny sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.\n        ― Arthur C. Clarke\n',
    '\nAny two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.\n        ― Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.\n',
    '\nAnybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.\n',
    '\nAnyone can hate. It costs to love.\n        ― John Williamson\n',
    '\nAnyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.\n        ― Publilius Syrus\n',
    '\nAnyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a\ntolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not make messes\nin the house.\n        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"\n',
    '\nAnyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think,\nrecognize that the domination of education or of government by any one\nparticular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.\n        ― Eleanor Roosevelt\n',
    '\nAnyone who wants to be paid for writing software is a fascist asshole.\n        ― Richard M. Stallman, founder, Free Software Foundation\n',
    '\nAnything anybody can say about America is true.\n        ― Emmett Grogan\n',
    '\nAnything free is worth what you pay for it.\n',
    "\nAnything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.\n",
    '\nAnything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn\'t. The label means the\nprice went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW"\nmeans the price went way up.\n',
    '\nAnything worth doing is worth overdoing\n',
    '\nAnytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.\n',
    "\nArbolist . . . Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway,\nit's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees.\n        ― George W. Bush, quoted in USA Today; August 21, 2001\n",
    '\nAre we not men?\n', '\nAre you a turtle?\n',
    '\nArithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.\n        ― Mickey Mouse\n',
    '\nArmadillo: To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle\n',
    '\narmy, n.: A body of men assembled to rectify the mistakes of the diplomats.\n        ― Josephus Daniels\n',
    '\nArmy Axiom: An order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.\n',
    "\nArnold's Laws of Documentation:\n    (1) If it should exist, it doesn't.\n    (2) If it does exist, it's out of date.\n    (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.\n",
    '\nArt is parasitic on life, just as criticism is parasitic on art.\n        ― Harry S Truman (one of his more ridiculous comments)\n',
    '\nAs Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free variable."\n',
    '\nAs Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."\n',
    '\nAs far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.\n        ― Weisert\n',
    '\nAs goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.\n',
    '\nAs long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?\n',
    '\nAs long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination.\nWhen it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nAs regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, for the\nactive power of the male seed tends to the production of a perfect likeness in\nthe masculine sex; while the production of a woman comes from defect in the\nactive power.\n        ― Thomas Aquinas, prominent historical misogynist\n',
    "\nAs soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't\nas easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be\ndiscovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large\npart of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in\nmy own programs.\n        ― Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949\n",
    '\nAs the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" ― probably because it\'s\nso hard to figure out how to get the bark on.\n        ― Woody Allen\n',
    '\nAs the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,\nbearing hot new versions of their pieces ― faster, smaller, more complete,\nor putatively less buggy. The replacement of a working component by a new\nversion requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new\ncomponent does, although it should require less time, for more complete and\nefficient test cases will usually be available.\n        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"\n',
    '\nAs the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there\nis always a future in Computer Maintenance.\n        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"\n',
    '\nAs to Jesus of Nazareth...I think the system of Morals and his Religion,\nas he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;\nbut I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have,\nwith most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his\ndivinity.\n        ― Benjamin Franklin\n',
    '\nAs with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple\nmemory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time\nto order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A,\nE, or U is the proper time for chocolate.\n        ― Sandra Boynton, "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"\n',
    '\nAs you read the scroll it vanishes,\nand you hear maniacal laughter in the distance.\n',
    "\nAshes to ashes, dust to dust, If God won't have you, the devil must.\n",
    '\nAsk not for whom the telephone bell tolls ... if thou art in the bathtub,\nit tolls for thee.\n',
    '\nAsk your boss to reconsider ― it\'s so difficult to take "Go to hell"\nfor an answer.\n',
    '\nAssuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained control of the\ncountry, it would probably fly around in circles.\n        ― Pat Paulsen\n',
    '\nAt Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial\nchallenge roughly comparable to herding cats.\n        ― The Washington Post Magazine, June 9, 1985\n',
    '\nAt a recent meeting in Snowmass, Colorado, a participant from Los Angeles\nfainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head under the\nexhaust of a bus until he revived.\n',
    '\nAt first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on\nthe creative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is\nquite untrue in practice. Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather\nthan blinkers it.\n        ― G. L. Glegg, The Design of Design\n',
    '\nAt the heart of science is an essential tension between two seemingly\ncontradictory attitudes ― an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre\nor counterintuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny\nof all ideas, old and new. This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep\nnonsense. Of course, scientists make mistakes in trying to understand the\nworld, but there is a built-in error-correcting mechanism: The collective\nenterprise of creative thinking and skeptical thinking together keeps the\nfield on track.\n        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade,\n           February 1, 1987\n',
    '\nAt the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will\nfind at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on\nthe computer.\n',
    '\nAthens built the Acropolis. Corinth was a commercial city, interested in\npurely materialistic things. Today we admire Athens, visit it, preserve the\nold temples, yet we hardly ever set foot in Corinth.\n        ― Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry\n',
    '\nAtlee is a very modest man. And with reason.\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    '\nAuribus teneo lupum. (I hold a wolf by the ears.)\n',
    '\nAutomobile, n.: A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.\n',
    '\nAutomobile: A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.\n',
    '\nAverage managers are concerned with methods, opinions, precedents.\nGood managers are concerned with solving problems.\n',
    '\nAvoid Quiet and Placid persons unless you are in Need of Sleep.\n        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"\n',
    '\nAvoid letting temper block progress; keep cool.\n        ― William Feather\n',
    "\nBack off, man. I'm a scientist.\n", "\nBadges? We don't need no stinking badges.\n",
    '\nBagdikian\'s Observation:\n        Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American\n        newspaper is like trying to play Bach\'s "St. Matthew Passion"\n        on a ukelele.\n',
    "\nBad sneakers and a piña colada, my friend\nStompin' down the avenue by Radio City\nWith a transistor and a large sum of money to spend.\n        ― Steely Dan\n",
    "\nBaker's First Law of Federal Geometry:\n        A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides\n        by governors.\n",
    "\nBarth's Distinction: There are two types of people: those who divide people\ninto two types, and those who don't.\n",
    '\nBasic, n.: A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in\n           that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.\n',
    '\nBe assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would scarcely get\nyour Feet wet. Fall not in Love, therefore: it will stick to your face.\n        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"\n',
    '\nBe careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.\n', '\nBe different: conform.\n',
    '\nBe regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent and original\nin your work.\n        ― Gustave Flaubert\n',
    '\nBe seeing you.\n', '\nBeauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.\n',
    '\nBeauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.\n',
    '\nBees are not as busy as we think they are; they just cannot buzz any slower.\n        ― Abe Martin\n',
    "\nBehind every argument is someone's ignorance.\n        ― Louis Brandeis\n",
    '\nBehold the warranty: The bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.\n',
    "\nBeifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and\nreceptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is\nalready in the company of: (1) a date, (2) his wife, (3) a better looking\nand richer male friend.\n",
    "\nBeing stoned on marijuana isn't very different from being stoned on gin.\n        ― Ralph Nader\n",
    "\nBerkeley's First Law of Mistakes: The moment you have worked out an answer,\nstart checking it―it probably isn't right.\n",
    "\nCorollary 1 to Berkeley's First Law of Mistakes: Always let an answer cool\noff for awhile―it should not be used while hot.\n",
    "\nCorollary 2 to Berkeley's First Law of Mistakes: Check the answer you have\nworked out once more―before you tell it to anybody.\n",
    "\nBerkeley's Second Law of Mistakes: If there is an opportunity to make a\nmistake, sooner or later, the mistake will be made.\n",
    '\nBetter living a beggar than buried an emperor.\n',
    "\nBetween the choice of two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before.\n        ― Mae West\n",
    "\nBetween the legs of the women walking by, the dadaists imagined a monkey\nwrench and the surrealists a crystal cup. That's lost.\n        ― Ivan Chtcheglov\n",
    '\nBeware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.\n        ― Donald Knuth\n',
    '\nBeware of Geeks bearing grifts.\n',
    '\nBeware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.\n        ― Leonard Brandwein\n',
    '\nBeware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.\n', '\nBeware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.\n',
    '\nBeware of all enterprises that require new clothes.\n', '\nBeware of friends who are false and deceitful.\n',
    '\nBeware of low-flying butterflies.\n',
    '\nBeware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but\nnothing of interest is easy.\n',
    '\nBeware the new TTY code!\n', '\nBiggest security gap - an open mouth.\n',
    '\nBingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise,\nand you\'ll be Gary, Indiana. - Jessie in the movie "Greaser\'s Palace"\n',
    '\nBiography is the fallacy of intention.\n        ― Peter Taylor\n', '\nBiology ... it grows on you.\n',
    '\nBirth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nBizarreness is the essence of the exotic\n', '\nBlack holes are where God is dividing by zero.\n', '\nBlah.\n',
    "\nBleeding into a new computer is always a good thing; it's an ancient geek\nvoodoo magic to ensure its long life and reliability.\n        ― from Mike Taht's blog, http://the-edge.blogspot.com/\n",
    '\nBlessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.\n',
    '\nBlessed are they who Go Around in Circles, for they Shall be Known as Wheels.\n',
    '\nBlessed is the man who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to\nworry at night.\n        ― Leo Aikman\n',
    '\nBlood is thicker than water, and much tastier.\n',
    "\nBoard the windows, up your car insurance, and don't leave any booze in\nplain sight. It's St. Patrick's day in Chicago again. The legend has it\nthat St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. In fact, he was arrested\nfor drunk driving. The snakes left because people kept throwing up on\nthem.\n",
    "\nBoling's postulate: If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.\n",
    "\nBolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom:\n        Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so\n        vividly manifests their lack of progress.\n",
    "\nBombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.\n",
    '\nBond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them\nseemed to come from Texas.\n        ― Ian Fleming, "Casino Royale"\n',
    "\nBoob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.\n",
    '\nBore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    "\nBoren's Laws:\n        (1) When in charge, ponder.\n        (2) When in trouble, delegate.\n        (3) When in doubt, mumble.\n",
    '\nBoss, n.:\n        According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages\nthe words "boss" and "botch" were largely synonymous, except that boss,\nin addition to meaning "a supervisor of workers" also meant "an\nornamental stud."\n',
    '\nBoston, n.:\n        Ludwig van Beethoven being jeered by 50,000 sports fans for\n        finishing second in the Irish jig competition.\n',
    '\nBoy, n.:\n        A noise with dirt on it.\n',
    "\nBradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a\ncommittee. that will do them in.\n",
    "\nBradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a\ncommittee. That will do them in.\n",
    '\nBrady\'s First Law of Problem Solving: When confronted by a difficult\nproblem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How\nwould the Lone Ranger have handled this?"\n',
    '\nBrain fried ― core dumped\n',
    '\nBrain, n.: The apparatus with which we think that we think.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nBrain, v. [as in "to brain"]:\n        To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of\nerror in an opponent.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nBride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nBride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.\n',
    "\nBringing computers into the home won't change either one, but may\nrevitalize the corner saloon.\n",
    '\nBroad-mindedness: The result of flattening high-mindedness out.\n',
    "\nBrook's Law:\n        Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.\n",
    "\nBrooke's Law:\n        Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool\n        discovers something which either abolishes the system or\n        expands it beyond recognition.\n",
    '\nBubble Memory, n.:\n        A derogatory term, usually referring to a person\'s\n        intelligence. See also "vacuum tube".\n',
    "\nBucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.\n",
    '\nBug: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.\n',
    '\nBumper Sticker: Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.\n',
    '\nBumper sticker on nuclear war: if you have seen one, you have seen them all.\n',
    "\nBunk Carter's Law: At any given moment there are more important people in\nthe world than important jobs to contain them.\n",
    '\nBureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.\n        ― Balzac\n',
    '\nBureaucrat, n.: A politician who has tenure.\n', '\nBureaucrats cut read tape ― length-wise.\n',
    "\nBurnt Sienna: That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.\n        ― Ken Weaver\n",
    '\nBusiness will be either better or worse.\n        ― Calvin Coolidge\n',
    '\nBut in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the\nsystem, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed,\nanalyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses.\n        ― Bruce Leverett, "Register Allocation in Optimizing Compilers"\n',
    '\nBy doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely\noverwhelm me.\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n',
    '\nBy doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task\ncompletely overwhelm you.\n',
    '\nBy long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other\ndesigners in the thin disguise of good, clean fun.\n        ― P. J. Plauger, from his April Fool\'s column in the April 1988\n           issue of "Computer Language"\n',
    '\nBy one count there are some 700 scientists with respectable academic\ncredentials (out of a total of 480,000 U.S. earth and life scientists) who\ngive credence to creation-science, the general theory that complex life\nforms did not evolve but appeared "abruptly."\n        ― Newsweek, June 29, 1987, pg. 23\n',
    "\nC, n.: A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like\nassembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything else.\nIt is either the best language available to the art today, or it isn't.\n        ― Ray Simard\n",
    '\nC++ : Where friends have access to your private members.\n        ― Gavin Russell Baker\n',
    '\nCChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..\n        ― Randall Garrett\n',
    '\nCabbage, n.: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as\na man\'s head.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    "\nCabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise\nas a man's head.\n",
    '\nCaeca invidia est. (Envy is blind.)\n        ― Livy\n',
    "\nCahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.\n",
    '\nCalifornia is a fine place to live ― if you happen to be an orange.\n        ― Fred Allen\n',
    '\nCalifornia is the ghost of Christmas future for the rest of America.\n        ― anonymous post to an Internet forum\n',
    '\nCalifornia is the land of perpetual pubescence, where cultural lag is\nmistaken for renaissance.\n        ― Ashley Montagu\n',
    '\nCall on God, but row away from the rocks.\n        ― Indian proverb\n',
    '\nCan anyone remember when the times were not hard, and money not scarce?\n',
    '\nCan anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun.\n', '\nCannot fork ― try again.\n',
    '\nCannot fortune open database.\n',
    "\nCaptain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time,\nand some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool Mom.\n",
    '\nCarelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than\nexpected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to\ncomplete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their\nplanning to reduce the time it takes.\n',
    '\nCarperpetuation (kar\' pur pet u a shun), n.:\n        The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a\ndozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then\nputting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.\n        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"\n',
    "\nCatch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world.\n",
    '\nCertain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk\nwith an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point\nwith pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe\nyears; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their\nhabits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing\nthis thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nChange is what people fear most.\n        ― Dostoevski\n', '\nChange your thoughts and you change your world.\n',
    '\nCharacter Density: the number of very weird people in the office.\n',
    '\nCharacter is the ligament holding together all other qualities.\n        ― Arnold Glasow\n',
    '\nChemicals, n.: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.\n', '\nChicken Little was right.\n',
    '\nChildren are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort\nto teach them good manners.\n',
    "\nChildren aren't happy without something to ignore,\nAnd that's what parents were created for.\n        ― Ogden Nash\n",
    '\nChildren begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely,\nif ever, do they forgive them.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nChildren have more need of models than of critics.\n',
    "\nChildren seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for\nword what you shouldn't have said.\n",
    "\nChism's Law of Completion:\n        The amount of time required to complete a government project is\n        precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.\n",
    "\nChisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law:\n        When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.\n",
    '\nCivilisation is the art of living in towns of such size that everyone does\nnot know everyone else.\n        ― Julian Jaynes\n',
    '\nCivilization Law #1: Civilization advances by extending the number of\nimportant operations one can do without thinking about them.\n',
    '\nCivilization is a movement, not a condition; it is a voyage, not a harbor.\n        ― Toynbee\n',
    "\nCivilization is the progress toward a society of privacy.\n        ― Howard Roark, in Ayn Rand's _The Fountainhead_\n",
    '\n[Classical music] would be a lot more popular if they gave the pieces titles\nlike "Kill the Wabbit."\n        ― Mark Fetherolf.\n',
    '\nClassified material requires proper storage.\n', '\nCleanliness is next to impossible.\n',
    '\nCogito cogito ergo cogito sum ―\n"I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nCogito ergo doleo. (I think, therefore I am depressed.)\n', '\nCogito ergo sum.\n',
    "\nCohen's Law: Everyone knows that the name of the game is what label you\nsucceed in imposing on the facts.\n",
    '\nCollaboration, n.: A literary partnership based on the false assumption\nthat the other fellow can spell.\n',
    "\nCollege isn't the place to go for ideas.\n        ― Hellen Keller\n",
    '\nColorless green ideas sleep furiously.\n',
    '\nCome to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million\ntypewriters, and Usenet is nothing like Shakespeare.\n        ― Blair Houghton\n',
    '\nCommitment, n.: Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and\neggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.\n',
    '\nCommon sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.\n        ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge\n',
    '\nComplacency is the enemy of progress.\n        ― Dave Stutman\n',
    '\nComputer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.\n',
    "\nComputer Science: the boring art of coping with a large number of trivialities\n(The Devil's DP Dictionary)\n",
    '\nComputer literacy is a contact with the activity of computing deep enough to\nmake the computational equivalent of reading and writing fluent and enjoyable.\nAs in all the arts, a romance with the material must be well under way. If\nwe value the lifelong learning of arts and letters as a springboard for\npersonal and societal growth, should any less effort be spent to make computing\na part of our lives?\n        ― Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984\n',
    '\nConceit causes more conversation than wit.\n        ― LaRouchefoucauld\n',
    '\nConcept, n.: Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than\n$25,000.\n',
    '\nConceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed from one\nmind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.\n        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"\n',
    '\nConfession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is\ngood for dandruff.\n        ― Peter de Vries\n',
    '\nConfidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.\n',
    "\nConfound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!\n        ― Ben Jonson\n",
    '\nConfusticate and bebother these dwarves!\n', '\nConscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.\n',
    "\nConservative, n.: One who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.\n        ― Leo C. Rosten\n",
    '\nConsultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then\ngive it back to them.\n',
    '\nControlling complexity is the essence of computer programming.\n        ― Brian W. Kernighan\n',
    '\nConversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his\nbreath is called the listener.\n',
    "\nConway's Law: Any piece of software reflects the organizational structure\nthat produced it.\n",
    '\nCoronation, n.: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and\nvisible signs of his divine right to be blown sky-high with a dynamite bomb.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nCorporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit\nwithout individual responsibility.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nCorripe Cervisiam!\n', '\nCorrupt, adj.: In politics, holding an office of trust or profit.\n',
    '\nCorruption is not the #1 priority of the Police Commissioner. His job\nis to enforce the law and fight crime.\n        ― P.B.A. President E. J. Kiernan\n',
    '\nCourage is grace under pressure.\n',
    '\nCoward, n.: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nCrash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with\nnine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.\n        ― Wernher von Braun\n',
    '\nCreativity cannot be diminished by the medium of expression.\n        ― Mitch Allen\n',
    '\nCreationists make it sound as though a "theory" is something you dreamt up\nafter being drunk all night.\n        ― Isaac Asimov\n',
    "\nCreditors have better memories than debtors.\n        ― Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack (1758)\n",
    '\nCrime does not pay ... as well as politics.\n        ― A. E. Newman\n',
    '\nCriminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital\nto form a corporation.\n        ― Howard Scott\n',
    '\nCritic, n.: A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries\nto please him.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nCudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his\npace with beating.\n        ― Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 1\n',
    '\nCulture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.\n',
    '\nCynic, n.: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not\nas they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking\nout a cynic\'s eyes to improve his vision.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nCynic, n.: One who looks through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.\n',
    '\nDaring ideas are like chessmen moved forward,\nthey may be beaten, but they may start a winning game.\n        ― J. W. von Goethe\n',
    '\nDawn, n.: The time when men of reason go to bed.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nDe Borglie rules the wave, but Heisenberg waived the rules.\n        ― Piggins\n',
    "\nDealing with failure is easy: work hard to improve. Success is also easy to\nhandle: you've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.\n",
    "\nDeath is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.\n",
    "\nDeath is Nature's way of recycling human beings.\n", '\nDeath is Nature\'s way of saying, "slow down".\n',
    "\nDeath is life's way of telling you you've been fired.\n        ― R. Geis\n",
    '\nDeath: to stop sinning suddenly.\n',
    '\nDebugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged\nabout forever.\n        ― button at the Boston Computer Museum\n',
    '\nDebugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place.\nTherefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are―by\ndefinition―not smart enough to debug it.\n        ― Brian Kernighan\n',
    '\nDecisionmaker, n.: The person in your office who was unable to form a task\nforce before the music stopped.\n\n',
    '\nDecisions of the judges will be final unless shouted down by a really\noverwhelming majority of the crowd present. Abusive and obscene language\nmay not be used by contestants when addressing members of the judging\npanel, or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing\ncontestants (unless struck by a boomerang).\n        ― Mudgeeraba Creek Emu-Riding and Boomerang-Throwing Association\n',
    '\nDecisions terminate panic.\n',
    '\nDeliberation, n.: The act of examining one\'s bread to determine which side it\nis buttered on.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nDemocracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder\naloud what the country could do under first-class management.\n        ― Senator Soaper\n',
    '\nDemocracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the\nincompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.\n        ― G. B. Shaw\n',
    '\nDemocracy is four wolves and a lamb, voting on what to have for lunch.\n',
    '\nDemocracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people\nare right more than half of the time.\n        ― E. B. White\n',
    "\nDenniston's Law: Virtue is its own punishment.\n",
    "\nDeprive a mirror of its silver, and even the Czar won't see his face.\n",
    '\nDer Unterschied zwischen Genie und Wahnsinn liegt nur im Erfolg.\n[The only difference between genius and insanity is the success.]\n',
    "\nDid I forget to mention, forget to mention Memphis?\nHome of Elvis and the ancient Greeks.\nDo I smell? I smell home cooking.\nIt's only the river, it's only the river.\n        ― Talking Heads (Cities)\n",
    '\nDid you know gullible is not in the dictionary?\n',
    '\nDifferent all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.\n',
    '\nDigital computers are themselves more complex than most things people build:\nThey have very large numbers of states. This makes conceiving, describing,\nand testing them hard. Software systems have orders-of-magnitude more states\nthan computers do.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    '\nDimensions will always be expressed in the least usable term.\nVelocity, for example, will be expressed in furlongs per fortnight.\n',
    '\nDiplomacy is the art of extricating oneself from a situation that tact\nwould have prevented in the first place.\n',
    '\nDiplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.\n',
    '\nDisc space ― the final frontier!\n', '\nDisco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.\n',
    '\nDiscovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what no\none else has thought.\n        ― Albert Szent-Gyorgi\n',
    '\nDistress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nDo not allow this language (Ada) in its present state to be used in\napplications where reliability is critical, i.e., nuclear power stations,\ncruise missiles, early warning systems, anti-ballistic missle defense\nsystems. The next rocket to go astray as a result of a programming language\nerror may not be an exploratory space rocket on a harmless trip to Venus:\nIt may be a nuclear warhead exploding over one of our cities. An unreliable\nprogramming language generating unreliable programs constitutes a far\ngreater risk to our environment and to our society than unsafe cars, toxic\npesticides, or accidents at nuclear power stations.\n        ― C. A. R. Hoare\n',
    '\nDo not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.\n',
    "\nDo not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.\n",
    '\nDo not compromise yourself; you are all you have got.\n        ― Janis Joplin\n',
    '\nDo not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.\n',
    "\nDo not try to solve all life's problems at once ― learn to dread each\nday as it comes.\n        ― Donald Kaul\n",
    "\nDo not underestimate the value of print statements for debugging.\nDon't have aesthetic convulsions when using them, either.\n",
    '\nDo you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take\nthe time to take the dirt out of them?\n',
    '\nDocumentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and\nwhen it is bad, it is better than nothing.\n        ― Dick Brandon\n',
    '\nDocumentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must\nbe good because the programmers hate it so much.\n',
    "\nDon't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.\n",
    "\nDon't believe everything you hear or anything you say.\n", "\nDon't comment bad code: rewrite it.\n",
    "\nDon't compare floating point numbers solely for equality.\n", "\nDon't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.\n",
    "\nDon't diddle code to make it faster, find a better algorithm.\n",
    "\nDobbin's Law: When in doubt, use a bigger hammer.\n",
    "\nDon't get suckered in by the comments ― they can be terribly misleading.\nDebug only code.\n        ― Dave Storer\n",
    "\nDon't knock President Fillmore. He kept us out of Vietnam.\n",
    "\nDon't learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade.\n",
    "\nDon't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.\n        ― Bo Diddley\n",
    "\nDon't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.\n",
    "\nDon't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy\nit today you can do it again tomorrow.\n",
    "\nDon't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.\n        ― James J. Ling\n",
    "\nDon't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free\nwith my breakfast cereal.\n        ― Zaphod Beeblebrox\n",
    "\nDon't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already\ntomorrow in Australia.\n        ― Charles Schultz\n",
    "\nDon't worry about things that you have no control over, because you have no\ncontrol over them. Don't worry about things that you have control over,\nbecause you have control over them.\n        ― Mickey Rivers\n",
    "\nDon't worry about what other people are thinking about you. They're too\nbusy worrying about what you are thinking about them.\n",
    '\nDoubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.\n        ― Voltaire\n',
    "\nDoubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.\n        ― Paul Tillich, German theologian and historian\n",
    '\nDoubts and jealousies often beget the facts they fear.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nDown with categorical imperative!\n', '\nDrawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.\n',
    "\nDucharme's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize\nyourself as part of the problem.\n",
    "\nDucharme's Precept: Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.\n",
    '\nDuct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and\nit holds the universe together ...\n        ― Carl Zwanzig\n',
    '\nDue to a shortage of devoted followers, the production of great leaders\nhas been discontinued.\n',
    '\nDue to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate\nand captain of your soul.\n',
    '\nDum excusare credis, accusas. (When you believe you are excusing yourself,\nyou are accusing yourself.)\n        ― St. Jerome\n',
    "\nDunne's Law: The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with\nequivocation.\n",
    '\nDuring almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has\nbeen upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places,\npride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity;\nin both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.\n        ― James Madison\n',
    '\nDying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to\nhave nothing whatever to do with it.\n        ― W. Somerset Maughm\n',
    '\nE Pluribus Unix\n',
    '\nEach honest calling, each walk of life, has its own elite, its own aristocracy\nbased on excellence of performance.\n        ― James Bryant Conant\n',
    '\nEach team building another component has been using the most recent tested\nversion of the integrated system as a test bed for debugging its piece. Their\nwork will be set back by having that test bed change under them. Of course it\nmust. But the changes need to be quantized. Then each user has periods of\nproductive stability, interrupted by bursts of test-bed change. This seems\nto be much less disruptive than a constant rippling and trembling.\n        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"\n',
    '\nEconomics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.\n        ― John Kenneth Galbraith\n',
    '\nEconomics, n.: Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J. K.\nGalbraith ...\n        ― Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac"\n',
    '\nEconomy makes men independent.\n',
    '\nEducation has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish\nwhat is worth reading.\n        ― G. M. Trevelyan\n',
    '\nEducation helps earning capacity. Ask any college professor.\n',
    '\nEen schip op het strand is een baken in zee.\n[A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea.]\n        ― Dutch Proverb\n',
    '\nEeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak.\n        ― Bullwinkle Moose\n',
    '\nEggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.\n        ― Adlai Stevenson\n',
    '\nEgotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain\nof being a damned fool.\n        ― Bellamy Brooks\n',
    '\nEgotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.\n        ― Frank Leahy\n',
    '\nEgotist, n.: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    "\nEhrman's Commentary:\n        1. Things will get worse before they get better.\n        2. Who said things would get better?\n",
    '\nEighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees.\n        ― Ronald Reagan, famous movie star\n',
    '\nEinstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because\nGod is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software\nengineer.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    '\nEither do not attempt at all, or go through with it.\n        ― Ovid\n',
    "\nEither that wallpaper goes, or I do.\n        ― Oscar Wilde's last words\n",
    '\nElectrocution: Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements.\n',
    '\nElevators smell different to midgets\n', '\nEloquence is vehement simplicity.\n        ― Cecil\n',
    "\nEmersons' Law of Contrariness: Our chief want in life is somebody who shall\nmake us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.\n",
    '\nEndless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.\nLoop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.\n        ― Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary\n',
    '\nEnjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.\n', "\nEntropy isn't what it used to be.\n",
    '\nEnvy always implies conscious inferiority wherever it resides.\n        ― Pliny\n',
    '\nEnzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which\notherwise require harder thinking.\n        ― Jerome Lettvin\n',
    '\nEqual bytes for women.\n', '\nEschew obfuscatory digressiveness.\n        ― Barry Dancis (1983)\n',
    '\nEternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.\n        ― Woody Allen\n',
    "\nEttore's observation: the other line moves faster.\n",
    '\nEtymology, n.: Some early etymological scholars came up with derivations that\nwere hard for the public to believe. The term "etymology" was formed\nfrom the Latin "etus" ("eaten"), the root "mal" ("bad"), and "logy"\n("study of"). It meant "the study of things that are hard to swallow."\n        ― Mike Kellen\n',
    '\nEven a cabbage may look at a king.\n', '\nEven a hawk is an eagle among crows.\n',
    '\nEven if you can deceive people about a product through misleading statements,\nsooner or later the product will speak for itself.\n        ― Hajime Karatsu\n',
    '\nEven if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to\nspeak it to?\n        ― Clarence Darrow\n',
    '\nEven the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.\n',
    '\nEven the future comes one day at a time.\n        ― W. Woodhouse\n',
    '\nEven the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.\n',
    "\nEven though they raised the rate for first class mail in the United\nStates we really shouldn't complain ― it's still only 2 cents a day.\n",
    '\nEver notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you\njust how busy they are.\n',
    '\nEver wander around the web, look at discussions, totally agree with one of\nthe points of view, and then notice it was posted under one of your web\naliases 5 years ago?\n        ― Larry Weber\n',
    '\nEvery 4 seconds a woman has a baby. Our problem is to find this woman\nand stop her.\n',
    '\nEvery Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):\nHorses have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs, and in\nfront they have fore-legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an\nodd number of legs for a horse. But the only number that is both even\nand odd is infinity. Therefore, horses have an infinite number of\nlegs. Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere,\nthere is a horse that has a finite number of legs. But that is a horse\nof another color, and by the [above] lemma ["All horses are the same\ncolor"], that does not exist.\n',
    '\nEvery Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper .... everyone was\neating paper and a policeman was at the door. Now all you have to do is\nbend a disk.\n        ― an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity,\n           commenting on the benefits of using computers in support of their\n           movement\n',
    '\nEvery absurdity has a champion to defend it.\n',
    '\nEvery creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.\n',
    '\nEvery gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired\nsignifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not\nfed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not\nspending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the\ngenius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way\nof life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is\nhumanity hanging on a cross of iron.\n        ― Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953\n',
    "\nEvery institution I've ever been associated with has tried to screw me.\n        ― Stephen Wolfram\n",
    '\nEvery little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.\n        ― Don Vonada\n',
    '\nEvery man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.\n        ― Miguel de Cervantes\n',
    "\nEvery program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one\ninstruction ― from which, by induction, one can deduce that every\nprogram can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.\n",
    "\nEvery program has two purposes ― one for which it was written and another\nfor which it wasn't.\n",
    '\nEvery program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.\n', '\nEvery purchase has its price.\n',
    '\nEvery silver lining has a cloud around it.\n', '\nEvery solution breeds new problems.\n',
    '\nEvery successful person has had failures, but repeated failure is no\nguarantee of eventual success.\n',
    '\nEvery word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.\n        ― Beckett\n',
    '\nEverything is better with no people.\n        ― Bob "Biff" Rendar\n',
    "\nDykstra's Law: Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.\n",
    '\nEverything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately,\nno one we know belongs.\n',
    '\nEverything to excess! Moderation is for monks.\n        ― Lazarus Long\n',
    '\nEverything you know is wrong.\n        ― The Firesign Theater\n',
    '\nEverything you\'ve learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less\nobvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no\nsolids in the universe. There\'s not even a suggestion of a solid. There\nare no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight\nlines.\n        ― R. Buckminster Fuller\n',
    '\nEverything should be built top-down, except the first time.\n',
    '\nEvolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact.\nOnly a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. ... Only\natheists could accept this Satanic theory.\n        ― Rev. Jimmy Swaggart, "The Pre-Adamic Creation and Evolution"\n',
    '\nEvolution does not require the nonexistence of God, it merely allows for\nit. That alone is enough to evoke condemnation from those who fear the\nnonexistence of God more than they fear God Himself.\n        ― Keith Doyle, in talk.origins\n',
    '\nEvolution is both fact and theory. Creationism is neither.\n        ― Anonymous\n',
    '\nExactitude in small matters is the essence of discipline.\n',
    '\nExample is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other.\n', '\nExcellent day to have a rotten day.\n',
    '\nExcellent time to become a missing person.\n',
    '\nExcess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from\nacquiring the deadening effect of a habit.\n        ― W. Somerset Maugham\n',
    '\nExcessive login or logout messages are a sure sign of senility.\n',
    '\nExcuse me while I change into something more formidable.\n',
    '\nExecutive ability is prominent in your make-up.\n', '\nExpense Accounts, n.: Corporate food stamps.\n',
    "\nExperience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other.\n        ― Poor Richard's Almanac\n",
    "\nExperience is something you don't get until just after you need it.\n        ― Olivier\n",
    '\nExperience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when\nyou make it again.\n        ― Franklin P. Jones\n',
    '\nExperience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and\nthe instructions afterward.\n',
    '\nExperience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.\n',
    '\nExperience is what you get when you were expecting something else.\n',
    '\nExtreme good-naturedness borders on weakness of character. Avoid it.\n',
    '\nExtremes of fortune are fatal to folks of small dimensions.\n        ― Arnold Glasow\n',
    '\nFLASH! Intelligence of mankind decreasing. Details at ... uh, when\nthe little hand is on the ....\n',
    '\nFacts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.\n',
    "\nFacts are simple and facts are straight / Facts are lazy and facts are late.\nFacts all come with points of view / Facts don't do what I want them to.\nFacts just twist the truth around / Facts are living turned inside out.\nFacts are getting the best of them / Facts are nothing on the face of things.\nFacts don't stain the furniture / Facts go out and slam the door.\nFacts are written all over your face / Facts continue to change their shape.\n        ― Talking Heads\n",
    "\nFailing to get them to do it your way might mean they're stupid, but it also\nmeans you failed to get them to do it your way.\n        ― Cal Keegan\n",
    '\nFailure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.\n',
    '\nFailure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.\n        ― Ferenc Mantfeld\n',
    "\nFaire de la bonne cuisine demande un certain temps. Si on vous fait attendre,\nc'est pour mieux vous servir, et vous plaire.\n[Good cooking takes time. If you are made to wait, it is to serve you better,\nand to please you.]\n        ― Menu of Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans\n           [Also, what we're going to be telling our customers]\n",
    '\nFairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.\n',
    '\nFalling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint.\n        ― Dave Sim, author of "Cerberus the Aardvark"\n',
    '\nFamiliarity breeds attempt\n', '\nFamiliarity breeds children.\n', '\nFamiliarity breeds contempt.\n',
    "\nFamilies, when a child is born/Want it to be intelligent.\nI, through intelligence,/Having wrecked my whole life,\nOnly hope the baby will prove/Ignorant and stupid.\nThen he will crown a tranquil life/By becoming a Cabinet Minister\n        ― Su Tung-p'o\n",
    '\nFanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your\naim.\n        ― Santayana\n',
    '\nFantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters;\nunited with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.\n        ― Goya\n',
    '\nFar better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though\ncheckered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither\nenjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows\nnot victory or defeat.\n        ― Theodore Roosevelt\n',
    "\nFar duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.\n\n",
    '\nFashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it\nevery six months.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    "\nFelson's Law: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from\nmany is research.\n",
    '\nFidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.\n', '\nField theories, unite!\n',
    "\nFinagle's Creed: Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.\n",
    "\nFinagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.\n",
    "\nFinagle's Second Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it\nonly makes it worse.\n",
    '\nFinding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion and\nbamboozle requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication and courage. But if we\ndon\'t practice these tough habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the truly\nserious problems that face us ― and we risk becoming a nation of suckers, up\nfor grabs by the next charlatan who comes along.\n        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade,\n           February 1, 1987\n',
    "\nFine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be\nlike. But Java applications are good examples of what applications\nSHOULDN'T be like.\n        ― pixadel\n",
    '\nFine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.\n',
    '\nFine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.\n',
    "\nFinster's Law: a closed mouth gathers no feet.\n",
    '\nFirst Law of Procrastination: Procrastination shortens the job and places\nthe responsibility for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority\nwho imposed the deadline).\n',
    '\nFirst Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary.\n',
    "\nFirst Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself, historians merely\nrepeat each other.\n",
    '\nFlee at once: All is discovered.\n',
    "\nFlon's Law:\n        There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is\n        the least bit difficult to write bad programs.\n",
    "\nFlugg's Law:\n        When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the\n        world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.\n",
    '\nFollow the river and you will eventually find the sea.\n',
    '\nFootball combines the two worst features of American life: violence and\ncommittee meetings.\n        ― George Will\n',
    '\nFor a really sweet time, call C6H12O6.\n',
    '\nFor a while there I was worried that my tin foil beanie was blocking the\nTopFive.com website. Luckily it turned out to be a router problem.\n        ― Attributed to "wubwub", quoted on www.ruminate.com (2004)\n',
    '\nFor an idea to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards be\nalways old-fashioned.\n',
    '\nFor every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.\n',
    '\nFor every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.\n        ― R. Clopton\n',
    '\nFor some reason a glaze passes over people\'s faces when you say\n"Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.\n        ― Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to\n                   the U.S.\n',
    '\nFor some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.\n',
    '\nFor the politicians this was never about how efficient they could make\nthings happen or how to solve a problem, it is about the *appearance* of\nefficiency, or problem solving. My observation is that most politicians\nthink more like sales people than technicians, and are about as clueful.\nWhich means, unless the politicians change the way they think, discussion\nabout how to use *them* to go about really solving these problems would be\nlike asking a booth babe to write a kernel module.\n        ― Rich Costine\n',
    '\nFor those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.\n        ― Abraham Lincoln\n',
    '\nForgetfulness, n.: A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for\ntheir destitution of conscience.\n',
    '\nFourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about\ninterferences ― if you have none, someone will make one for you.\n',
    '\nFourth Law of Thermodymanics:\nIf the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.\n        ― David Ellis\n',
    "\nFrankly my dear, I don't give a damn.\n",
    "\nFresco's Discovery: If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.\n",
    '\nFriends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.\n',
    '\nFrisbeetarianism, n.: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the\nroof and gets stuck.\n',
    '\nFrobnicate, v.:\n        To manipulate or adjust, to tweak. Derived from FROBNITZ.\nUsually abbreviated to FROB. Thus one has the saying "to frob a\nfrob". See TWEAK and TWIDDLE. Usage: FROB, TWIDDLE, and TWEAK\nsometimes connote points along a continuum. FROB connotes aimless\nmanipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross manipulation, often a coarse\nsearch for a proper setting; TWEAK connotes fine-tuning. If someone is\nturning a knob on an oscilloscope, then if he\'s carefully adjusting it\nhe is probably tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the\nscreen he is probably twiddling it; but if he\'s just doing it because\nturning a knob is fun, he\'s frobbing it.\n',
    "\nFrom the ice-age to the dole-age\nthere is but one concern\nand I have just discovered:\nsome girls are bigger than others\nsome girls are bigger than others\nsome girls are bigger than\nother girls' mothers\n        ― The Smiths\n",
    '\nFrom too much love of living/From hope and fear set free,\nWe thank with brief thanksgiving/Whatever gods may be,\nThat no life lives forever/That dead men rise up never,\nThat even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.\n        ― Swinburne\n',
    "\nFroud's Law: A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the\nfuse by blowing first.\n",
    "\nFudd's First Law of Opposition: Push something hard enough and it will\nfall over.\n",
    '\nFurbling, v.: Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank\neven when you are the only person in line.\n        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"\n',
    '\nFurious activity is no substitute for understanding.\n        ― H. H. Williams\n',
    '\nGadji beri bimba clandridi/Lauli lonni cadori gadjam\nA bim beri glassala glandride/E glassala tuffm I Zimbra.\n        ― Talking Heads (I Zimbra)\n',
    '\nG. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: "Go on writing plays, my boy. One\nof these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his\nsecretary, `Is there a play from Shaw this morning?\' and when she says\n`No,\' he will say, `Well, then we\'ll have to start on the rubbish.\'\nAnd that\'s your chance, my boy."\n',
    '\nGarbage In ― Gospel Out.\n',
    '\nGarter, n.: An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her\nstockings and desolating the country.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nGenderplex, n.: The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to\ndetermine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).\n        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"\n',
    '\nGene Police: YOU! Out of the pool!\n', '\nGenerosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.\n',
    "\nGenetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why\nyou should.\n",
    '\nGenius is the talent of a man who is dead.\n',
    '\nGenius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.\n        ― Elbert Hubbard\n',
    '\nGenius: A chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with "bright".\n',
    '\nGenuinely skillful use of obscenities is uniformly absent on the Internet.\n        ― Karl Kleinpaste\n',
    '\nGeology shows that fossils are of different ages. Paleontology shows a\nfossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through time.\nTaxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the\nexplanation that threads it all together. Creationism is the practice of\nsqueeezing one\'s eyes shut and wailing, "Does not!"\n        ― Dr.Pepper@f241.n103.z1.fidonet.org\n',
    '\nGeorge Orwell was an optimist.\n', '\nGet forgiveness now ― tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.\n',
    '\nGet hold of portable property.\n        ― Charles Dickens, "Great Expectations"\n',
    "\nGive a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.\nTeach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner.\n        ― Calvin Keegan\n",
    '\nGive a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs\npounding.\n        ― Abraham Kaplan\n',
    '\nGive big space to the festive dog that shall sport in the roadway.\n',
    "\nGive me a plumber's friend the size of the Pittsburgh Dome, and a place\nto stand, and I will drain the world.\n",
    '\nGive up.\n', '\nGiving advice is not as risky as people say; few ever take it anyway.\n',
    "\nGlib's Fourth Law of Unreliability: Investment in reliability will increase\nuntil it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on\ngetting some useful work done.\n",
    '\nGo placidly amid the noise and waste, and remember what value there may\nbe in owning a piece thereof.\n        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"\n',
    '\nGo soothingly in the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.\n', '\nGo west young, man.\n',
    '\nGod did not create the world in 7 days; he screwed around for 6 days\nand then pulled an all-nighter.\n',
    '\nGod does not play dice with the universe.\n',
    '\nGod gives us relatives; thank goodness we can choose our friends.\n',
    '\nGod has intended the great to be great and the little to be little ... The\ntrade unions, under the European system, destroy liberty ... I do not mean\nto say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman ... not enough\nto support a man and five children if he insists on smoking and drinking\nbeer. But the man who cannot live on bread and water is not fit to live!\nA family may live on good bread and water in the morning, water and bread\nat midday, and good bread and water at night!\n        ― Rev. Henry Ward Beecher\n',
    '\nGod is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.\n        ― Voltaire\n', '\nGod is a polytheist.\n',
    '\nGod is a verb, not a noun.\n', '\nGod is an atheist.\n',
    "\nGod is playing a comic to an audience that's afraid to laugh.\n", '\nGod is real, unless declared integer.\n',
    '\nGod is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant\nand the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.\n        ― Pablo Picasso\n',
    '\nGod is the tangential point between zero and infinity.\n        ― Alfred Jarry\n',
    '\nGod made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.\n',
    '\nGod made the integers; all else is the work of Man.\n        ― Kronecker\n',
    '\nGod made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.\n',
    '\nGod requireth not a uniformity of religion.\n        ― Roger Williams\n',
    '\nGod runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,\nand the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and\nSaturday.\n        ― William Bragg\n',
    "\nGodwin's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a\ncomparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.\n",
    '\nGoing the speed of light is bad for your age.\n',
    '\nGoing to church does not make a person religious, nor does going to school\nmake a person educated, any more than going to a garage makes a person a car.\n',
    "\nGoldenstern's Rules:\n        1. Always hire a rich attorney\n        2. Never buy from a rich salesman.\n",
    '\nGood advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.\n        ― La Rouchefoucauld\n',
    '\nGood advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad\nexample.\n        ― La Rouchefoucauld\n',
    '\nGood leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.\n',
    "\nGood-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.\n        ― George Saunders' dying words\n",
    '\nGot Mole problems? Call Avogadro, 6.02 E23.\n',
    '\nGoto, n.: A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers\nto complain about unstructured programmers.\n        ― Ray Simard\n',
    '\nGovernment expands to absorb all revenue and then some.\n',
    '\nGovernment is an association of men who do violence to the rest of us.\n        ― Tolstoy\n',
    '\nGovernment sucks.\n        ― Ben Olson\n',
    "\nGrabel's Law:\n        2 is not equal to 3 ― not even for large values of 2.\n",
    "\nGraduate life ― it's not just a job, it's an indenture.\n",
    '\nGrain grows best in shit.\n        ― Ursula K. LeGuin\n',
    "\nGrandpa Charnock's Law:\n        You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.\n",
    '\nGranholm\'s Definition of the Kludge: An ill-assorted collection of poorly\nmatching parts forming a distressing whole.\n        ― Jackson W. Granholm, "How to Design a Kludge,"\n           Datamation, Feb. 1962\n',
    "\nGray's Law of Programming:\n        `N+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same\n        time as `N' tasks.\n\nLogg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law:\n        `N+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as `N' trivial tasks.\n",
    '\nGreat people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small\npeople talk about wine.\n        ― Fran Lebowitz\n',
    '\nGreatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent.\n',
    "\nGreener's Law: Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.\n",
    "\nGrelb's Reminder: Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above\naverage drivers.\n",
    "\nHacker's Law: The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir\na nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.\n        ― Andrew Hacker, The End of the American Era (1970)\n",
    "\nHaggis is a kind of stuffed black pudding eaten by the Scots and considered\nby them to be not only a delicacy but fit for human consumption. The minced\nheart, liver and lungs of a sheep, calf or other animal's inner organs are\nmixed with oatmeal, sealed and boiled in maw in the sheep's intestinal\nstomach-bag and ... Excuse me a minute ...\n",
    '\nHalf of one, six dozen of the other.\n',
    '\nHalf the things that people do not succeed in are through fear of making\nthe attempt.\n',
    '\nHand, n.: A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and\ncommonly thrust into somebody\'s pocket.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    "\nHanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately\nexplained by stupidity.\n",
    "\nHanson's Treatment of Time:\n        There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days\n        before Saturday.\n",
    '\nHappiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.\n',
    '\nHappiness comes and goes and is short on staying power.\n        ― Frank Tyger\n',
    '\nHappiness is having a scratch for every itch.\n        ― Ogden Nash\n',
    "\nHappiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.\n        ― Oscar Levant\n",
    '\nHappiness, n.: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of\nanother.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nHappiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery\nof another.\n',
    '\nHardware, n.: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.\n',
    "\nHarris' Lament: All the good ones are taken.\n", "\nHarris's Lament:\n        All the good ones are taken.\n",
    "\nHarrisberger's Second Law of the Lab: No matter what result it anticipated,\nthere is always someone willing to fake it.\n",
    "\nHarrisberger's Third Law of the Lab: Experiments should be reproducive.\nThey should all fail in the same way.\n",
    "\nHarrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional\nto the amount of equipment ruined.\n",
    "\nHarrison's Postulate:\n        For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.\n",
    "\nHartley's First Law:\n        You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float\n        on his back, you've got something.\n",
    "\nHartley's Second Law: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.\n",
    '\nHarvard Law: Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure,\ntemperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as\nit damn well pleases.\n',
    '\nHas everyone noticed that all the letters of the word "database" are\ntyped with the left hand? Now the layout of the QWERTYUIOP typewriter\nkeyboard was designed, among other things, to facilitate the even use\nof both hands. It follows, therefore, that writing about databases is\nnot only unnatural, but a lot harder than it appears.\n',
    '\nHatred, n.: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another\'s superiority.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nHave you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell you,\n"There\'s a time for work and a time for play," never find the time for play?\n',
    '\nHave you locked your file cabinet?\n',
    '\nHave you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a\ncrack in your sidewalk?\n',
    '\nHe had that rare weird electricity about him ― that extremely wild and\nheavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope\nof ever behaving "normally."\n        ― Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing \'72"\n',
    "\nHe hadn't a single redeeming vice.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n",
    '\nHe hated to mend, so young Ned\nCalled in a cute neighbor instead.\n        Her husband said, "Vi,\n        When you stitched up his torn fly,\nDid you have to bite off the thread?"\n',
    '\nHe is considered the most graceful speaker who can say nothing in most words.\n',
    "\nHe is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.\n",
    '\nHe launched a massive attack on everything this country held inviolate, on\nmost of what it held self-evident. He showed how our politics was dominated\nby time-servers and demagogues, our religion by bigots, our culture by\npuritans. He showed how the average citizen, both in himself and in the\nway he let himself be pulled around by the nose, was a boob.\n        ― Louis Kronenberger, "H.L. Mencken," in Malcolm Cowley, ed.,\n           After the Genteel Tradition, 1964.\n\n',
    "\nHe looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.\n",
    '\nHe played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.\n        ― John Mason Brown, drama critic\n',
    '\nHe that labors and thrives spins gold.\n        ― George Herbert\n',
    '\nHe that would govern others, first should be the master of himself.\n',
    '\nHe thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.\n',
    '\nHe walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.\n',
    '\nHe was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.\n',
    "\nHe wasn't much of an actor, he wasn't much of a Governor ― Hell, they\nHAD to make him President of the United States. It's the only job he's\nqualified for!\n        ― Michael Cain\n",
    '\nHe who Laughs, Lasts.\n',
    '\nHe who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry\nattacks democracy itself.\n        ― William S. Paley, chairman of CBS\n',
    '\nHe who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.\n',
    '\nHe who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.\n', '\nHe who hates vices hates mankind.\n',
    '\nHe who hesitates is sometimes saved.\n',
    '\nHe who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on\ncruise.\n',
    '\nHe who laughs, lasts.\n', '\nHe who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.\n',
    '\nHe who shits on the road will meet flies on his return.\n        ― South African Saying\n',
    '\nHe who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.\n',
    '\nHe who spends a storm beneath a tree takes life with a grain of TNT.\n',
    '\nHe who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.\n        ― M. C. Escher\n',
    '\nHe\'ll sit here and he\'ll say, "Do this! Do that!" And nothing will happen.\n        ― Harry S. Truman, on presidential power\n',
    "\nHe's dead, Jim.\n",
    "\nHe's the kind of guy, that, well, if you were ever in a jam he'd be\nthere ... with two slices of bread and some chunky peanut butter.\n",
    '\nHealth is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.\n',
    '\nHeaven, n.: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of\ntheir personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you\nexpound your own.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nHeavy, adj.: Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.\n', '\nHedonist for hire: no job too easy.\n',
    '\nHeisenberg may have slept here.\n',
    '\nHell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.\n        ― Milton Friedman\n',
    "\nHeller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.\nJohnson's Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the\norganization.\n",
    '\nHello. My name is Batman. You killed my father. Prepare to die.\n', '\nHelp a swallow land at Capistrano.\n',
    '\nHelp stamp out, remove and abolish redundancy.\n',
    '\nHer life was saved by rock and roll.\n        ― Lou Reed\n',
    "\nHerblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.\n",
    "\nHere I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow\nup.\n        ― Peter Drucker\n",
    '\nHere at Controls, we have one chief for every Indian.\n',
    "\nHeuristics are bug ridden by definition. If they didn't have bugs,\nthen they'd be algorithms.\n",
    '\nHey what? Where? When? (Are you confused as I am?)\n',
    "\nHi there! This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person\nreading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,\nnor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.\n",
    '\nHidden talent counts for nothing.\n        ― Nero\n', '\nHindsight is an exact science.\n',
    '\nHippogriff, n.:\n        An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin.\nThe griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle.\nThe hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one quarter eagle, which\nis two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full\nof surprises.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nHire the morally handicapped.\n', '\nHis heart was yours from the first moment that you met.\n',
    '\nHistory does not repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other.\n',
    '\nHistory has the relation to truth that theology has to religion ―\ni.e., none to speak of.\n        ― Lazarus Long\n',
    "\nHistory repeats itself. That's one thing wrong with history.\n",
    '\nHistory, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people\nmaintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of\nignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will\nalways avail themselves for their own purpose.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson, to Baron von Humboldt, 1813\n',
    '\nHistory shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge,\nperiodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them\nasunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at\nintervals, casts its too narrow skin and assumes another... Truly the\nimago state of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every moult is a step\ngained.\n        ― Charles Darwin, from "Origin of the Species"\n',
    "\nHlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person ― they\nwill find an easier way to do it.\n",
    "\nHoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a\nsmall problem struggling to get out.\n",
    "\nHofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take\nHofstadter's Law into account.\n",
    '\nHokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at\nyour side.\n        ― Han Solo\n',
    "\nHollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.\n        ― Rex Reed\n",
    "\nHoly Smoke, Batman, it's the Joker!\n",
    "\nHonesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.\n        ― F. M. Hubbard\n",
    '\nHoni soit la vache qui rit.\n',
    '\nHonorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one\'s reach. In legislative\nbodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable\ngentleman is a scurvy cur."\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    "\nHorngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special\ncase.\n",
    '\nHorse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.\n        ― W. C. Fields\n',
    '\nHow about a little fire, scarecrow?\n',
    "\nHow can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?\n",
    "\nHow can you be two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?\n        ― Firesign Theater\n",
    '\nHow come only your friends step on your new white sneakers?\n',
    '\nHow does a project get to be a year late? ... One day at a time.\n        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month\n',
    '\nQ. How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a lightbulb?\nA. It depends on how many bad ones he brought with him.\n',
    '\nQ. How many Bavarian Illuminati does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA. Three: one to screw it in, and one to confuse the issue.\n',
    '\nQ. How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA. "That\'s a known problem... don\'t worry about it."\n',
    '\nQ. How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA. Three: one to screw it in and two to say "I told you so" when it doesn\'t\n   work.\n',
    '\nQ. How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?\nA. Two. One to change the bulb and one to mix the drinks.\n',
    '\nQ. How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nA. None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way.\n',
    '\nQ. How many hardware guys does it take to change a light bulb?\nA. "Well the diagnostics say it\'s fine buddy, so it\'s a software problem."\n',
    "\nQ. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?\nA. None. It's a hardware problem.\n",
    "\nQ. How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nA. You don't know, man. You don't KNOW. Cause you weren't THERE.\n        ― http://bash.org/?255991\n",
    '\nQ. How was Thomas J. Watson buried?\nA. 9 edge down.\n',
    "\nHowe's Law: Everyone has a scheme that will not work.\n",
    '\nHowever, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional\nmanner ... sulking and nausea.\n        ― Tom K. Ryan\n',
    '\nHuman beings were created by water to transport it uphill.\n',
    '\nHuman cardiac catheterization was introduced by Werner Forssman in 1929.\nIgnoring his department chief, and tying his assistant to an operating\ntable to prevent his interference, he placed a uretheral catheter into a\nvein in his arm, advanced it to the right atrium [of his heart], and walked\nupstairs to the x-ray department where he took the confirmatory x-ray film.\nIn 1956, Dr. Forssman was awarded the Nobel Prize.\n',
    '\nHumanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be\nlost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition.\n        ― Isaac Asimov\n',
    "\nHurewitz's Memory Principle: The chance of forgetting something is directly\nproportional to ..... to ........ uh ..............\n",
    '\nI always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to\ntheir fellows.\n        ― Susan B. Anthony\n',
    "\nI HATE arbitrary limits, especially when they're small.\n        ― Stephen Savitzky\n",
    '\nI have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life, I absented myself\nfrom Christian assemblies.\n        ― Benjamin Franklin\n',
    '\nI have had interactions with developers who are convinced that everything in\n.Net was created solely by MS for open source usage. But that could be another\nresult of vaccination preservatives.\n        ― Larry Weber\n',
    "\nI think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being\ntold that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick\nand tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.\n        ― Monty Python\n",
    '\nI would defend the liberty of concenting adult creationists to practice\nwhatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own\nhomes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.\n        ― Arthur C. Clarke\n',
    '\nI would not dare to so dishonor my Creator God by attaching His name to\nthat book [the Bible].\n        ― Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, Part 1, Section 5\n',
    "\nI'm also not very analytical. You know, I don't spend a lot of time thinking\nabout myself, about why I do things.\n        ― George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One; June 4, 2003\n",
    "\nI'm an evolutionist because I judge the evidence for the unity of life by\ncommon descent over billions of years to be overwhelming, not so that I can\ncheat on my wife or kick the cat with impunity. I live in no hope of heaven\nor fear of hell, but like most of my fellow Americans of all religious\npersuasions, I try to live a decent life. Folks like Tom DeLay just can't\nget it through their heads that a person can choose to live ethically\nbecause civilized life requires doing unto others as you would have them do\nunto you.\n        ― Chet Raymo, science columnist for The Boston Globe, in a\n           5 Sep, 1999, article on the anti-evolution decision by Kansas\n           School Board\n",
    '\nI am a member of a party of one, and I live in an age of fear. Nothing\nlately has unsettled my party and raised my fears so much as your\neditorial, on Thanksgiving Day, suggesting that employees should be\nrequired to state their beliefs in order to hold their jobs. The idea is\ninconsistent with our constitutional theory and has been stubbornly opposed\nby watchful men since the early days of the Republic.\n        ― E.B. White, in a letter to the New York Herald Tribune\n           (November 29, 1947)\n',
    '\nI am always with myself, and it is I who am my tormenter.\n        ― Leo Tolstoy\n',
    "\nI am astounded ... at the wonderful power you have developed ― and terrified\nat the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record\nforever.\n        ― Arthur Sullivan, on seeing a demonstration of Edison's new\n           talking machine in 1888\n",
    '\nI am not now, and never have been, a girl friend of Henry Kissinger.\n        ― Gloria Steinem\n',
    '\nI am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the\ngreat ordeal of meeting me is another matter.\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    '\nI am the mother of all things, and all things should wear a sweater.\n',
    '\nI am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of\npre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you\nthat I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic\nglobule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can\'t\nhelp it. I was born sneering.\n        ― Pooh-Bah, "The Mikado", Gilbert & Sullivan\n',
    '\nI believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.\n        ― G. K. Chesterton\n',
    '\nI belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.\n        ― Will Rogers\n',
    "\nI'll bet the human brain is a kludge.\n        ― Marvin Minsky\n",
    '\nI can call spirits from the vasty deep.\nWhy so can I, or so can any man; but will they come when you do call for them?\n        ― Shakespeare, King Henry IV, Part I\n',
    "\nI can't complain, but sometimes I still do.\n        ― Joe Walsh\n",
    '\nI cannot affirm God if I fail to affirm man. Therefore, I affirm both.\nWithout a belief in human unity I am hungry and incomplete. Human unity\nis the fulfillment of diversity. It is the harmony of opposites. It is\na many-stranded texture, with color and depth.\n        ― Norman Cousins\n',
    "\nI cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.\n        ― Lillian Hellman\n",
    '\nI contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than\nyou do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,\nyou will understand why I dismiss yours.\n        ― Steven Roberts\n',
    '\nI could prove God statistically.\n        ― George Gallup\n',
    "\nI didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat veggies.\n",
    '\nI do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman\nChurch, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church,\nnor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own church.\n        ― Thomas Paine\n',
    '\nI do not believe that this generation of Americans is willing to resign itself\nto going to bed each night by the light of a Communist moon...\n        ― Lyndon B. Johnson\n',
    '\nI do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.\n        ― Isaac Asimov\n',
    '\nI do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us\nwith sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.\n        ― Galileo Galilei\n',
    '\nI do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nI do not know myself, and God forbid that I should.\n        ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe\n',
    "\nI do not mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language\nI don't understand.\n        ― Sir Edware Appleton\n",
    "\nI don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians\ndon't believe in astrology.\n        ― James R. F. Quirk\n",
    "\nI don't care if I'm a lemming. I'm not going.\n",
    "\nI don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!\n        ― Vidiu Platon\n",
    "\nI don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n",
    "\nI don't like spreading rumors, but what else can you do with them?\n",
    "\nI dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business\non earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment\nhe has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual\nbecoming, with a goal in front and not behind.\n        ― George Bernard Shaw\n",
    '\nI dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be\nquestioned about their motives.\n        ― Leray Scifres\n',
    '\nI either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n',
    "\nI fart in your general direction, tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms.\n",
    "\nI generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.\n        ― Mae West\n",
    '\nI get the feeling that as soon as something appears in the paper, it ceases to\nbe true.\n        ― T-Bone Burnett\n',
    "\nI glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving.\nI rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read\nthe news themselves.\n        ― George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.; September 21, 2003\n",
    '\nI go to seek a great perhaps.\n        ― Francois Rabelais\n',
    '\nI had a great idea this morning but I did not like it.\n        ― Anon\n',
    "\nI had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.\n        ― Samuel Goldwyn\n",
    '\nI hate quotations.\n        ― Ralph Waldo Emerson\n',
    "\nI have a simple philosophy:\n        Fill what's empty.\n        Empty what's full.\n        Scratch where it itches.\n        ― A. R. Longworth\n",
    '\nI have discovered the heart of bushido: to die!\n        ― Yamamoto Tsunetomo\n',
    '\nI have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.\n        ― Clarence Darrow\n',
    "\nI haven't lost my mind ― it's backed up on tape somewhere.\n",
    "\nI haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.\n",
    '\nI judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents\nbecome better people as a result of practicing it.\n        ― Joe Mullally, computer salesman\n',
    '\nI just thought of something funny...your mother.\n        ― Cheech Marin\n',
    '\nI like a man who grins when he fights.\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    "\nI like being single. I'm always there when I need me.\n        ― Art Leo\n", "\nI like the future, I'm in it.\n",
    '\nI maintain there is much more wonder in science than in pseudoscience. And\nin addition, to whatever measure this term has any meaning, science has the\nadditional virtue, and it is not an inconsiderable one, of being true.\n        ― Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer,\n           Vol. 12, Fall 87\n',
    '\nI must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts.\n',
    '\nI never fail to convince an audience that the best thing they could do\nwas to go away.\n',
    "\nI never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.\n",
    '\nI profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.\n        ― William F. Buckley\n',
    '\nI program, therefore I am.\n',
    "\nI put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of tennis\nsocks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for: If they think\nyou're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go crude. I'm a\nvery technical boy. So I decided to get as crude as possible. These days,\nthough, you have to be pretty technical before you can even aspire to\ncrudeness.\n        ― Johnny Mnemonic, by William Gibson\n",
    '\nI regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of\noral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate\ncommerce.\n        ― J. Edgar Hoover\n',
    '\nI regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of\noral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate\ncommerce.\n        ― J. Edgar Hoover\n',
    "\nI sat through it. Why shouldn't you?\n        ― David Letterman, it a spot promoting one of his shows\n",
    "\nI saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's.\n",
    '\nI see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,\nStraining upon the start. The game\'s afoot.\n        ― King Henry V, "Henry V", Act III, Scene 1\n',
    '\nI simply try to aid in letting the light of historical truth into that decaying\nmass of outworn thought which attaches the modern world to medieval conceptions\nof Christianity, and which still lingers among us―a most serious barrier to\nreligion and morals, and a menace to the whole normal evolution of society.\n        ― Andrew D. White, author, first president of Cornell University, 1896\n',
    "\nI support everyone's right to be an idiot. I may need it someday.\n",
    "\nI think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's ass.\n        ― Senator Barry Goldwater, when asked what he thought of\n           Jerry Falwell's suggestion that all good Christians should be\n           against Sandra Day O'Connor's nomination to the Supreme Court\n",
    "\nI think Microsoft named .NET so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing.\n        ― Oktal\n",
    "\nI think people are reacting to what they perceive to be your simplistic and\nfetishistic understanding of the economy, which is becoming more and more\npronouncedly so in its outward manifestations as you react to your\nmisunderstanding of people's reactions to your reaction to what you perceived\nas Sam's simplistic and fetishistic understanding of the economy.\n        ― Gordan Todorovac\n",
    '\nI think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    "\nI think time is crucial to anything. For example, if you lock an infinite\nnumber of monkeys in a room with those typewriters, but you limit the\namount of time they have to write, the best you'll get out of them is the\npilot to The Dukes of Hazzard.\n        ―Doug Sykes\n",
    '\nI think trash is the most important manifestation of culture we have in my\nlifetime.\n        ― Johnny Legend\n',
    "\nI think we're all Bozos on this bus.\n",
    "\nI think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.\n        ― Marvin\n",
    "\nI tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it.\n",
    '\nI use not only all the brains I have but all that I can borrow.\n        ― Woodrow Wilson\n',
    "\nI used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.\n        ― Graffiti\n",
    "\nI used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance.\n",
    "\nI used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.\n",
    '\nI was brought up in the other service; but I knew from the first that the\nDevil was my natural master and captain and friend. I saw that he was in\nthe right, and that the world cringed to his conqueror only from fear.\n        ― Shaw, "The Devil\'s Disciple"\n',
    "\nI was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all\nthese aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these\nkind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and\nI wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been\navoiding the beach.\n        ― Lucinda Childs (Philip Glass: Einstein On The Beach)\n",
    '\nI went on to test the program in every way I could devise. I strained\nit to expose its weaknesses. I ran it for high-mass stars and low-mass\nstars, for stars born exceedingly hot and those born relatively cold.\nI ran it assuming the superfluid currents beneath the crust to be\nabsent ― not because I wanted to know the answer, but because I had\ndeveloped an intuitive feel for the answer in this particular case.\nFinally I got a run in which the computer showed the pulsar\'s\ntemperature to be less than absolute zero. I had found an error. I\nchased down the error and fixed it. Now I had improved the program to\nthe point where it would not run at all.\n        ― George Greenstein, "Frozen Star: Of Pulsars, Black\n                   Holes and the Fate of Stars"\n',
    "\nI will never use biometrics. I'm afraid they'll make me change my password.\n        ― Drew Sudell\n",
    '\nFew companies really work like the Borg.  Most work a lot more like the Holy\nRoman Empire. News often takes weeks to travel from castle to castle by\nminstrel.\n        ― Drew Sudell\n',
    '\n[The Ramones\'] "I Wanna Be Sedated" should be played loud, poorly, and in\nsome dingy club where you\'d get grounded if your folks found out you were\nthere, not quietly while strolling down the freezer aisle.\n        ― Drew Sudell\n',
    '\nI will contend that conceptual integrity is *the* most important consideration\nin system design.\n        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., _The Mythical Man Month_\n',
    '\nI wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There\'s\na knob called "brightness", but it doesn\'t work.\n        ― Gallagher\n',
    '\nI wish they all could be California girls.\n', '\nI wish you humans would leave me alone.\n',
    '\nI would defend the liberty of consenting adult creationists to practice\nwhatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own\nhomes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.\n        ― Arthur C. Clarke\n',
    "\nI would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have\ngotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the\nmissiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.\n        ― Oliver North\n",
    "\nI wouldn't mind dying ― it's that business of having to stay dead that\nscares the shit out of me.\n        ― R. Geis\n",
    "\nI'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.\n",
    "\nI'll tell you what kind of guy I was. If you ordered a boxcar full of\nsons-of-bitches and opened the door and only found me inside, you could\nconsider the order filled.\n        ― Robert Mitchum\n",
    "\nI'm a misanthrope. What's your fucking problem?\n",
    "\nI'm growing older, but not up.\n        ― Jimmy Buffett\n",
    "\nI'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?\n        ― Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate\n",
    "\nI'm mad, and that's a fact./I found out animals don't help.\nAnimals think they're pretty smart./Shit on the ground, see in the dark.\n        ― Talking Heads (Fear of Music)\n",
    "\nI'm not breaking the rules. I'm just testing their elasticity.\n",
    "\nI'm not expendable, I'm not stupid, and I'm not going.\n", "\nI've got a bad feeling about this.\n",
    "\nI've had fun before. This isn't it.\n",
    "\nI've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but I've seen more\nof them who were paralyzed in the head.\n        ― George Wallace\n",
    '\nIdiot Box, n.: The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the\nstamp when they can\'t quite figure it out for themselves.\n        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"\n',
    '\nIdiot, n.: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human\naffairs has always been dominant and controlling.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nIf A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law.\n        ― Roy Santoro\n',
    '\nIf God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.\n        ― Yiddish saying\n',
    '\nIf God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?\n',
    "\nIf I had a hammer, I'd use it on Peter, Paul and Mary.\n        ― Howard Rosenberg\n",
    '\nIf I had any humility I would be perfect.\n        ― Ted Turner\n',
    '\nIf Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves\nupon execution.\n        ― Robert Sewell\n',
    '\nIf Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They\nwould ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.\n        ― Thomas Carlyle\n',
    "\nIf Murphy's Law were true, every time you tried to take a breath, all the\nair would be on the other side of the room.\n",
    "\nIf a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.\n",
    '\nIf a group of N persons implements a COBOL compiler, there will be N-1\npasses. Someone in the group has to be the manager.\n        ― T. Cheatham\n',
    "\nIf a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake\nhim up.\n",
    '\nIf a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him better,\nand (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical science can\nconvince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health.\n        ― Sir Peter Medawar, The Art of the Soluble\n',
    '\nIf all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular\nerror.\n        ― John Kenneth Galbraith\n',
    "\nIf all the philosophers in the world were laid end to end, they wouldn't\nreach a conclusion.\n",
    '\nIf all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end\nacross the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.\n',
    "\nIf all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.\n        ― Paul Beatty\n",
    "\nIf all the world's economists were laid end to end, we wouldn't reach a\nconclusion.\n        ― William Baumol\n",
    "\nIf an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented\nit isn't worth the effort.\n",
    '\nIf anything can go wrong, it will.\n', "\nIf at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.\n",
    "\nIf at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.\n",
    "\nIf at first you don't succeed, redefine success.\n",
    '\nIf atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is\nidentified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a\ncollection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then\nI have no doubt, and I think few people doubt, that atheists are as\nplentiful as blackberries...\n        ― Leslie Stephen (1832-1904), literary essayist, author\n',
    '\nIf bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four\ntellers?\n',
    '\nIf entropy is increasing, where is it coming from?\n',
    "\nIf everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.\n",
    '\nIf guns are outlawed, how will we shoot the liberals?\n',
    '\nIf I was a religious person, I would consider creationism nothing less than\nblasphemy. Do its adherents imagine that God is a cosmic hoaxer who has\ncreated that whole vast fossil record for the sole purpose of misleading\nmankind?\n        ― Arthur C. Clarke, June 5, 1998, in the essay "Presidents, Experts,\n           and Asteroids"\n',
    "\nIf ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?\n",
    '\nIf imprinted foil seal under cap is broken or missing when purchased, do not\nuse.\n',
    "\nIf it ain't broke, don't fix it.\n        ― Bert Lantz\n",
    "\nIf it doesn't come from you, shouldn't it come from Gerber?\n        ― Bristol Meyers baby formula ad\n",
    "\nIf it has syntax, it isn't user friendly.\n", '\nIf it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.\n',
    "\nIf it weren't for Newton, we wouldn't have to eat bruised apples.\n",
    "\nIf it's Tuesday, this must be someone else's fortune.\n",
    "\nIf it's working, the diagnostics say it's fine.\nIf it's not working, the diagnostics say it's fine.\n        ― A proposed addition to rules for realtime programming\n",
    '\nIf life is a stage, I want some better lighting.\n',
    '\nIf mathematically you end up with the wrong answer, try multiplying by\nthe page number.\n',
    "\nIf money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it.\n",
    '\nIf not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.\n',
    '\nIf one year is seven dog years, then one day is a dog week.\n',
    '\nIf only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit\nin my name at a Swiss Bank.\n        ― Woody Allen\n',
    '\nIf only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit\nin my name at a Swiss bank.\n        ― Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"\n',
    '\nIf only I could be respected without having to be respectable.\n',
    '\nIf only one could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without\nhaving to accomplish anything.\n',
    '\nIf people were required to know the law rather than obey it, the government\nwould be overthrown the very next day.\n',
    '\nIf scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of\narithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the\nphysical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker\nentirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.\n        ― Vannevar Bush\n',
    '\nIf someone gives you a lemon, make lemonade.\n        ― D. Woodhouse\n',
    '\nIf someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.\n        ― Pope John Paul I\n',
    '\nIf someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would\nsuggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only\nfair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966,\nonly two went back to women.\n        ― Mort Sahl\n',
    "\nIf something's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.\n",
    '\nIf the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would\npresumably flunk it.\n        ― Stanley Garn\n',
    '\nIf the bulk of American SF can be said to be written by robots, about\nrobots, for robots, then the bulk of English fantasy seems to be written\nby rabbits, about rabbits and for rabbits.\n        ― Michael Moorcock\n',
    '\nIf the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.\n        ― Norm Schryer\n',
    '\nIf the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.\n',
    '\nIf the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are\n50-50 it will.\n',
    '\nIf the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of a\ncircuit, I see no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted\ninstantaneously by electricity.\n        ― Samuel F. B. Morse\n',
    '\nIf the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down. If\nthe weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down. If the\nbulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance will\nexceed all expectations.\n        ― Reverend Chichester\n',
    '\nIf there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.\n',
    '\nIf there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that\nwill cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.\n',
    '\nIf there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?\n        ― Art Hoppe\n',
    "\nIf this country is worth saving, it's worth saving at a profit.\n        ― H. L. Hunt\n",
    "\nIf this fortune didn't exist, somebody would have invented it.\n",
    '\nIf time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?\n',
    '\nIf two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is\ndoing the thinking.\n        ― Lyndon Baines Johnson\n',
    '\nIf voting could really change the system, it would be against the law.\n',
    '\nIf we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are\nheaded.\n',
    '\nIf we do not change our direction, we might end up were we are headed.\n',
    '\nIf we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution\ninevitiable.\n        ― John F. Kennedy\n',
    '\nIf you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play\nfor awhile.\n',
    '\nIf you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.\n',
    '\nIf you are willing to die, you can do anything.\n',
    '\nIf you build something a fool can use, only a fool will want it.\n',
    "\nIf you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.\n",
    '\nIf you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.\n',
    "\nIf you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n",
    "\nIf you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.\n",
    '\nIf you cannot convince them, confuse them.\n        ― Harry S Truman\n',
    '\nIf you cannot take a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen.\n        ― Nikita Khrushchev\n',
    "\nIf you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.\n",
    '\nIf you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.\n',
    '\nIf you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it\nwill always do it.\n        ― Les Aspin, D., Wisconsin\n',
    "\nIf you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.\n",
    '\nIf you have to push so hard that you break your penis, you are doing\nsomething wrong.\n        — Frank McLaughlin\n',
    '\nIf you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some.\n',
    '\nIf you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.\n        ― Graham Summer\n',
    '\nIf you make a mistake, you right it immediately to the best of your ability.\n',
    "\nIf you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you\nreally make them think they'll hate you.\n",
    "\nIf you meet somebody who tells you that he loves you more than anybody\nin the whole wide world, don't trust him. It means he experiments.\n",
    '\nIf you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.\n        ― Maslow\n',
    '\nIf you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure\ncan go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly\ndevelop.\n',
    '\nIf you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink vending machine,\nyou won\'t get any ice. If you push the "no ice" button, you\'ll get\nice, but no cup.\n',
    '\nIf you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But\nthis garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is\nsomehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.\n',
    '\nIf you see someone without a smile, give them yours.\n        ― Anonymous\n',
    '\nIf you substitute other kinds of intellectual property into the GNU\nmanifesto, it quickly becomes absurd.\n        ― Cal Keegan\n',
    "\nIf you suspect a man, don't employ him.\n",
    '\nIf you think before you speak, the other guy gets his joke in first.\n',
    '\nIf you think education is expensive, try ignorance.\n        ― Derek Bok, president of Harvard\n',
    "\nIf you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car\npayments.\n        ― Earl Wilson\n",
    '\nIf you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest\nshopping center in the world?\n        ― Richard M. Nixon\n',
    "\nIf you want to eat hippopotamus, you've got to pay the freight.\n        ― some IBM guy\n",
    '\nIf you work hard and do your homework, you can grow up and get a job doing\nhomework.\n        ― former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer\n',
    '\nIf you\'ll excuse me a minute, I\'m going to have a cup of coffee.\n        ― broadcast from Apollo 11\'s LEM, "Eagle", to Johnson Space Center,\n           Houston, July 20, 1969, 7:27 P.M.\n',
    "\nIf you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for\ntomorrow morning, sleep late.\n        ― Henny Youngman\n",
    "\nIf you're happy, you're successful.\n", "\nIf you're not careful, you're going to catch something.\n",
    "\nIf you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.\n",
    "\nIf you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.\n        ― Benjamin Disraeli\n",
    "\nIf you've done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it\noff with dinner at Milliway's, the restaurant at the end of the\nuniverse?\n",
    "\nIf you've seen one Grand Canyon, you've seen them all.\n        ― a member of the Monkey Wrench Gang\n",
    "\nIf you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all.\n        ― Spiro Agnew\n",
    "\nIf you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.\n        ― Ronald Reagan\n",
    '\nIf your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.\n',
    '\nIgnorance is the Mother of Devotion.\n        ― Robert Burton\n',
    "\nIgnorance is when you don't know anything and somebody finds it out.\n", '\nIgnore previous fortune.\n',
    "\nI'll play with it first and tell you what it is later.\n        ― Miles Davis\n",
    "\nIllinois isn't exactly the land that God forgot ― it's more like the\nland He's trying to ignore.\n",
    '\nImagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.\n        ― Jules de Gaultier\n',
    '\nImitation is the sincerest form of plagiarism.\n',
    '\nImitation is the sincerest form of television.\n        ― Fred Allen\n',
    '\nImmortality ― a fate worse than death.\n        ― Edgar A. Shoaff\n',
    '\nImpartial, adj.: Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from\nespousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting\nopinions.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nImportant letters which contain no errors will develop errors in the\nmail. Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the\nBoss is reading it.\n',
    "\nIn America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one\nof the risks he takes.\n        ― Adlai Stevenson\n",
    '\nIn English, every word can be verbed. Would that it were so in our\nprogramming languages.\n',
    "\nIn a five year period we can get one superb programming language. Only,\nwe can't control when the five year period will begin.\n",
    '\nIn an organization, each person rises to the level of his own incompetence.\n        ― The Peter Principle\n',
    '\nIn any formula, constants (especially those obtained from handbooks)\nare to be treated as variables.\n',
    '\nIn arguing that current theories of brain function cast suspicion on ESP,\npsychokinesis, reincarnation, and so on, I am frequently challenged with\nthe most popular of all neuro-mythologies ― the notion that we ordinarily\nuse only 10 percent of our brains...\n\nThis "cerebral spare tire" concept continues to nourish the clientele of\n"pop psychologists" and their many recycling self-improvement schemes. As\na metaphor for the fact that few of us fully exploit our talents, who could\ndeny it? As a refuge for occultists seeking a neural basis of the miraculous,\nit leaves much to be desired.\n        ― Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Conciousness: Implications for\n           Psi Phenomena", The Skeptical Enquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2, pg. 171\n',
    '\nIn every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty. He\nis always in alliance with the despot.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to Horatio G. Spafford, 1814\n',
    '\nIn general, it is best to assume that the network is filled with malevolent\nentities that will send in packets designed to have the worst possible effect.\n        ― the draft "Requirements for Internet Hosts" RFC\n',
    '\nIn marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.\n',
    '\nIn order to succeed in any enterprise, one must be persistent and patient.\nEven if one has to run some risks, one must be brave and strong enough to\nmeet and overcome vexing challenges to maintain a successful business in\nthe long run. I cannot help saying that Americans lack this necessary\nchallenging spirit today.\n        ― Hajime Karatsu\n',
    '\nIn our civilization, and under our republican form of government,\nintelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the\ncares of office.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    "\nIn software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the\nonly measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the\ncustomer's shifting idea of what their problem is.\n        ― Jeff Atwood\n",
    '\nIn the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to\ndrop out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at\ndiscotheques.\n        ― Art Linkletter\n',
    "\nIn the beginning I was made. I didn't ask to me made. No one consulted me\nor considered my feelings in this matter. But if it brought some passing\nfancy to some lowly humans as they haphazardly pranced their way through\nlife's mournful jungle then so be it.\n        ― Marvin the Paranoid Android\n",
    "\nIn the face of entropy and nothingness, you kind of have to pretend it's not\nthere if you want to keep writing good code.\n        ― Karl\n",
    '\nIn the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.\n        ― L. Pasteur\n',
    "\nIn the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in\nthe proper order then why can't he?\n",
    '\n[In the future], people like me will be underground and hunted.\n        ― Chuck Murcko, 1995 (at an employer-sponsored brainstorming session)\n',
    '\nIn Sedona, "Namaste" means "What can I sell you?"\n        ― Chuck Murcko\n',
    "\nIn the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.\nYou'll throw them out because your house will be littered with them.\n        ― Robert Lucky\n",
    '\nIn the land of the dark, the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead.\n        ― Egyptian Book of the Dead\n',
    '\nIn the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.\n        ― Alan Perlis\n',
    '\nIn the market, there can be no such thing as exploitation.\n        ― Murray Rothbard\n',
    '\nIn the pitiful, multipage, connection-boxed form to which the flowchart has\ntoday been elaborated, it has proved to be useless as a design tool ―\nprogrammers draw flowcharts after, not before, writing the programs they\ndescribe.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    '\nIn the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true\nor becomes true.\n        ― John Lilly\n',
    '\nIn the realm of scientific observation, luck is granted only to those who are\nprepared.\n        ― Louis Pasteur\n',
    "\nIn theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they're different.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n",
    "\nIn this world, Truth can wait; she's used to it.\n", '\nIncest, n.: Sibling revelry.\n',
    '\nInformation Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose\njob it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.\n',
    '\nIngrate, n.: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of\nindigestion.\n',
    '\nInjustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.\n        ― Martin Luther King, Jr.\n',
    '\nInnovation is hard to schedule.\n        ― Dan Fylstra\n',
    '\nInsanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.\n        ― Erma Bombeck\n',
    '\nInsanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.\n',
    "\nInsanity is the final defense ... It's hard to get a refund when the\nsalesman is sniffing your crotch and baying at the moon.\n",
    '\nInside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.\n', '\nIntegrity has no need for rules.\n',
    '\nInterpreter, n.: One who enables two persons of different languages to\nunderstand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to\nthe interpreter\'s advantage for the other to have said.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nIntense feeling too often obscures the truth.\n        ― Harry S Truman\n',
    '\nIron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.\n',
    '\nIs it not strange that the descendants of those Pilgrim Fathers who crossed\nthe Atlantic to preserve their own freedom have always proved the most\nintolerant of the spiritual liberty of others?\n        ― Robert E. Lee, in a letter to President Franklin Pierce\n',
    '\nIs it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to\nbe discarded: that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?\n',
    '\nIs life worth living? It depends on the liver.\n        ― Herbert Beerbohm Tree\n',
    '\nIs not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of\nthe world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as\nare out wish to get in?\n        ― Ralph Emerson\n',
    "\nIsn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune\ntellers take economists seriously?\n",
    "\nIssawi's Laws of Progress:\n1. The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.\n2. The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.\n",
    '\nIt could be worse, you could be in Cleveland.\n',
    '\nIt does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God.\nIt neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nIt has been observed that one\'s nose is never so happy as when it is\nthrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have\ndrawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nIt has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of\ngiants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said\nthat the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of\nother midgets.\n        ― Alan Cooper\n',
    '\nIt has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.\n',
    "\nIt is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.\n", '\nIt is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.\n',
    '\nIt is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.\n        ― Willie Sutton\n',
    '\nIt is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.\nWhat fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing\nthoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?\n        ― Alan Perlis\n',
    "\nIt is amusing that a virtue is made of the vice of chastity; and it's a\npretty odd sort of chastity at that, which leads men straight into the\nsin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their color.\n        ― Voltaire\n",
    '\nIt is bad luck to be superstitious.\n        ― Andrew W. Mathis\n',
    '\nIt is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.\n',
    '\nIt is clear that the individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because\nhe is not of the same opinion, is a monster.\n        ― Voltaire\n',
    '\nIt is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly\nand try another. But above all, try something.\n        ― Franklin D. Roosevelt\n',
    '\nIt is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both\nincisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by\ntwelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.\n        ― R. Serling\n',
    '\nIt is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both\nincisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by\ntwelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.\n        ― Rod Serling\n',
    '\nIt is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice\nversa.\n',
    "\nIt is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.\n",
    '\nIt is easier to get forgiveness than permission.\n', '\nIt is easier to run down a hill than up one.\n',
    '\nIt is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct\none.\n',
    '\nIt is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because\nif you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.\n        ― Dolph Sharp, "I\'m O.K., You\'re Not So Hot"\n',
    '\nIt is happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.\n        ― S. Johnson\n',
    '\nIt is important to note that probably no large operating system using current\ndesign technology can withstand a determined and well-coordinated attack,\nand that most such documented penetrations have been remarkably easy.\n        ― B. Hebbard, "A Penetration Analysis of the Michigan Terminal\n           System", Operating Systems Review, Vol. 14, No. 1, June 1980,\n           pp. 7-20\n',
    '\nIt is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.\n        ― "Industry at Work," Oilways, n2., 1972, pp. 16-17. Humble Oil\n           & Refining Company., Houston, TX\n',
    "\nIt is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not\ndesirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.\n        ― Woody Allen\n",
    '\nIt is inconceivable that a judicious observer from another solar system\nwould see in our species ― which has tended to be cruel, destructive,\nwasteful, and irrational ― the crown and apex of cosmic evolution.\nViewing us as the culmination of *anything* is grotesque; viewing us as a\ntransitional species makes more sense ― and gives us more hope.\n        ― Betty McCollister, "Our Transitional Species",\n           Free Inquiry magazine, Vol. 8, No. 1\n',
    '\nIt is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.\n',
    '\nIt is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the\nproblem.\n',
    '\nIt is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat\nsomebody.\n        ― Richard M. Nixon\n',
    '\nIt is not best to swap horses while crossing the river.\n        ― Abraham Lincoln\n',
    '\nIt is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.\n        ― Gore Vidal\n',
    "\nIt is not true that life is one damn thing after another ― it's one\ndamn thing over and over.\n        ― Edna St. Vincent Millay\n",
    '\nIt is not well to be thought of as one who meekly submits to insolence and\nintimidation.\n',
    '\nIt is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?\n        ― Elizabeth Carpenter\n',
    '\nIt is now pitch dark. If you proceed, you will likely fall into a\npit.\n',
    '\nIt is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that\nvirginity could be a virtue.\n        ― Voltaire\n',
    '\nIt is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.\n',
    '\nIt is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the\nlowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as\nhigh as the eagle?\n',
    '\nIt is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a\nstatue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more\nglorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through\nwhich we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the\nday, that is the highest of arts.\n        ― Henry David Thoreau, "Where I Live"\n',
    '\nIt is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.\n        ― Robert Bly\n',
    '\nIt is the business of little minds to shrink.\n        ― Carl Sandburg\n',
    '\nIt is the business of the future to be dangerous.\n        ― Hawkwind\n',
    '\nIt is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to\nthe active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is\neternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the\nconsequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt.\n        ― John Philpot Curran: Speech upon the Right of Election, 1790.\n           (Speeches. Dublin, 1808.)\n',
    '\nIt is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.\n        ― Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C. - A.D. 65)\n',
    '\nIt is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.\n',
    '\nIt is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe anything upon\ninsufficient evidence.\n        ― W. K. Clifford, British philosopher, circa 1876\n',
    '\nIt is your destiny.\n        ― Darth Vader\n',
    "\nIt just goes to show what you can do if you're a total psychotic.\n        ― Woody Allen\n",
    '\nIt looks like blind screaming hedonism won out.\n',
    '\nIt may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a\nwarning to others.\n',
    '\nIt may soon be time for you to look for a new line of work.\n', '\nIt often works better if you plug it in.\n',
    '\nIt seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.\n',
    '\nIt seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.\n',
    '\nIt takes a long time to understand nothing.\n        ― Edward Dahlberg\n',
    '\nIt turned out that the worm exploited three or four different holes in the\nsystem. From this, and the fact that we were able to capture and examine some\nof the source code, we realized that we were dealing with someone very sharp,\nprobably not someone here on campus.\n        ― Dr. Richard LeBlanc, associate professor of ICS, quoted\n           in "The Technique," Georgia Tech\'s newspaper, after the computer\n           worm hit the Internet\n',
    '\nIt was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.\n',
    "\nIt was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been\nalways thus.\n        ― Dean Lattimer\n",
    '\nIt was the Law of the Sea, they said.  Civilization ends at the waterline.\nBeyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.\n        ― Hunter S. Thompson\n',
    '\nIt will be advantageous to cross the great stream ... the Dragon is on\nthe wing in the Sky ... the Great Man rouses himself to his Work.\n',
    '\nIt works better if you plug it in.\n',
    "\nIt's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.\n        ― Andrew Jackson\n",
    "\nIt's a fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.\n",
    "\nIt's a poor workman who blames his tools.\n", "\nIt's all in the mind, ya know.\n",
    "\nIt's better to burn out than it is to rust.\n", "\nIt's better to burn out than to fade away.\n",
    "\nIt's currently a problem of access to gigabits through punybaud.\n        ― J. C. R. Licklider\n",
    "\nIt's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.\n",
    "\nIt's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for\nbeing right.\n",
    "\nIt's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.\n",
    "\nIt's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it\nis. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It\nisn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.\n        ― Oxford University Press, Edpress News\n",
    "\nIt's later than you think.\n", "\nIt's like deja vu all over again.\n        ― Yogi Berra\n",
    "\nIt's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong\ndirection.\n",
    "\nIt's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.\n        ― Phil White\n",
    "\nIt's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.\n        ― Alexander Korda\n",
    "\nIt's not hard to meet expenses; they're everywhere.\n",
    "\nIt's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your bedroom\nwindow or outside your bedroom, period.\n        ― Groucho Marx\n",
    "\nIt's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless\nworld. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less\ncruel and heartless.\n        ― L.R. Knost\n",
    "\nIt's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.\n",
    "\nIt's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it\nhappens.\n        ― Woody Allen\n",
    "\nIt's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.\n",
    "\nIt's not what we don't know that gets us into trouble, it's what we know that\nain't so.\n        ― Will Rogers\n",
    "\nIt's really quite a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.\n",
    "\nIt's smart to pick your friends - but not to pieces.\n",
    "\nIt's so humid, you could poach an egg on the sidewalk.\n",
    "\nJacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government: No man's life, liberty, or\nproperty are safe while the legislature is in session.\n",
    "\nJay's First Law: The classic hierarchy consists of one man at the top with\nthree below him, each of who has three below him, and so on with fearful\nsymmetry unto the seventh generation, by which stage there is a row of 729\nmanagers.\n        ― Antony Jay, Management and Machiavelli, 1967\n",
    "\nJenkinson's Law: It won't work.\n",
    "\nJesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.\n        ― Michael O'Donoghue\n",
    '\nJesus was killed by a Moral Majority.\n', "\nJizz changes everything. It's science!\n        ― Jim Chapman\n",
    '\nJohn Birch Society ― that pathetic manifestation of organized apoplexy.\n        ― Edward P. Morgan\n',
    "\nJohnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so\nat the most inconvenient possible time.\n",
    "\nJones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone\nto blame it on.\n",
    "\nJones' Law of Hierarchical Limits: As an administrator, you need to give\nten pats on the head for each kick in the butt. This is the reason for\nkeeping the number of people reporting to you a fairly small number.\nOtherwise, you will run out of hands, but still have an overcapacity in feet.\n",
    "\nJones' Motto: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.\n",
    "\nJones's First Law:\n        Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of\n        endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an\n        obstruction to its progress ― in direct proportion to the\n        importance of their original contribution.\n",
    "\nJournalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.\n",
    '\nJury ― Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.\n',
    "\nJust because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.\n        ― Southern California Oracle\n",
    "\nJust because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.\n",
    "\nJust because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows\nwhat it is.\n",
    "\nJust because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he\nknows what it is.\n",
    '\nJust give Alice some pencils and she will stay busy for hours.\n        ― B. Kliban\n',
    "\nJust once I'd like to meet an alien menace that isn't immune to bullets.\n        ― The Brigadier, Dr. Who.\n",
    "\nJust remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to\ntwelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!\n",
    '\nJust remember: you\'re not a "dummy," no matter what those computer books\nclaim. The real dummies are the people who―though technically\nexpert―couldn\'t design hardware and software that\'s usable by normal\nconsumers if their lives depended upon it.\n        ― Walter Mossberg\n',
    '\nJustice is incidental to law and order.\n        ― J. Edgar Hoover\n',
    '\nJustice, like lightning, should ever appear\nTo some men hope, to other men fear.\n        ― Jefferson Pierce\n',
    '\nJustice: A decision in your favor.\n',
    "\nKarl's version of Parkinson's Law: Work expands to exceed the time allotted it.\n",
    "\nKatz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities\nhave been exhausted.\n",
    '\nKeep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.\n',
    '\nKeep in mind always the two constant Laws of Frisbee:\n1. The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land\n   under a car, just out of reach. (This force is technically termed "car\n   suck.")\n2. Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive than "Watch this!"\n',
    '\nKen Thompson has an automobile which he helped design. Unlike most\nautomobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gage, nor any of the\nnumerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver. Rather, if the driver\nmakes any mistake, a giant "?" lights up in the center of the dashboard.\n"The experienced driver", he says, "will usually know what\'s wrong."\n',
    "\nKetterling's Law: Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.\n",
    "\nKinkler's First Law: Responsibility always exceeds authority.\nKinkler's Second Law: All the easy problems have been solved.\n",
    '\nKlein bottle for rent, apply within.\n',
    '\nKnow what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.\n        ― Henry N. Camp\n',
    "\nL'extension des privileges des femmes est le principe general de tous progres\nsociaux.\n        ― Charles Fourier, 1808\n",
    '\nLabor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nLack of skill dictates economy of style.\n        ― Joey Ramone\n',
    '\nLactomangulation, n.: Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so\nbadly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.\n        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"\n',
    '\nLaissez Faire Economics is the theory that if each acts like a vulture,\nall will end as doves.\n',
    '\nLargely because it is so tangible and exciting a program and as such will\nserve to keep alive the interest and enthusiasm of the whole spectrum of\nsociety...It is justified because...the program can give a sense of shared\nadventure and achievement to the society at large.\n        ― Dr. Colin S. Pittendrigh, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"\n',
    "\nLarkinson's Law: All laws are basically false.\n",
    "\nLaugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.\n",
    '\nLaw of Communications: The inevitable result of improved and enlarged\ncommunications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly\nincreased area of misunderstanding.\n',
    "\nLaw of Computability Applied to Social Sciences:\n        If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.\n",
    '\nLaw of Probable Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be\nevenly distributed.\n',
    '\nLaw of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.\n',
    "\nLawrence's Axiom: Anger is one letter short of danger.\n",
    '\nLaws of Computer Programming\n(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.\n(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.\n(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.\n(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.\n(5) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.\n(6) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.\n(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the\n    programmer who must maintain it.\n(8) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you\n    will find that programmers cannot write in English.\n        ― SIGPLAN Notices, Vol. 2, No. 2\n',
    "\nLazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how\ntragic your defeats ― approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.\n",
    '\nLead, follow, or get out of the way.\n        ― Anon\n',
    '\nLearned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads.\n',
    '\nLeft to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.\n',
    '\nLeisure can be justified.\nRecreation maximizes productive stamina.\nPlay is not the opposite of work.\nIdleness consolidates thought.\n        ― Thomas "Sam" Frantz\n',
    '\nLend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.\n',
    '\nLet He who taketh the Plunge Remember to return it by Tuesday.\n',
    '\nLet a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.\n',
    "\nLet me play with it first and I'll tell you what it is later.\n        ― Miles Davis\n",
    '\nLet me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a\nfantasy, a terrible, terrible lie somebody gave the people long ago.\n        ― Lenny Bruce\n',
    '\nLet not the sands of time get in your lunch.\n', '\nLet the machine do the dirty work.\n',
    '\nLet us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us\nrestore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which\nliberty and even life itself are but dreary things. And let us reflect\nthat having banished from our land that religious intolerance under which\nmankind so long bled, we have yet gained little if we countenance a\npolitical intolerance as despotic, as wicked, and capable of a bitter and\nbloody persecutions.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    "\nLet's give discredit where discredit is due.\n        ― Karl Lehenbauer\n",
    "\nLewis's Law of Travel:\n        The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to\n        anyone, ever.\n",
    '\nLiar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nLiar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.\n',
    '\nLiberty is the mother not the daughter of order.\n        ― Proudhon\n',
    '\nLie: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.\n',
    "\nLieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.\n",
    '\nLies written in ink can never disguise facts written in blood. Blood debts\nmust be repaid in kind. The longer the delay, the greater the interest.\n        ― Chinese author Lu Xun, 1926\n',
    '\nLife in a free society is friendly, prosperous, pleasant, cultured, and\never-longer.\n        ― Jeff Daiell, 1989, in counterpoint to Hobbes\n',
    '\nLife in the state of nature is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.\n        ― Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan\n',
    '\nLife is a pinball machine. You bounce around for a while, and then you drain.\n        ― Joe Bak\n',
    '\nLife is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.\n',
    "\nLife is full of surprises when you're up th' stream of consciousness\nwithout a paddle...\n        ― Zippy the Pinhead\n",
    '\nLife is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find\nthere is nothing in it.\n',
    "\nLife is not one thing after another, it's the same damned thing over and over.\n",
    '\nLife is the application of noble and profound ideas to life.\n        ― Matthew Arnold\n',
    "\nLife is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.\n        ― John Wayne\n",
    '\nLife is wasted on the living.\n        ― Zaphod Beeblebrox IV\n',
    '\nLife is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.\n',
    "\nLife's greatest gift is natural talent.\n        ― P. K. Thomajan\n",
    "\nLife. Don't talk to me about life.\n        ― Marvin the Paranoid Anroid\n",
    '\nLike so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made\nsense from things she found in gift shops.\n        ― Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.\n',
    '\nLike the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking\nfor girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem.\n        ― Alan McKay\n',
    '\nLike winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.\n',
    '\nLine Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.\n',
    "\nlisten: there's a hell of a good universe next door;\n                let's go.\n        ― ee cummings\n",
    "\nLive every day like it's your last because someday you'll be right.\n", '\nLive free or die.\n',
    '\nLiving on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip\naround the Sun.\n',
    '\nLiving your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.\n',
    '\nLogic is a little bird, sitting in a tree, that smells awful.\n',
    '\nLong computations which yield 0 (zero) are probably all for naught.\n',
    '\nLong distance runners break into more pants.\n', '\nLong life is in store for you.\n',
    '\nLook under the sofa cushion; you will be surprised at what you find.\n',
    '\nLook, let me explain something to you. I\'m not Mr. Lebowski. You\'re\nMr. Lebowski. I\'m the Dude. So that\'s what you call me. That, or His\nDudeness … Duder … or El Duderino, if, you know, you\'re not into the\nwhole brevity thing.\n        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")\n',
    "\nLord, defend me from my friends; I can account for my enemies.\n        ― D'Hericault\n",
    '\nLos Angeles is a geometropolitan predicament rather than a city. You can no\nmore administer it than you could administer the solar system.\n        ― Jonathan Miller\n',
    '\nLots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.\n        ― Elbert Hubbard\n',
    '\nLove and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.\n',
    '\nLove means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver."\n',
    "\nLove your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.\n",
    "\nLowery's Law: If it jams ― force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing\nanyway.\n",
    "\nLubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.\n",
    '\nLuck is probability taken personally.\n        ― Chip Denman\n',
    '\nLuck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.\n        ― E. Letterman\n',
    '\nLunatic Asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes.\n',
    "\nLynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.\n",
    '\nMachines take me by surprise with great frequency.\n        ― Alan Turing\n',
    '\nMad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence ...\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    "\nMain's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.\n",
    "\nMaintainer's Motto: If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.\n",
    '\nMajority: That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.\n', '\nMake a wish: it might come true.\n',
    '\nMake input easy to proofread\n',
    '\nMake it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the\nprogrammers cannot write in English.\n',
    '\nMake it right before you make it faster.\n',
    "\nMake no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood.\n        ― D. B. Hudson\n",
    '\nMake sure all variables are initialized before use.\n', '\nMake sure comments and code agree.\n',
    '\nMake sure your code "does nothing" gracefully.\n',
    "\nMaking files is easy under the UNIX operating system. Therefore, users\ntend to create numerous files using large amounts of file space. It\nhas been said that the only standard thing about all UNIX systems is\nthe message-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files.\n        ― System V.2 administrator's guide\n",
    "\nMalek's Law: Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.\n",
    '\nMan is a Generalist. Specialization is for insects.\n        ― Lazarus Long\n',
    '\nMan is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called\nupon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nMan is a rationalizing animal, not a rational animal.\n        ― R. A. Heinlein\n',
    '\nMan is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the\nonly one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.\n        ― Wernher von Braun\n',
    '\nMan rarely reads the handwriting on the wall until he has his back to it.\n',
    '\nMan who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.\n',
    '\nMan who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.\n',
    '\nMan will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick\nhimself up and carry on...\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    "\nMan's horizons are bounded by his vision.\n",
    '\nMankind has yet to devise a rule that never requires exceptions.\n        ― Wayne Dyer\n',
    '\nManual, n.: A unit of documentation. There are always three or more on a\ngiven item. One is on the shelf; someone has the others. The information\nyou need is in the others.\n        ― Ray Simard\n',
    '\nMany an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist.\n',
    '\nMany are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing.\n', '\nMany are called, few volunteer.\n',
    '\nMany are cold, but few are frozen.\n',
    '\nMany are the wonders of the Universe, and none so wonderful as Mankind!\n        ― Sophocles\n',
    '\nMany changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.\n', '\nMany pages make a thick book.\n',
    '\nMany receive advice, few profit from it.\n',
    '\nMany years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon,\nthere lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he\nwas so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how\ncompletely Mournful he would be on Wednesday ...\n        ― Walt Kelly\n',
    "\nMark's Dental-Chair Discovery:\n        Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a\n        simple yes or no answer.\n",
    '\nMarriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.\n        ― Voltaire\n',
    "\nMarshall's generalized iceberg theorem: 7/8ths of everything cannot be seen.\n",
    "\nMartin's Law of Communication: The inevitable result of improved and\nenlarged communication between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly\nincreased area of misunderstanding.\n",
    '\nMatter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a\nreceipt.\n',
    '\nMaturity is only a short break in adolescence.\n        ― Jules Feiffer\n',
    '\nMaybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.\n        ― R. S. Barton\n',
    '\nMcGowan\'s Madison Avenue Axiom: If an item is advertised as "under $50",\nyou can bet it\'s not $19.95.\n',
    "\nMeader's Law: Whatever happens to you, it will previously have happened to\neveryone you know, only more so.\n",
    '\nMeasure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.\n',
    '\nMediocrity thrives on standardization.\n        ― Wayne Dyer\n', '\nMeditation is not what you think.\n',
    '\nMeeting, n.: An assembly of people coming together to decide what person or\ndepartment not represented in the room must solve a problem.\n',
    '\nMemories of you remind me of you.\n        ― Karl\n', '\nMemory should be the starting point of the present.\n',
    '\nMen love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.\n',
    '\nMen ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our\npleasures, joys, laughter, and jests as well as our sorrows, pains, griefs\nand tears. ... It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious, inspires\nus with dread and fear, whether by night or by day, brings us sleeplessness,\ninopportune mistakes, aimless anxieties, absent-mindedness and acts that are\ncontrary to habit...\n        ― Hippocrates (c. 460-c. 377 B.C.), The Sacred Disease\n',
    "\nMencken and Nathan's Fifteenth Law of The Average American:\n        The worst actress in the company is always the manager's wife.\n",
    "\nMencken and Nathan's Second Law of The Average American:\n        All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.\n",
    '\nMenu: A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.\n',
    "\nMeskimen's Law: There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to\ndo it over.\n",
    '\nMight as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of\nCasablanca.\n',
    "\nMiksch's Law: If a string has one end, then it has another end.\n",
    "\nMile's Law: where you stand depends on where you sit.\n",
    '\nMilitary intelligence is a contradiction in terms.\n        ― Groucho Marx\n',
    '\nMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.\n        ― Groucho Marx\n',
    '\nMillions long for immortality who do not know what to do with\nthemselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.\n        ― Susan Ertz\n',
    '\nMillions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is\nalmost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee,"\nthey say, "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a\nPresident who appoints the people who are going to rummage around in their\nlives for the next four years. Consider all the people who sat home in a\nstew in 1968 rather than vote for Hubert Humphrey. They showed Humphrey.\nThose people who taught Hubert Humphrey a lesson will still be enjoying the\nNixon Supreme Court when Tricia and Julie begin to find silver threads\namong the gold and the black.\n        ― Russel Baker, "Ford without Flummery"\n',
    '\nMirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.\n        ― Jean Cocteau\n',
    '\nMisery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.\n',
    "\nMiss Wormwood: What state do you live in?\nCalvin: Denial.\nMiss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that... \n",
    '\nMistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.\n', "\nMister Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.\n",
    "\nMitchell's Law of Committees:\n        Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are\n        held to discuss it.\n",
    '\nModern man is the missing link between the apes and humans.\n',
    '\nModesty is an ornament, but you go further without it.\n        ― German Proverb\n',
    '\nModesty is of no use to a beggar.\n        ― Homer\n',
    "\nMollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis: If an idea can survive a bureaucratic\nreview and be implemented it wasn't worth doing.\n",
    "\nMoney is like a sixth sense, and you can't use the other five without it.\n",
    '\nMoney, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nMorality is one thing. Ratings are everything.\n        ― A Network 23 executive on "Max Headroom"\n',
    '\nMore than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path\nleads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let\nus pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.\n        ― Woody Allen\n',
    '\nMoses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously.\n',
    "\nMosher's Law of Software Engineering:\n        Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd\n        be out of a job.\n",
    "\nMost legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot\nif the instructions were printed on the heel.\n",
    '\nMost of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are\nthree, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.\n        ― Larry Wall\n',
    "\nMother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.\n",
    "\nMr. Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the\npopulation is growing.\n",
    "\nMr. Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.\n",
    "\nMrs Podgorny: Angus how are y'going to get 48,000,000 kilts into the van?\nAngus: I'll have t'do it in two goes.\n",
    '\nMuddy water let stand will clear.\n        ― Chinese Proverb\n',
    "\nMurphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.\n",
    "\nMurphy's Law of Research: Enough research will tend to support your theory.\n",
    '\nMy answer is, bring them on.\n        ― George W. Bush, on Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces;\n           Washington, D.C.; July 3, 2003\n',
    "\nMy grandson has learned how to hold and carry the cat. He has also learned\nhow to flush the toilet. I can't help but believe that in the\nnot-too-distant future there will be another lesson in store for him.\n        ― Dave Henry\n",
    '\nMy head is bloodied, but unbowed.\n        ― From the poem "Invictus"\n',
    "\nMy life is so fucking miserable that I don't know whether I was\nborn or if Morrissey just sang me into existence.\n        ― R.K. Milholland\n",
    '\nMy mother is a fish.\n        ― William Faulkner\n',
    '\nMy opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.\n',
    '\nMy own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems,\nand I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable.... We should be\nreluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is\nindifferent to what we do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in\nwhether or not we grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to space,\nbecause the grand, slow march of intelligence has brought us, in our\ngeneration, to a point from which we can explore and understand and utilize\nit. To turn back now would be to deny our history, our capabilities.\n        ― James A. Michener\n',
    '\nMy past is my own.\n        ― The Shadow (DC Comics)\n',
    "\nNaeser's Law: You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.\n",
    '\nNatural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature,\nbecause it is a product what we can find in our neighborhoods.\n        ― George W. Bush, Austin, Texas; December 20, 2000\n',
    "\nNatural selection won't matter soon, not anywhere as much as concious\nselection. We will civilize and alter ourselves to suit our ideas of what\nwe can be. Within one more human lifespan, we will have changed ourselves\nunrecognizably.\n        ― Greg Bear\n",
    "\nNearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's\ncharacter, give him power.\n        ― Abraham Lincoln\n",
    '\nNecessity is a mother.\n',
    '\nNeil Armstrong to Walter Cronkite: "Well, Walter, I believe that the Good\nLord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I\'m damned if I\'m going to\nuse up mine running up and down a street."\n',
    '\nNeil Armstrong tripped.\n', '\nNever be led astray onto the path of virtue.\n',
    '\nNever call a man a fool; borrow from him.\n', '\nNever count your chickens before they rip your lips off.\n',
    "\nNever drink Coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with\nthe chemicals in coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change into\nlizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the\nwindow. Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows.\n",
    '\nNever insult an alligator until you have crossed the river.\n',
    '\nNever invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.\n        ― Billy Rose\n',
    '\nNever lick a gift horse in the mouth.\n', '\nNever put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.\n',
    '\nNever say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.\n',
    '\nNever throw a bird at a dragon.\n', '\nNever count your chickens until they rip your lips off.\n',
    "\nNew Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels his age, and\nhis wife most often reminds him to act it.\n        ― Webster's Unafraid Dictionary\n",
    '\nNew York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.\n        ― David Letterman\n',
    '\nNew boots, big steps.\n        ― Chinese Proverb\n', '\nNew systems generate new problems.\n',
    '\nNewlan\'s Truism:\n        An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government\n        economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.\n',
    "\nNewton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.\n",
    "\nNewton's Little-Known Seventh Law:\n        A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.\n",
    "\nNext Friday will not be your lucky day. As a matter of fact, you don't\nhave a lucky day this year.\n",
    '\nNext Wednesday you will be presented with a great opportunity.\n',
    '\nNext to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying\nas an income tax refund.\n        ― F. J. Raymond\n',
    '\nNihil tam munitum quod non expugnari pecunia possit. (No fort is so strong\nthat it cannot be taken with money.)\n        ― Cicero\n',
    '\nNihilism should commence with oneself.\n', '\nNo amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.\n',
    '\nNo guts, no glory.\n',
    '\nNo man was ever taken to hell by a woman unless he already had a ticket in\nhis pocket, or at least had been fooling around with timetables.\n        ― Archie Goodwin\n',
    "\nNo man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the Legislature is in\nsession.\n        ― Lysander Spooner\n",
    "\nNo matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up.\n",
    '\nNo matter where you go, there you are.\n        ― Buckaroo Banzai\n',
    '\nNo one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.\n',
    '\nNo one can make you feel inferior without your consent.\n        ― Eleanor Roosevelt\n',
    "\nNo one is fit to be trusted with power. ... No one. ... Any man who has lived\nat all knows the follies and wickedness he's capable of. ... And if he does\nknow it, he knows also that neither he nor any man ought to be allowed to\ndecide a single human fate.\n        ― C. P. Snow, The Light and the Dark\n",
    '\nNo one is talking behind your back as far as you know.\n',
    '\nNo one who accepts the sovereignty of truth can be a foot soldier in a party\nor movement. He will always find himself out of step.\n        ― Sidney Hook\n',
    "\nNo one's happiness but my own is in my power to achieve or to destroy.\n        ― Ayn Rand\n",
    '\nNo problem is insoluble in all conceivable circumstances.\n',
    "\nNo problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.\n",
    "\nNo problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere.\n",
    "\nNo, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough,\n'twill serve: ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man.\n        ― Mercutio, Romeo and Juliet, Act III, Scene 1\n",
    '\nNo user-serviceable parts inside. Refer to qualified service personnel.\n',
    '\nNobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.\n',
    '\nNobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.\n        ― Tallulah Bankhead\n',
    '\nNobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.\n',
    "\nNobody wants constructive criticism. It's all we can do to put up with\nconstructive praise.\n",
    '\nNon-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations:\n        Negative expectations yield negative results.\n        Positive expectations yield negative results.\n',
    '\nNondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.\n',
    '\nNone love the bearer of bad news.\n        ― Sophocles\n', "\nNostalgia isn't what it used to be.\n",
    '\nNothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.\n',
    "\nNothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.\n",
    '\nNothing ever becomes real till it is experienced ― even a proverb is no\nproverb to you till your life has illustrated it.\n        ― John Keats\n',
    '\nNothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.\n',
    '\nNothing in progression can rest on its original plan. We may as well think of\nrocking a grown man in the cradle of an infant.\n        ― Edmund Burke\n',
    '\nNothing is as repulsive as phoniness; conversely, nothing is as magnetic\nas reality.\n        ― Howard Henrichs\n',
    '\nNothing is done until nothing is done.\n',
    '\nNothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult\nthan to understand him.\n        ― Fyodor Dostoevski\n',
    '\nNothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.\n        ― Andrew Young\n',
    '\nNothing is so contagious as enthusiasm: It moves stones, and it charms brutes.\n',
    '\nNothing recedes like success.\n        ― Walt Kelly\n',
    '\nNow and then an innocent man is sent to the Legislature.\n',
    "\nNumeric stability is probably not all that important when you're guessing.\n",
    "\nO'Riordan's Theorem: Brains x Beauty = Constant.\nPurmal's Corollary: As the limit of (Brains x Beauty) goes to infinity,\navailability goes to zero.\n",
    "\nO'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.\n",
    '\nObjects on your screen are closer than they appear.\n',
    "\nObviously, a man's judgement cannot be better than the information on which\nhe has based it. Give him the truth and he may still go wrong when he has\nthe chance to be right, but give him no news or present him only with\ndistorted and incomplete data, with ignorant, sloppy or biased reporting,\nwith propaganda and deliberate falsehoods, and you destroy his whole\nreasoning processes, and make him something less than a man.\n        ― Arthur Hays Sulzberger\n",
    '\nOcean, n.: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for\nman ― who has no gills.\n',
    '\nOf all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.\n        ― Plato\n',
    '\nOf all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.\n        ― Thomas Paine\n',
    "\nOf course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.\n",
    "\nOf course, someone who knows more about this will correct me if I'm wrong,\nand someone who knows less will correct me if I'm right.\n        ― David Palmer (palmer@tybalt.caltech.edu)\n",
    "\nOgden's Law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.\n",
    "\nOh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink again.\n        ― Marvin the Paranoid Android\n",
    '\nOh, well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.\n',
    '\nOld MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.\n',
    '\nOld age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.\n        ― Trotsky\n',
    '\nOld programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.\n',
    "\nOliver's First Law of Computing: Computers are much too complex; they'll\nnever work.\n        ― Robert Oliver (circa 1982)\n",
    '\nOn a clear disk you can seek forever.\n',
    '\nOn our campus the UNIX system has proved to be not only an effective software\ntool, but an agent of technical and social change within the University.\n        ― John Lions (U. of Toronto (?))\n',
    '\nOnce ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were\nforced to live on nothing but food and water for days.\n        ― W. C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"\n',
    '\nOne Page Principle: A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11-\ninch paper cannot be understood.\n        ― Mark Ardis\n',
    '\nOne becomes a critic when one cannot be an artist, just as a man becomes a\nstool pigeon when he cannot be a soldier.\n        ― Gustave Flaubert (letter to Madame Louise Colet, August 12, 1846)\n',
    "\nOne can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.\n",
    '\nOne difference between a man and a machine is that a machine is quiet\nwhen well oiled.\n',
    '\nOne friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible.\nFriendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought,\na rivalry of aim.\n        ― Henry Brook Adams\n',
    '\nOne good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they\nnever have to stop and answer the phone.\n',
    '\nOne man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.\n',
    "\nOne may be able to quibble about the quality of a single experiment, or\nabout the veracity of a given experimenter, but, taking all the supportive\nexperiments together, the weight of evidence is so strong as readily to\nmerit a wise man's reflection.\n        ― Professor William Tiller, parapsychologist, Stanford University,\n           commenting on psi research\n",
    '\nOne millihelen: the unit of beauty required to launch just one ship\n',
    "\nOne of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible\nfrom one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at\nleast 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts\nare, of course, simply amazing. God is an extremely uneven writer, but\nwhen He's good, nobody can touch Him.\n        ― John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan 1983\n",
    '\nOne of the most misleading representational techniques in our language is\nthe use of the word "I".\n        ― Ludwig Wittgenstein\n',
    '\nOne of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we\'ve been bamboozled\nlong enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We\'re no\nlonger interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured\nus. it is simply too painful to acknowledge ― even to ourselves ― that\nwe\'ve been so credulous. (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the\nnew bamboozles rise.)\n        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection,"\n           Parade, February 1, 1987\n',
    '\nOne seldom sees a monument to a committee.\n',
    "\nOne thing the inventors can't seem to get the bugs out of is fresh paint.\n",
    '\nOne way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.\n',
    "\nOne's mind, stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimension.\n",
    '\nOnly God can make random selections.\n',
    "\nOpinions are like assholes: everyone's got one, but nobody wants to look at\nthe other guy's.\n        ― Hal Hickman\n",
    '\nOptimists say the glass is half full, pessimists say the glass is half\nempty, engineers say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.\n',
    '\nOptimization hinders evolution.\n',
    '\nOptimization is not some mystical state of grace, it is an intricate act\nof human labor which carries real costs and real risks.\n        ― Tom Neff\n',
    '\nOrdinary people: I fuckin\' hate \'em.\n        ― Harry Dean Stanton in "Repo Man"\n',
    '\nOregon, n.:\n        Eighty billion gallons of water with no place to go on Saturday\nnight.\n',
    '\nOrganic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.\nBiochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.\n        ― Mike Adams\n',
    "\nOsborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.\n",
    '\nOur journeys to the stars will be made on spaceships created by determined,\nhardworking scientists and engineers applying the principles of science, not\naboard flying saucers piloted by little gray aliens from some other dimension.\n        ― Robert A. Baker, "The Aliens Among Us: Hypnotic Regression\n           Revisited", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2\n',
    '\nOur liberty depends upon the freedom of the press, and that cannot be\nlimited without being lost.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson (1786)\n',
    '\nOur policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.\n        ― Roy L. Ash, ex-president Litton Industries\n',
    '\nOut of body, back in five minutes.\n',
    "\nOutside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too\ndark to read.\n",
    '\nOverdrawn? But I still have checks left!\n', '\nOverflow on /dev/null, please empty the bit bucket.\n',
    '\nOverload ― core meltdown sequence initiated.\n',
    '\nPHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs,\nwhereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but\nperverted professionals.\n        ― Jon Ribbens\n',
    "\nParanoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.\n",
    '\nParanoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.\n',
    "\nParanoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to\ncriticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.\n        ― D. J. Hicks\n",
    "\nParking fees that Universal Studios collected from picketers of _The Last\nTemptation of Christ_: $4,500\n        ― Harper's Index Nov. 1988\n",
    "\nParkinson's Fifth Law: If there is a way to delay in important decision,\nthe good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.\n",
    "\nParkinson's Fourth Law: The number of people in any working group tends to\nincrease regardless of the amount of work to be done.\n",
    "\nParkinson's Law: Work expands to fill the time alloted it.\n",
    '\nParts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.\n',
    "\nBenford's Law of Controversy: Passion is inversely proportional to the\namount of real information available.\n        ― Gregory Benford\n",
    '\nPassionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.\n        ― Eric Hoffer\n',
    '\nPatience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce\n',
    '\nPatriotism is the virtue of the vicious.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nPay no attention to that man behind the curtains.\n', '\nPeace: a period of cheating between two wars.\n',
    '\nPeople are very flexible and learn to adjust to strange surroundings ―\nthey can become accustomed to reading Lisp and Fortran programs, for example.\n        ― Leon Sterling and Ehud Shapiro, Art of Prolog, MIT Press\n',
    '\nPeople get lost in thought because it is unfamiliar territory.\n',
    '\nPeople often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of\nthe future.\n',
    "\nPeople think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how\nhard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.\n        ― Calvin\n",
    "\nPeople usually get what's coming to them ... unless it's been mailed.\n",
    "\nPeople who claim they don't let little things bother them have never\nslept in a room with a single mosquito.\n",
    '\nPeople who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage\nof them.\n',
    '\nPeople who look down on other people do not end up being looked up to.\n',
    '\nPeople will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that\nBenjamin Franklin said it first.\n',
    "\nPeople will buy anything that's one to a customer.\n",
    '\nPereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.\n(Confound those who have said our remarks before us.)\n        ― Aelius Donatus\n',
    '\nPerfection is achieved only on the point of collapse.\n        ― C. N. Parkinson\n',
    '\nPerpetuo vincit qui utitur clementia. (He is forever victor who employs\nclemency.)\n        ― Syrus\n',
    '\nPersonality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.\n        ― E. G. Leter\n',
    "\nPeter's Law of Substitution: Look after the molehills, and the mountains\nwill look after themselves.\n",
    '\nPhilogyny recapitulates erogeny; erogeny recapitulates philogyny.\n',
    '\nPhilosophy: Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.\n',
    '\npi seconds is a nanocentury.\n        ― Tom Duff\n',
    '\nPioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die\n        ― John W. Campbell\n',
    '\nPlagiarism is basic to all culture.\n        ― Papa Seeger\n',
    '\nPlan ahead: it was not raining when Noah built the ark.\n        ― Richard Cushing\n',
    "\nPlease don't ask me what the score is. I'm not even sure what the game is.\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n",
    "\nPlease don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the\ntruth.\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n",
    '\nPlease go away.\n', '\nPlease ignore previous fortune.\n',
    "\nPlease try to limit the amount of `this room doesn't have any bazingas'\nuntil you are told that those rooms are `punched out.' Once punched\nout, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas,\nand such.\n        ― N. Meyrowitz\n",
    '\nPlease update your programs.\n',
    "\nPoetry is nobody's business except the poet's, and everybody else can fuck off.\n        ― Philip Larkin\n",
    "\nPohl's law: Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.\n",
    '\nPolice up your spare rounds and frags. Don\'t leave nothin\' for the dinks.\n        ― Willem Dafoe in "Platoon"\n',
    '\nPolitical T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell\nall their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.\n',
    '\nPolitician, n.: From the Greek "poly" ("many") and the French "tete"\n("head" or "face," as in "tete-a-tete": head to head or face to face).\nHence "polytetien", a person of two or more faces.\n        ― Martin Pitt\n',
    '\nPoor is the pupil who does not surpass his master.\n        ― Leonardo da Vinci\n',
    '\nPositive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one\'s voice.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nPower is poison.\n', '\nPower, n: The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA.\n',
    '\nPractice is the best of all instructors.\n        ― Publilius\n',
    '\nPredestination was doomed from the start.\n',
    '\nPrediction is very difficult, especially of the future.\n        ― Niels Bohr\n',
    '\nPreserve the old, but know the new.\n', "\nPreudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning: It's on the other side.\n",
    '\nPrevalent beliefs that knowledge can be tapped from previous incarnations or\nfrom a "universal mind" (the repository of all past wisdom and creativity)\nnot only are implausible but also unfairly demean the stunning achievements\nof individual human brains.\n        ― Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Consciousness: Implications for\n           Psi Phenomena", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 163-171\n',
    '\nPrevent security leaks.\n', '\nPro is to Con as Progress is to Congress.\n',
    '\nProbably the best operating system in the world is the [operating system]\nmade for the PDP-11 by Bell Laboratories.\n        ― Ted Nelson, October 1977\n',
    '\nProclaim liberty throughout the land and to all the inhabitants thereof.\n        ― Leviticus 25:10\n',
    '\nProgramming is an art form that fights back.\n', '\nProgramming is 10', ' science, 25', ' ingenuity and 65',
    ' getting the ingenuity to\nwork with the science.\n',
    "\nProgramming is like sex: one mistake and you're providing support for a\nlifetime.\n        ― Michael Sinz\n",
    '\nProgress is nothing but the victory of laughter over dogma.\n        ― Benjamin DeCasseres\n',
    '\nPromptness is its own reward\nIf one lives by the clock instead of the sword.\n',
    '\nPronounce your prepositions, dammit!\n',
    '\nProper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the\ndowntrodden, would naturally evolve from dynamic, articulate, spirited\nawareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.\n        ― David Baker, paraphrasing Harold Urey,\n           in "The History of Manned Space Flight"\n',
    '\nPull yourself together; things are not all that bad.\n',
    '\nPut not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.\n', '\nPut your trust in those who are worthy.\n',
    "\nPutt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people:\nThose who understand what they do not manage.\nThose who manage what they do not understand.\n",
    "\nQ. What's all wrinkled and hangs out your underwear?\nA. Your mom!\n",
    '\nQ.: "Why do trans-atlantic transfers take so long?"\nA.: "Electrons don\'t swim very fast."\n',
    '\nQ: How do you play religious roulette?\nA: You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck\n   by lightning first.\n',
    '\nQ: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat ?\nA: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.\n',
    '\nQ: How many IBM CPUs does it take to execute a job?\nA: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.\n',
    '\nQ: How many IBM CPUs does it take to do a logical right shift?\nA: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.\n',
    '\nQ: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?\nA: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,\n   Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10',
    ' of\n   the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20',
    '\n   of the definitions are of the form "A ...... consists of sequences\n   of non-blank characters separated by blanks".\n',
    '\nQ: How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA: One and a half.\n',
    '\nQ: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nA: Three. One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those\n   Californians trying to share the experience.\n',
    '\nQ: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself\n   symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a\n   netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin\n   cosmos of nothingness.\n',
    '\nQ: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring\n   light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government\n   plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer\n   Prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb-assassin\n   to break the bulb in the first place.\n',
    '\nQ: How many Pro-Lifers does it take to change a light bulb?\nA: Two. One to screw it in and one to say that light started when the\n   screwing began.\n',
    '\nQ: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?\nA: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.\n',
    '\nQ: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?\nA: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with\n   brightly-colored power tools.\n',
    '\nQ. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?\nA. Only one, but it takes a really long time and the light bulb has to want\n   to change.\n',
    '\nQ: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?\nA: Walk him and pitch to the rhino.\n',
    '\nQ: Why did the tachyontac cross the road?\nA: Because it was on the other side.\n',
    '\nQ: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?\nA: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.\n',
    "\nQuantity is no substitute for quality, but it's the only one we've got.\n", '\nQuoth the Raven, "Never mind."\n',
    '\nQuotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting.\n',
    '\nQuoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.\n',
    "\nRational people don't go stomping around demanding that the world be\nperfect for them.\n        ― Matthew N. Dodd <winter @ jurai.net>, in comments posted to the\n           freebsd-java mailing list, 6 Feb 2000\n",
    '\nREAD UNHAPPY - MAKNAM\n        ― LISP 1.5\n',
    "\nRomeo:   Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.\nMercutio: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church.\n",
    '\nRage, rage, against the dying of the light!\n        ― Dylan Thomas\n',
    '\nRarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?\n        ― George W. Bush; Florence, South Carolina; January 11, 2000\n',
    "\nRay's Rule of Precision:\n        Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.\n",
    '\nRe: graphics: A picture is worth 10K words ― but only those to describe the\npicture. Hardly any sets of 10K words can be adequately described with\npictures.\n',
    "\nReading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.\n",
    "\nReal Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires\nyou to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers\nwear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly\nspring up in the middle of the machine room.\n",
    '\nReal Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.\n',
    "\nReal Programs don't use shared text. Otherwise, how can they use\nfunctions for scratch space after they are finished calling them?\n",
    '\nReal Time, adj.: Here and now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there\nand then.\n',
    '\nReal wealth can only increase.\n        ― R. Buckminster Fuller\n',
    '\nReceiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than\nbeing flat broke and having a stomach ache.\n        ― Dolph Sharp, "I\'m O.K., You\'re Not So Hot"\n',
    '\nRecent investments will yield a slight profit.\n',
    "\nRegardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at\nspeeds faster than 85 MPH (140k/h).\n        ― presumable misprint from the 1987 Buick Grand National\n           owner's manual.\n",
    '\nReliable software must kill people reliably.\n        ― Andy Mickel\n',
    '\nReligions revolve madly around sexual questions.\n',
    '\nReligious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for\nevery noble enterprise.\n        ― James Madison, in a letter to William Bradford, April 1, 1774\n',
    '\nRemember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse\nin Cleveland.\n',
    '\nRemember: You cannot drain the ocean with a teaspoon.\n        ― Ignas Bernstein\n',
    '\nRemoving the error messages "now that the program is working" is like\nwearing a parachute on the ground, but taking it off once you\'re in the air.\n        ― Kernighan & Plauger [Software Tools]\n',
    '\nRender unto Caesar if line 54 is larger than line 62.\n',
    '\nReplace repetitive expressions by calls to a common function.\n',
    '\nReporter, n.: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a\ntempest of words.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    "\nResearch is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.\n        ― Wernher von Braun\n",
    "\nResisting temptation is easier when you think you'll probably get\nanother chance later on.\n",
    '\nRevolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.\n        ― "Oh, Lucky Man"\n',
    '\nRide the tributaries to reach the sea.\n        ― Arab Proverb\n',
    "\nRocky's Lemma of Innovation Prevention\n        Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will\n        reject the proposal.\n",
    "\nRudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made between alternative\ncourses of action, most people will choose the worse one possible.\n",
    '\nRule of Feline Frustration:\n        When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly\n        content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the\n        bathroom.\n',
    '\nRule of the Great:\n        When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep\n        thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.\n',
    '\nRules for driving in New York:\n        1) Anything done while honking your horn is legal.\n        2) You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.\n        3) A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.\n',
    '\nSCCS, the source motel! Programs check in and never check out!\n        ― Ken Thompson\n',
    '\nSaints should always be judged guilty until they are proven innocent.\n        ― George Orwell\n',
    '\nSalad is what food eats.\n', '\nSatire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.\n',
    "\nSattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.\n",
    '\nSaying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that\nanal sex is nice because it works on all genders.\n        ― Alanna\n',
    "\nSchapiro's Explanation: The grass is always greener on the other side ―\nbut that's because they use more manure.\n",
    '\nScience has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty\nwithout any proof.\n        ― Ashley Montague\n',
    '\nScience is what happens when preconception meets verification.\n',
    "\nScott's First Law: No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.\n",
    "\nScott's Second Law: When an error has been detected and corrected, it will\n        be found to have been wrong in the first place.\nCorollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be\n        impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.\n",
    '\nSee, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and\nover again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.\n        ― George W. Bush; Greece, New York; May 24, 2005\n',
    '\nSeminars, n.: From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.\n', '\nSemper ubi sub ubi.\n',
    "\nSerocki's Stricture: Marriage is always a bachelor's last option.\n",
    '\nSex is the mathematics urge sublimated.\n        ― M. C. Reed.\n',
    "\nSex is the poor man's opera.\n        ― G. B. Shaw\n",
    "\nSex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go,\nit's one of the best.\n        ― Woody Allen\n",
    '\nShake hands with your mother again.\n        ― from an old hymn\n',
    "\nShaw's Principle:\n        Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will\n        want to use it.\n",
    '\nShe hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic\ncandidates for president.\n        ― John Greenway, "The American Tradition", on feminist\n           Elizabeth Gould Davis\n',
    '\nShe missed an invaluable opportunity to give him a look that you could\nhave poured on a waffle ...\n',
    '\nShort words are best, and the old words when short are best of all.\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    '\nShow business is just like high school, except you get paid.\n        ― Martin Mull\n',
    "\nShow me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is\nplaying golf with his boss.\n",
    "\nSilverman's Law: If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.\n",
    "\nSimon's Law: Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.\n",
    '\nSin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.\n',
    "\nSkinner's Constant (or Flannagan's Finagling Factor): That quantity which,\nwhen multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you\nget, gives you the answer you should have gotten.\n",
    '\nSlime is the agony of water.\n        ― Jean-Paul Sartre\n',
    '\nSo far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in\npraise of intelligence.\n        ― Bertrand Russell\n',
    '\nSo we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide and\nour doubts serve to reassure us.\n        ― Jean-Pierre de Caussade, eighteenth-century Jesuit priest\n',
    '\nSo where the sheer incompetence of politicians and generals used to start\nwars, the sheer incompetence of us computer people has now put an end to\nit. No mean feat. For centuries humanity has been looking for the Weapon\nThat Would End War Forever. We have found it. War has ended, not with the\nbang of a bomb, but with the gentle whisper of crashing software.\n        ― Gerard Stafleu (gerard@uwovax.uwo.ca)\n',
    '\nSo why don\'t you make like a tree, and get outta here.\n        ― Biff in "Back to the Future"\n',
    "\nSocialism is power, power, and more power.\n        ― Oswald Spengler, Hitler's intellectual forebear\n",
    '\nSociety is the presumption of habit over instinct.\n        ― Peter Taylor\n',
    "\nSodd's Second Law: Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is\nbound to occur.\n",
    '\nSoftware entities are more complex for their size than perhaps any other human\nconstruct because no two parts are alike. If they are, we make the two\nsimilar parts into a subroutine ― open or closed. In this respect, software\nsystems differ profoundly from computers, buildings, or automobiles, where\nrepeated elements abound.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    "\nSoftware suppliers are trying to make their software packages more\n'user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take\nall the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover.\n        ― Bill Gates, President, Microsoft, Inc.\n",
    '\nSome cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nSome grow with responsibility, others just swell.\n        ― Arnold Glasow\n',
    '\nSome men are discovered; others are found out.\n',
    '\nSome people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some\npeople have mediocrity thrust upon them.\n        ― Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"\n',
    '\nSome people fall for everything and stand for nothing.\n',
    '\nSome people hope to achieve immortality through their works or their children.\nI would prefer to achieve it by not dying.\n        ― Woody Allen\n',
    "\nSome people in this department wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit\nthem on the head.\n",
    '\nSome people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall\ninstead of using it\n        ― Gordon R. Dickson\n',
    '\nSometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they\nshould live next door and just visit now and then.\n        ― Katherine Hepburn\n',
    '\nSometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.\n        ― Lily Tomlin\n',
    '\nSometimes a cigar is just a cigar.\n        ― Sigmund Freud\n',
    '\nSometimes the only solution is to find a new problem.\n',
    '\nSometimes the only way out of a difficulty is through it.\n',
    '\nSometimes, too long is too long.\n        ― Joe Crowe\n',
    "\nSpark's Sixth Rule for Managers: If a subordinate asks you a pertinent\nquestion, look at him as if he had lost his senses. When he looks down,\nparaphrase the question back at him.\n",
    '\nSpeak softly and carry a +6 two-handed sword.\n',
    '\nSpeaking as someone who has delved into the intricacies of PL/I, I am sure\nthat only Real Men could have written such a machine-hogging,\ncycle-grabbing, all-encompassing monster. Allocate an array and free the\nmiddle third? Sure! Why not? Multiply a character string times a bit\nstring and assign the result to a float decimal? Go ahead! Free a\ncontrolled variable procedure parameter and reallocate it before passing it\nback? Overlay three different types of variable on the same memory\nlocation? Anything you say! Write a recursive macro? Well, no, but Real\nMen use rescan. How could a language so obviously designed and written by\nReal Men not be intended for Real Man use?\n',
    '\nSpiritual leadership should remain spiritual leadership and the temporal\npower should not become too important in any church.\n        ― Eleanor Roosevelt\n',
    '\nStability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.\n',
    '\nStay out of the road, if you want to grow old.\n        ― Pink Floyd\n',
    "\nSteinbach's Guideline for Systems Programming\n        Never test for an error condition you don't know how to\n        handle.\n",
    "\nStock brokers invest your money until it's all gone.\n        ― Woody Allen\n",
    "\nStop searching. Happiness is right next to you. Now, if it'd only take a bath.\n",
    "\nStult's Report: Our problems are mostly behind us. What we have to do now is\nfight the solutions.\n",
    '\nStupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.\n', "\nSturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crap.\n",
    '\nSuccess is a journey, not a destination.\n', '\nSuccess is not free. Neither is failure.\n        ― Ray Kroc\n',
    '\nSuccess is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss\nof enthusiasm.\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    '\nSuccess is what happens when something goes right.\n        ― Arnold Glasow\n',
    '\nSuccessful and fortunate crime is called virtue.\n        ― Seneca\n',
    '\nSuccumb to natural tendencies. Be hateful and boring.\n',
    '\nSuperiority is always detested.\n        ― Balasar Gracian\n',
    '\nSure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest\nmen in national government too.\n        ― Richard M. Nixon\n',
    "\nSwipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest has the floor.\n",
    '\nTV is chewing gum for the eyes.\n        ― Frank Lloyd Wright\n',
    '\nTact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a\nhole in his head.\n',
    '\nTact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.\n',
    '\nTact is the great ability to see other people as they think you see them.\n',
    "\nTact, n.: The unsaid part of what you're thinking.\n",
    '\nTake care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.\n',
    '\nTake everything in stride. Trample anyone who gets in your way.\n',
    '\nTake heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting\nenough cheese.\n        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"\n',
    '\nTake my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it\nneeds a very clever woman to manage a fool.\n        ― Kipling\n',
    '\nTake what you can use and let the rest go by.\n        ― Ken Kesey\n',
    '\nTax reform means "Don\'t tax you, don\'t tax me, tax that fellow behind\nthe tree."\n        ― Russell Long\n',
    '\nTeach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he\ngrows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.\n',
    '\nTechnological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means\nfor going backwards.\n        ― Aldous Huxley\n',
    "\nTell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe\nyou.... Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and he'll have to touch it\nto be sure.\n",
    "\nTen years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.\n        ― R. Geis\n",
    '\nThan self restraint, there is nothing better.\n        ― Lao Tzu\n',
    '\nThat 150 lawyers should do business together ought not to be expected.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson, on the U.S. Congress.\n',
    '\nThat government is best which governs least.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nThat government is best which governs not at all.\n        ― Henry David Thoreau\n',
    '\nThat is the key to history. Terrific energy is expended ― civilizations\nare built up ― excellent institutions devised; but each time something\ngoes wrong. Some fatal flaw always brings the selfish and cruel people to\nthe top, and then it all slides back into misery and ruin. In fact, the\nmachine conks. It seems to start up all right and runs a few yards, and\nthen it breaks down.\n        ― C. S. Lewis\n',
    '\nThat man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.\n        ― Thoreau\n',
    '\nThat which is not good for the swarm, neither is it good for the bee.\n',
    '\nThat\'s the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they\nreally hate is lousy programmers.\n        ― Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle in "Oath of Fealty"\n',
    "\nThe Abrams' Principle: The shortest distance between two points is off the\nwall.\n",
    '\nThe Briggs/Chase Law of Program Development: To determine how long it will\ntake to write and debug a program, take your best estimate, multiply that\nby two, add one, and convert to the next higher units.\n',
    '\nThe English have no respect for their language, and will not teach\ntheir children to speak it.\n        ― G. B. Shaw\n',
    '\nThe Fifth Rule: You have taken yourself too seriously.\n',
    '\nThe IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided\nby the number of people in the group.\n',
    '\nThe Idea is like grass. It craves light, likes crowds, thrives on\ncross-breeding, grows better for being stepped on.\n        ― Ursula K. LeGuin, "The Dispossessed"\n',
    "\nThe Kennedy Constant: Don't get mad ― get even.\n",
    '\nThe Law of Software Envelopment (at MIT): Every program at MIT attempts to\nexpand until it can read mail. Those programs which cannot expand are\nreplaced by ones which can.\n',
    '\nThe Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor,\nto sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.\n        ― Anatole France\n',
    '\nThe Official MBA Handbook on business cards: Avoid overly pretentious job\ntitles such as "Lord of the Realm, Defender of the Faith, Emperor of India"\nor "Director of Corporate Planning."\n',
    '\nThe real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the\nright place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.\n        ― Dorothy Nevill\n',
    '\nThe Roman Rule: The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the\none who is doing it.\n',
    '\nThe Swartzberg Test: The validity of a science is its ability to predict.\n',
    '\nThe Third Law of Photography: If you did manage to get any good shots, they\nwill be ruined when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all\nof the dark leaks out.\n',
    '\nThe Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.\n',
    '\nThe USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and\nreligious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging\nfrom the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its\nyielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook than the rest of the\nworld put together.\n        ― Sir Peter Medawar\n',
    '\nThe United States has entered an anti-intellectual phase in its history,\nperhaps most clearly seen in our virtually thought-free political life.\n        ― David Baltimore\n',
    '\nThe [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by\npeople who want some.\n        ― Dwight MacDonald\n',
    '\nThe advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nThe ambassador and the general were briefing me on the―the vast majority\nof Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these\npeople and we will bring them to justice.\n        ― George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.; October 28, 2003\n',
    '\nThe angels wanna wear my red shoes.\n',
    '\nThe applause of a single human being is of great consequence.\n        ― Samuel Johnson\n',
    '\nThe attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.\n',
    '\nThe attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.\n',
    '\nThe author should gaze at Noah, and ... learn, as they did in the Ark, to crowd\na great deal of matter into a very small compass.\n        ― Sydney, Smith, Edinburgh Review\n',
    '\nThe average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the\naverage man can see better than he can think.\n',
    '\nThe best cure for anger is delay.\n        ― Seneca\n', '\nThe best prophet of the future is the past.\n',
    '\nThe best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and\nfellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are\ndrifting side by side to our common doom.\n        ― Clarence Darrow\n',
    '\nThe best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off\nby a bit.\n        ― Anonymous\n',
    '\nThe best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.\n',
    '\nThe best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.\n        ― Anonymous\n',
    '\nThe better part of maturity is knowing your goals.\n        ― Arnold Glasow\n',
    "\nThe biggest difference between time and space is that you can't reuse\ntime.\n        ― Merrick Furst\n",
    '\nThe chain that can be yanked is not the cosmic chain.\n        ― Cal Keegan\n',
    "\nThe chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to show up\nat the steam fitters' picnic.\n",
    '\nThe chief barrier to happiness is envy.\n        ― Frank Tyger\n',
    '\nThe chief cause of problems is solutions.\n        ― Eric Sevareid, CBS Evening News, December 29, 1970\n',
    '\nThe city of the dead antedates the city of the living.\n        ― Lewis Mumford\n',
    '\nThe clothes have no emperor.\n        ― C. A. Hoare, about Ada.\n',
    '\nThe complexity of software is an essential property, not an accidental one.\nHence, descriptions of a software entity that abstract away its complexity\noften abstract away its essence.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    '\nThe computing field is always in need of new cliches.\n        ― Alan Perlis\n',
    '\nThe connection between the language in which we think/program and the problems\nand solutions we can imagine is very close. For this reason restricting\nlanguage features with the intent of eliminating programmer errors is at best\ndangerous.\n        ― Bjarne Stroustrup in "The C++ Programming Language"\n',
    '\nThe correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it is\nnone of my business, but ―" is to place a period after the word "but."\nDon\'t use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period.\nCutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you\ntalked about.\n        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"\n',
    "\nThe cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.\n",
    '\nThe cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going\ndown.\n',
    '\nThe country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold,\npersistent experimentation.\n        ― Franklin Delano Roosevelt\n',
    '\nThe cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.\n        ― John McNulty\n',
    '\nThe day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being\nas his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of\nthe generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the\ndawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with\nthis artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine\ndoctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nThe day-to-day travails of the IBM programmer are so amusing to most of\nus who are fortunate enough never to have been one ― like watching\nCharlie Chaplin trying to cook a shoe.\n',
    '\nThe debate rages on: Is PL/I Bachtrian or Dromedary?\n',
    "\nThe decision didn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.\n",
    '\nThe devil finds work for idle circuits to do.\n',
    '\nThe difference between Genius and Stupidity is that Genius has limits.\n',
    '\nThe difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science\nrequires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.\n        ― Robert Heinlein\n',
    '\nThe difference between sympathy and empathy is three letters: "yes".\n        ― P. Taylor\n',
    '\nThe divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere\nin the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths,\nDoctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in\nChristianity.\n        ― John Adams\n',
    '\nThe earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier.\n',
    '\nThe end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.\n        ― Buckminster Fuller\n',
    '\nThe end of labor is to gain leisure.\n',
    '\nThe end of the world will occur at 3:00 p.m., this Friday, with\nsymposium to follow.\n',
    '\nThe envious man grows lean at the success of his neighbor.\n        ― Horace\n',
    '\nThe evolution of the human race will not be accomplished in the ten thousand\nyears of tame animals, but in the million years of wild animals, because man\nis and will always be a wild animal.\n        ― Charles Galton Darwin\n',
    '\nThe existence of god implies a violation of causality.\n',
    '\nThe fact that it works is immaterial.\n        ― L. Ogborn\n',
    '\nThe famous politician was trying to save both his faces.\n',
    '\nThe fancy is indeed no other than a mode of memory emancipated from the order\nof space and time.\n        ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge\n',
    '\nThe fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.\n        ― Roger Levian\n',
    '\nThe finest eloquence is that which gets things done.\n', '\nThe first 90', ' of a project takes 90',
    ' of the time. The last 10', ' of a project\ntakes 90', ' of the time.\n',
    '\nThe first and great commandment is: Do not let them scare you.\n        ― Elmer Davis\n',
    '\nThe first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.\n        ― Abbie Hoffman\n',
    '\nThe first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.\n        ― Paul Erlich\n',
    '\nThe flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program documentation.\n        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month\n',
    '\nThe flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.\n        ― Alan Coult\n',
    '\nThe following statement is true.\nThe previous statement is false.\n',
    '\nThe fountain code has been tightened slightly so you can no longer dip objects\ninto a fountain or drink from one while you are floating in mid-air due to\nlevitation.\n\nTeleporting to hell via a teleportation trap will no longer occur if the\ncharacter does not have fire resistance.\n\n        ― README file from the NetHack game\n',
    '\nThe fourth law of thermodynamics:\nThe perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum.\n',
    '\nThe fundamentalists, by "knowing" the answers before they start [examining\nevolution], and then forcing nature into the straitjacket of their\ndiscredited preconceptions, lie outside the domain of science―-or of any\nhonest intellectual inquiry.\n        ― Stephen Jay Gould, Bully for Brontosaurus (1990)\n',
    "\nThe future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)\n",
    '\nThe generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.\n',
    '\nThe gentlemen looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.\n',
    "\nThe goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at\nleast until we've finished building it.\n",
    '\nThe goal of science is to build better mousetraps.\nThe goal of nature is to build better mice.\n',
    '\nThe government of the United States is not in any sense founded\non the Christian Religion.\n        ― George Washington (The Treaty of Tripoli)\n',
    '\nThe greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.\n',
    '\nThe greatest warriors are the ones who fight for peace.\n        ― Holly Near\n',
    '\nThe hand that rocks the cradle can also cradle a rock.\n        ― Feminist saying, circa 1968-1972\n',
    '\nThe hardest thing to open is a closed mind.\n        ― Leo Burnett\n',
    '\nThe heart has no rainbows when the eye has no tears.\n',
    "\nThe hell with the Prime Directive: let's kill something.\n",
    '\nThe herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent\nthinkers.\n',
    '\nThe human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for\nlists of "Ten Best".\n        ― H. Allen Smith\n',
    '\nThe human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity\n― the rest is overhead for the operating system.\n',
    '\nThe human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange\nprotein ― it rejects it.\n        ― P. Medawar\n',
    "\nThe hypothesis: Amid a wash of paper, a small number of documents become the\ncritical pivots around which every project's management revolves. These are the\nmanager's chief personal tools.\n        ― Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month\n",
    '\nThe idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to\nlead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the\nfact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into\nit in the first place.\n        ― attributed to Douglas Adams\n',
    '\nThe ideal is impossible. The idea of the ideal is essential.\n        ― P. Taylor\n',
    '\nThe inability to benefit from feedback appears to be the primary cause of\npseudoscience. Pseudoscientists retain their beliefs and ignore or distort\ncontradictory evidence rather than modify or reject a flawed theory. Because\nof their strong biases, they seem to lack the self-correcting mechanisms\nscientists must employ in their work.\n        ― Thomas L. Creed, "The Skeptical Inquirer," Summer 1987\n',
    '\nThe individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important\npoint to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly\nimportant thing to people.\n        ― Donald N. Smith, president of Burger King\n',
    '\nThe Internet? Is that thing still around?\n        ― Homer Simpson\n',
    '\nThe Internet is the most powerful stupidity amplifier ever invented. It’s\nlike television without the television part.\n        —- James “Kibo” Perry\n',
    '\nThe lame in the path outstrip the swift who wander from it.\n        ― Francis Bacon\n',
    '\nThe last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.\n        ― Blaise Pascal\n',
    '\nThe life of a repo man is always intense.\n',
    '\nThe life of money-making is one undertaken under compulsion, and wealth is\nevidently not the good we are seeking, for it is merely useful for the sake\nof something else.\n        ― Aristotle\n',
    '\nThe life which is unexamined is not worth living.\n',
    '\nThe light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching\ntrain.\n',
    "\nThe lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get\nmuch sleep.\n        ― Woody Allen\n",
    '\nThe longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.\n        ― Henry Kissinger\n',
    '\nThe love of money is only one among many.\n        ― Alfred Marshall\n',
    '\nThe luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.\n',
    '\nThe main thing is the play itself. I swear that greed for money has nothing\nto do with it, although heaven knows I am sorely in need of money.\n        ― Feodor Dostoyevsky\n',
    '\nThe man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be. ...\nThe natural disposition is always to believe. It is acquired wisdom and\nexperience only that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it\nenough.\n        ― Adam Smith\n',
    '\nThe man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the\ncrowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no\none has ever been.\n        ― Alan Ashley-Pitt\n',
    '\nThe man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.\n',
    "\nThe marvels of today's modern technology include the development of a soda\ncan, when discarded will last forever; and a $20,000 car which, when\nproperly cared for, will rust out in two or three years.\n",
    '\nThe meek are contesting the will.\n', '\nThe meek shall inherit the earth ― they are too weak to refuse.\n',
    '\nThe meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.\n        ― J. Paul Getty\n',
    '\nThe meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us will go to the stars.\n',
    '\nThe meek will inherit the Earth..... The rest of us will go to the stars.\n',
    '\nThe mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.\n        ― Tenessee Williams\n',
    "\nThe moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.\n",
    '\nThe more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and\nrobbers there will be.\n        ― Lao Tsu\n',
    '\nThe more things change, the more they stay insane.\n',
    "\nThe more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.\n",
    '\nThe more we disagree, the more chance there is that at least one of us\nis right.\n',
    '\nThe mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.\n        ― Andy Warhol\n',
    '\nThe most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new\ndiscoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That\'s funny ..."\n        ― Isaac Asimov\n',
    '\nThe most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to\ncorrelate all its contents.\n        ― H. P. Lovecraft\n',
    "\nThe new Congressmen say they're going to turn the government around. I\nhope I don't get run over again.\n",
    '\nThe next six days are dangerous.\n',
    '\nThe nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to\nchoose from.\n        ― Andrew S. Tanenbaum\n',
    '\nThe notion of a "record" is an obsolete remnant of the days of the\n80-column card.\n        ― Dennis M. Ritchie\n',
    '\nThe objective of all dedicated employees should be to thoroughly analyze\nall situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have\nanswers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when\ncalled upon. However, when you are up to your ass in alligators it is\ndifficult to remind yourself your initial objective was to drain the swamp.\n',
    '\nThe older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.\n',
    '\nThe one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nThe one good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when\nto cringe.\n',
    '\nThe only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.\n',
    "\nThe only good bug is a dead bug.\nBut the best bug is the one that wasn't there to begin with.\n",
    "\nThe only possible interpretation of any research whatever in the\n`social sciences' is: some do, some don't.\n        ― Ernest Rutherford\n",
    '\nThe only problem with being a man of leisure is that you can never stop\nand take a rest.\n',
    '\nThe only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.\n        ― Edmund Burke\n',
    '\nThe only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all.\n        ― Harry S Truman\n',
    '\nThe only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any\nuse to oneself.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nThe only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.\n',
    '\nThe only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nThe only way to learn a new programming language is by writing programs in it.\n        ― Brian Kernighan\n',
    "\nThe opossum is a very sophisticated animal. It doesn't even get up\nuntil 5 or 6 pm.\n",
    '\nThe opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a\nprofound truth may well be another profound truth.\n        ― Niels Bohr\n',
    '\nThe opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.\n        ― Bohr\n',
    '\nThe optimum committee has no members.\n        ― Norman Augustine\n',
    "\nThe past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because\nit isn't here.\n        ― Finley Peter Dunne (Mr. Dooley)\n",
    "\nThe personal computer market is about the same size as the total potato\nchip market. Next year it will be about half the size of the pet food\nmarket and is fast approaching the total worldwide sales of pantyhose\n        ― James Finke, President, Commodore Int'l Ltd. (1982)\n",
    '\nThe pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter\nswang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the\nbatter connected. He hit a high fly right to the center fielder. The\ncenter fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute\nhis eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it.\n        ― Dizzy Dean\n',
    '\nThe plural of spouse is spice.\n',
    '\nThe police are not there to create disorder.  The police are there to\npreserve disorder.\n        ― The late Richard J. Daly, Mayor of the city of Chicago\n',
    '\nThe power to destroy a planet is insignificant when compared to the power of\nthe Force.\n        ― Darth Vader\n',
    '\nThe price of greatness is responsibility.\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    '\nThe price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate\nknowledge of its ugly side.\n        ― James Baldwin\n',
    '\nThe primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to\nconstants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every\nappearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA\nstatement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This\nalso simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.\n        ― FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers\n',
    '\nThe probability of someone watching you is directly proportional to the\nstupidity of your action.\n',
    "\nThe problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go\nto erase it.\n        ― Glaser and Way\n",
    '\nThe problem with being best man at a wedding is that you never get a\nchance to prove it.\n',
    "\nThe problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be\npretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.\n        ― Elizabeth Taylor\n",
    '\nThe problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.\n',
    '\nThe program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.\n',
    '\nThe programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-\nstuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the\nimagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and\nrework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures.\n        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month\n',
    '\nThe purpose of most meetings seems to be to get as much human meat as possible\ninto one room.\n        ― James Iry, via Twitter\n',
    "\nThe race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong ―\nbut that's the way to bet.\n        ― Damon Runyon\n",
    "\nThe rain it raineth on the just\n        And also on the unjust fella,\nBut chiefly on the just, because\n        The unjust steals the just's umbrella.\n",
    '\nThe reason ESP, for example, is not considered a viable topic in\ncontemporary psychology is simply that its investigation has not proven\nfruitful...After more than 70 years of study, there still does not exist\none example of an ESP phenomenon that is replicable under controlled\nconditions. This simple but basic scientific criterion has not been met\ndespite dozens of studies conducted over many decades... It is for this\nreason alone that the topic is now of little interest to psychology... In\nshort, there is no demonstrated phenomenon that needs explanation.\n        ― Keith E. Stanovich, "How to Think Straight About Psychology",\n           pp. 160-161\n',
    "\nThe reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.\n",
    "\nThe reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our\nbehind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel.\n        ― Steve Furtick\n",
    '\nThe reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one\npersists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all\nprogress depends on the unreasonable man.\n        ― George Bernard Shaw\n',
    '\nThe revolution will not be televised.\n',
    '\nThe reward of a thing well done is to have done it.\n        ― Emerson\n',
    '\nThe right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.\nThis means that only left handed people are in their right mind.\n',
    '\nThe right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.\nThis means that only left-handed people are in their right minds.\n',
    '\nThe road to to success is always under construction.\n        ― Florian Bruckner\n',
    '\nThe secret cement of any organization is trust.\n        ― Donald E. Walker\n',
    '\nThe shell must break before the bird can fly.\n        ― Alfred, Lord Tennyson\n',
    '\nThe shortest distance between two points is under construction.\n        ― Noelie Altito\n',
    '\nThe silly question is the first intimation of some totally new development.\n',
    '\nThe so-called "desktop metaphor" of today\'s workstations is instead an\n"airplane-seat" metaphor. Anyone who has shuffled a lap full of papers while\nseated between two portly passengers will recognize the difference ― one can\nsee only a very few things at once.\n        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.\n',
    '\nThe solution to a problem changes the problem.\n        ― J. Martin\n',
    "\nThe sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.\n        ― Ed Bluestone\n",
    '\nThe soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.\n',
    '\nThe steady state of disks is full.\n        ―Ken Thompson\n',
    '\nThe study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study\nof nothing; it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it\nproceeds by no authority; it has no data; it can demonstrate nothing; and\nit admits of no conclusion.\n        ― Thomas Paine, from The Age of Reason\n',
    '\nThe subject matter of research is no longer nature in itself, but nature\nsubjected to human questioning . . .\n        ― Werner Heisenberg\n',
    '\nThe sun was shining on the sea,\nShining with all his might:\nHe did his very best to make\nThe billows smooth and bright ―\nAnd this was very odd, because it was\nThe middle of the night.\n        ― Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"\n',
    '\nThe superfluous is very necessary.\n        ― Voltaire\n',
    '\nThe sweetest of all sounds is praise.\n        ― Xenophon\n',
    "\nThe tar pit of software engineering will continue to be sticky for a long time\nto come. One can expect the human race to continue attempting systems just\nwithin or just beyond our reach; and software systems are perhaps the most\nintricate and complex of man's handiworks. The management of this complex\ncraft will demand our best use of new languages and systems, our best\nadaptation of proven engineering management methods, liberal doses of common\nsense, and ... humility to recognize our fallibility and limitations.\n        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month\n",
    "\nThe Three Laws of Thermodynamics\nThe First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.\nThe Second Law: The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.\nThe Third Law: You can only break even at absolute zero.\n",
    '\nThe time is right to make new friends.\n',
    "\nThe trouble with a kitten is that\nWhen it grows up, it's always a cat\n        ― Ogden Nash.\n",
    '\nThe trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.\n',
    '\nThe trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing\nmore important to do.\n',
    '\nThe trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody\nappreciates how difficult it was.\n',
    "\nThe trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer\nis doing until it's too late.\n        ― Seymour Cray\n",
    "\nThe trouble with us in America isn't that the poetry of life has turned to\nprose, but that it has turned to advertising copy.\n        ― Louis Kronenberger\n",
    '\nThe truth is that all those having power ought to be mistrusted.\n        ― James Madison\n',
    '\nThe truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And\nvice versa.\n',
    '\nThe typical page layout program is nothing more than an electronic\nlight table for cutting and pasting documents.\n',
    '\nThe universe is laughing behind your back.\n', '\nThe unnatural, that too is natural.\n        ― Goethe\n',
    '\nThe use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be\nregarded as a criminal offense.\n        ― E. W. Dijkstra (1982)\n',
    '\nThe vigor of civilized societies is preserved by the widespread sense that\nhigh aims are worth-while. Vigorous societies harbor a certain\nextravagance of objectives, so that men wander beyond the safe provision of\npersonal gratifications. All strong interests easily become impersonal,\nthe love of a good job well done. There is a sense of harmony about such\nan accomplishment, the Peace brought by something worth-while.\n        ― Alfred North Whitehead, 1963, in "The History of Manned Space\n           Flight"\n',
    '\nThe way to make a small fortune in the stock market is to start with a\nlarge one.\n',
    '\nThe Web is like a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons\nordering me to Submit.\n        ― Nytwind\n',
    "\nThe whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.\n        ― Wavy Gravy\n",
    "\nThe wife you save may be your own.\n        ― Unofficial slogan of supporters of one of FDR's sons,\n           a notorious womanizer, during the son's first congressional race\n",
    '\nThe wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.\n',
    '\nThe world is a fantasy, so let\'s find out about it.\n        ― Astrophysicist Dennis Sciama, to Timothy Ferris (quoted in\n           Ferris\'s book, "The Mind\'s Sky")\n',
    '\nThe world is coming to an end. Please log off.\n',
    "\n[The World Wide Web is] the only thing I know of whose shortened\nform―www―takes three times longer to say than what it's short for.\n        ― attributed to Douglas Adams\n",
    '\nThe world is divided into two kinds of people: those who think the world is\ndivided into two kinds of people and those who do not.\n',
    '\nThe world is no nursery.\n        ― Sigmund Freud\n',
    '\nThe world looks as if it has been left in the custody of trolls.\n        ― Father Robert F. Capon\n',
    '\nThe world will not recognize your talent until you demonstrate it.\n',
    "\nThe world's as ugly as sin,\nAnd almost as delightful\n        ― Frederick Locker-Lampson\n",
    '\nThe worst form of failure is the failure to try.\n',
    '\nThe years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of\nfour and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all\nthe answers.\n',
    '\nTheorem: A cat has nine tails. Proof: No cat has eight tails. A cat has one\ntail more than no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails.\n',
    "\nThere ain't no such thing as a free lunch.\n",
    "\nThere are 10 types of people who understand binary: The ones who do, and\nthe ones who don't.\n",
    '\nThere are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.\n        ― Winston Churchill\n',
    '\nThere are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,\nand praiseworthy ...\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nThere are no bugs, only unrecognized features.\n', '\nThere are no giant crabs in here, Frank.\n',
    '\nThere are no saints, only unrecognized villains.\n',
    '\nThere are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always\nbitch about and those nobody uses.\n        ― Bjarne Stroustrup\n',
    "\nThere are some micro-organisms that exhibit characteristics of both\nplants and animals. When exposed to light they undergo photosynthesis;\nand when the lights go out, they turn into animals. But then again,\ndon't we all?\n",
    "\nThere are 10 kinds of people. Those who know binary and those who don't.\n",
    '\nThere are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.\n        ― Heisenberg\n',
    '\nThere are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.\n        ― Disraeli\n',
    '\nThere are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire\nsomeone, or forbid your kids to do it.\n',
    '\nThere are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old\'s life:\n"The Lord of the Rings" and "Atlas Shrugged". One is a childish fantasy\nthat often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes,\nleading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to\ndeal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.\n        ― John Rogers (kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2009/03/ephemera-2009-7.html)\n',
    '\nThere are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make\nit so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to\nmake it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.\n        ― Charles Anthony Richard Hoare\n',
    '\nThere are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.\n',
    "\nThere are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true. The other\nis to refuse to accept what is true.\n        ― Søren Kierkegaard\n",
    '\nThere are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a\nsuitable application of high explosives.\n',
    '\nThere can be no offense where none is taken.\n        ― Japanese proverb\n',
    '\nThere cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.\n        ― Henry Kissinger\n',
    '\nThere has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing\nabout.\n',
    '\nThere is a bear following you around.\n',
    "\nThere is a decivilizing bug somewhere at work; unconsciously persons of\nstern worth, by not resenting and resisting the small indignities of the\ntimes, are preparing themselves for the eventual acceptance of what they\nthemselves know they don't want.\n        ― attributed to E.B. White\n",
    '\nThere is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of\npaying literary men by the quantity they do NOT write.\n',
    '\nThere is no "Complete Idiot\'s Guide to Creationism," but perhaps one is not\nneeded.\n        ― Andrei Codrescu, on NPR Aug. 25, 1999\n',
    '\nThere is no excuse for the use of the word "synergies" on any project where\ncommon sense and straight talking are the norm.\n        ― Paul Robinson <paul @ iconoplex.co.uk>, in a post to the\n           FreeBSD-Hackers mailing list, 17 July, 2003\n',
    "\nThere is some sort of perverse pleasure in knowing that it's basically\nimpossible to send a piece of hate mail through the Internet without its\nbeing touched by a gay program. That's kind of funny.\n        ― Eric Allman\n",
    '\nThere is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage\nand security to all, but especially to democracies as against despots. What\nis it? Distrust.\n        ― Demosthenes: Philippic 2, sect. 24.\n',
    "\nThere is a time in the tides of men,\nWhich, taken at its flood, leads on to success.\nOn the other hand, don't count on it.\n        ― T. K. Lawson\n",
    '\nThere is danger in delaying, good fortune in acting.\n',
    '\nThere is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing the\nrational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries civilization\nwill sink into a mere welter of minor excitements. We must provide a Great\nAge or see the collapse of the upward striving of the human race.\n        ― Alfred North Whitehead\n',
    '\nThere is no heavier burden than a great potential.\n',
    '\nThere is no idea so sacred that it cannot be questioned, analyzed...\nand ridiculed.\n        ― Cal Keegan\n',
    '\nThere is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to\nattain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So\nit is written in the genetic cards ― only physics and war hold him in\ncheck. And also the wife who wants him home by five, of course.\n        ― Encyclopadia Apocrypha, 1990 ed.\n',
    '\nThere is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it\n        ― G. B. Shaw\n',
    '\nThere is no statute of limitations on stupidity.\n        ― Randomly produced by a computer program called Markov3.\n',
    '\nThere is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.\n',
    '\nThere is no such thing as not enough time if you are doing what you want to do.\n',
    '\nThere is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.\n',
    '\nThere is no time like the pleasant.\n',
    '\nThere is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.\n',
    '\nThere is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.\n        ― Swift\n',
    '\nThere is nothing so deadly as not to hold up to people the opportunity to\ndo great and wonderful things, if we wish to stimulate them in an active way.\n        ― Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry\n',
    '\nThere is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and\nthat is not being talked about.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nThere is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it\nwould completely cover the Sahara Desert.\n',
    '\nThere was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie, a howling\naway at the sons of his father and going blurp blurp in between as if it were\na filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to\nsee anyone like that, especially when they were old like this one was.\n        ― Alex in "Clockwork Orange"\n',
    '\nThere were in this country two very large monopolies. The larger of the\ntwo had the following record: the Vietnam War, Watergate, double- digit\ninflation, fuel and energy shortages, bankrupt airlines, and the 8-cent\npostcard. The second was responsible for such things as the transistor,\nthe solar cell, lasers, synthetic crystals, high fidelity stereo recording,\nsound motion pictures, radio astronomy, negative feedback, magnetic tape,\nmagnetic "bubbles", electronic switching systems, microwave radio and TV\nrelay systems, information theory, the first electrical digital computer,\nand the first communications satellite. Guess which one got to tell the\nother how to run the telephone business?\n',
    '\nThere will always be survivors.\n        ― Robert Heinlen\n',
    '\nThere will be big changes for you, but you will be happy.\n',
    '\nThere you go man,\nKeep as cool as you can.\nIt riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave.\nKeep on being free!\n',
    "\nThere's a bug somewhere in your code.\n",
    "\nThere's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it's not a fence.\n",
    "\nThere's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.\n",
    "\nThere's always someone, somewhere,\nwith a big nose, who knows\nand who trips you up and laughs\nwhen you fall.\n        ― The Smiths\n",
    "\nThere's at least one fool in every married couple.\n", "\nThere's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.\n",
    "\nThere's more than one way to skin a cat:\n        Way number 15 ― Krazy Glue and a toothbrush.\n",
    "\nThere's more than one way to skin a cat:\n        Way number 27 ― Use an electric sander.\n",
    "\nThere's more to life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear\nplaying the clarinet.\n        ― Woody Allen\n",
    "\nThere's no future in time travel\n",
    "\nThere's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one\nthing always leading to another.\n        ― E. B. White\n",
    "\nThere's no place like home.\n", "\nThere's no place like $HOME.\n",
    "\nThere's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.\n        ― Dr. Who\n",
    "\nThere's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right\nkeys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.\n        ― J. S. Bach\n",
    "\nThere's nothing wrong with America that a good erection wouldn't cure.\n        ― David Mairowitz\n",
    "\nThere's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn\nwhat it is I'll get married again.\n        ― Clint Eastwood\n",
    "\nThere's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is\nbecoming an endangered synthetic.\n        ― Lily Tomlin\n",
    "\nThese patriots don't mince words... Okay, sure, they ARE dangerous,\nhopelessly ignorant, inbred, retarded borderline lunatics with an\ninsatiable lust for the blood of sinners ― but at least they're HONEST\nabout it.\n        ― Reverend Ivan Stang, cofounder of the Church of the Subgenius,\n           about a group known as Free Love Ministries, in his book _High\n           Weirdness By Mail_\n",
    '\nThey [preachers] dread the advance of science as witches do the approach\nof daylight and scowl on the fatal harbinger announcing the subversions\nof the duperies on which they live.\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nThey also surf who only stand on waves.\n',
    '\nThey took some of the Van Goghs, most of the jewels, and all of the Chivas!\n',
    '\nThings are always at their best in the beginning.\n        ― Pascal\n',
    '\nThings are more like they are now than they ever were before.\n        ― Dwight D. Eisenhower\n',
    '\nThings are more like they used to be than they are now.\n',
    '\nThings are not as simple as they seems at first.\n        ― Edward Thorp\n',
    "\nThings won't get any better, so get used to it.\n", "\nThink honk if you're a telepath.\n",
    '\nThis fortune intentionally not included.\n', '\nThis fortune is false.\n',
    '\nThis fortune is inoperative. Please try another.\n', '\nThis fortune will self destruct in 5 years.\n',
    "\nThis isn't brain surgery; it's just television.\n        ― David Letterman\n",
    '\nThis space unintentionally left blank.\n',
    '\nThis was the ultimate form of ostentation among technology freaks ― to have\na system so complete and sophisticated that nothing showed; no machines,\nno wires, no controls.\n        ― Michael Swanwick, "Vacuum Flowers"\n',
    "\nThoreau's Law: If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of\ndoing you good, you should run for your life.\n        ― Attributed to Thoreau by William H. Whyte, Jr., in\n           The Organization Man (1956)\n",
    "\nThose of us who believe in the right of any human being to belong to whatever\nchurch he sees fit, and to worship God in his own way, cannot be accused\nof prejudice when we do not want to see public education connected with\nreligious control of the schools, which are paid for by taxpayers' money.\n        ― Eleanor Roosevelt\n",
    '\nThose who are quick in deciding are in danger of being mistaken.\n        ― Sophocles\n',
    '\nThose who believe in astrology are living in houses with foundations of\nSilly Putty.\n        ― Dennis Rawlins, astronomer\n',
    '\nThose who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their\nhearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt,\nwithout an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in\nthe God idea, not God Himself.\n        ― Miguel de Unamuno, Spanish philosopher and writer\n',
    '\nThose who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them.\n',
    "\nThose who can, do; those who can't, simulate.\n",
    "\nThose who can't repeat the past are condemned to remember it.\n        ― Mark O'Donnell\n",
    '\nThose who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.\n        ― Henry Spencer, University of Toronto Unix hacker\n',
    '\nThose who educate children well are more to be honored than parents,\nfor these only gave life, those the art of living well.\n        ― Aristotle\n',
    '\nThose who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose.\n',
    '\nThose who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent\nrevolution inevitable.\n        ― John F. Kennedy\n',
    "\nThose who talk don't know. Those who don't talk, know.\n",
    '\nThose who want the Government to regulate matters of the mind and spirit\nare like men who are so afraid of being murdered that they commit suicide\nto avoid assassination.\n        ― Harry S Truman\n',
    '\nThrow out your gold teeth / And see how they roll.\nThe answer they reveal: / Life is unreal.\n        ― Steely Dan\n',
    '\nTime and tide wait for no man.\n', '\nTime flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.\n',
    '\nTime is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.\n        ― Graffiti\n',
    '\nTime is but the stream I go a-fishing in.\n',
    "\nTime is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.\n", '\nTime wounds all heels.\n',
    '\nTimes are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is\nwriting a book.\n        ― Cicero\n',
    '\nTip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.\n        ― Frank Lloyd Wright\n',
    '\nTo be awake is to be alive.\n        ― Henry David Thoreau, in "Walden Pond"\n',
    '\nTo be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.\n', '\nTo be is to program.\n',
    '\nTo be overbusy is a witless task.\n        ― Sophocles\n',
    '\nTo be perfect is to have changed often.\n        ― J. H. Newman\n',
    '\nTo be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the\ntarget.\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n',
    '\nTo be wrong all the time is an effort, but some manage it.\n        ― William Feather\n',
    '\nTo be, or what?\n        ― Sylvester Stallone\n',
    '\nTo criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the\ncompetent.\n',
    '\nTo do easily what is difficult for others is the mark of talent.\n        ― H. F. Amiel\n',
    '\nTo downgrade the human mind is bad theology.\n        ― C. K. Chesterton\n',
    '\nTo err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but not its programmer.\n        ― Morris Kingston\n',
    '\nTo err is human, to forgive divine.\n',
    '\nTo follow foolish precedents, and wink\nWith both our eyes, is easier than to think.\n        ― William Cowper\n',
    "\nTo invent products out of thin air, you don't ask people what they want ―\nafter all, who would've told you ten years ago that they needed a CD\nplayer? You ask them what problems they have when they get up in the\nmorning.\n        ― Robert Hall, Sr. Vice President, GVO, as quoted in the December,\n           1991, issue of Fortune\n",
    '\nTo invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.\n        ― Thomas Edison\n',
    '\nTo iterate is human, to recurse, divine.\n',
    '\nTo knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a\ndeep delight of the blood.\n        ― Georges Santayana\n',
    '\nTo know the world one must construct it.\n        ― Cesare Pavese\n',
    '\nTo laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.\n',
    '\nTo program anything that is programmable is obsession.\n', '\nTo program is to be.\n',
    '\nTo steal from a thief is not theft. It is merely irony.\n        ― Zorro, while retrieving money taxed from Californians\n',
    "\nTo steal from one person is theft. To steal from many is taxation.\n        ― Daiell's Law (a take-off on Felson's Law)\n",
    '\nTo teach is to learn.\n',
    '\nTo those accustomed to the precise, structured methods of conventional\nsystem development, exploratory development techniques may seem messy,\ninelegant, and unsatisfying. But it\'s a question of congruence: precision\nand flexibility may be just as disfunctional in novel, uncertain situations\nas sloppiness and vacillation are in familiar, well-defined ones. Those\nwho admire the massive, rigid bone structures of dinosaurs should remember\nthat jellyfish still enjoy their very secure ecological niche.\n        ― Beau Sheil, "Power Tools for Programmers"\n',
    '\nToday is the first day of the rest of your lossage.\n', '\nToday is the last day of your life so far.\n',
    '\nToo clever is dumb.\n        ― Ogden Nash\n', '\nToo much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.\n        ― Mae West\n',
    '\nTrespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted.\n',
    '\nTroglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.\n',
    '\nTrue innovation often comes from the small startup who is lean enough to\nlaunch a market but lacks the heft to own it.\n        ― Timm Martin\n',
    '\nTruth has always been found to promote the best interests of mankind.\n        ― Percy Bysshe Shelley\n',
    '\nTruthful, adj.: Dumb and illiterate.\n        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil\'s Dictionary"\n',
    '\nTry not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.\n        ― Charles Schulz\n',
    '\nTry to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.\n        ― Ashleigh Brilliant\n',
    '\nTrying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only\nspecification is that it should run noiselessly.\n',
    "\nTurnaucka's Law: The attention span of a computer is only as long as its\nelectrical cord.\n",
    "\nTussman's Law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.\n",
    '\nTwo can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.\n        ― Howard Kandel\n',
    '\nTwo men look out through the same bars; one sees mud, and one the stars.\n',
    '\nTwo percent of zero is almost nothing.\n', "\nUFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.\n",
    "\nUFOs are for real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist.\n",
    '\nUncertain fortune is thoroughly mastered by the equity of the calculation.\n        ― Blaise Pascal\n',
    "\nUncle Ed's Rule of Thumb:\n        Never use your thumb for a rule. You'll either hit it with a\n        hammer or get a splinter in it.\n",
    '\nUncompensated overtime? Just Say No.\n',
    '\nUnder any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some\nordinance under which you can be booked.\n        ― Robert D. Sprecht (Rand Corp)\n',
    "\nUnder deadline pressure for the next week. If you want something, it\ncan wait. Unless it's blind screaming paroxysmally hedonistic ...\n",
    '\nUnderlying Principle of Socio-Genetics:\n        Superiority is recessive.\n',
    '\nUnited Nations, New York, December 25. The peace and joy of the\nChristmas season was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of\nall the military forces of the world. Panic reigns in the hearts of\nall the patriots of every persuasion.\n\nMeanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all-time low over the\nworld.\n        ― Isaac Asimov\n',
    '\nUniverse, n.: The problem.\n',
    "\nUniversity, n.: Like a software house, except the software's free, and it's\nusable, and it works, and if it breaks they'll quickly tell you how to fix it.\n",
    "\nUNIX *is* user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.\n        ― unknown\n",
    '\nUnless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible.\n        ― Anthony Hope\n',
    '\nUnless you are very rich and very eccentric, you will not enjoy the luxury of\na computer in your own home.\n        ― Edward Yourdon, 1975.\n',
    '\nUse GOTOs only to implement a fundamental structure.\n', '\nUse debugging compilers.\n',
    '\nUse free-form input where possible.\n', '\nUse library functions.\n', '\nUse the Force, Luke.\n',
    '\nUseful knowledge is a great support for intuition.\n        ― Charles B. Rogers\n',
    '\nUsers of a tool are willing to meet you halfway; if you do ninety percent\nof the job, they will be ecstatic.\n        ― Software Tools, p.136.\n',
    "\nVMS isn't an operating system, it's a playpen for DEC system programmers.\n        ― Herb Blashtfalt\n",
    "\nVan Roy's Law: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.\n",
    "\nVariables won't. Constants aren't.\n",
    "\nVelilind's Laws of Experimentation:\n        1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only\n            once.\n        2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data\n            points.\n",
    '\nVery few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters.\n',
    '\nVests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.\n',
    '\nViolence is the last refuge of the incompetent.\n        ― Salvor Hardin\n',
    "\nVique's Law:\nA man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.\n", '\nVirtue is its own punishment.\n',
    "\nVital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving\nfrom where you left them to where you can't find them.\n",
    '\nVitamin C deficiency is apauling\n', '\nVolcano - a mountain with hiccups.\n', '\nVote anarchist.\n',
    '\nWalter, I love you, but sooner or later, you\'re going to have to face the\nfact you\'re a goddamn moron.\n        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")\n',
    '\nWar is menstruation envy.\n', '\nWaste not, get your budget cut next year.\n',
    '\nWasting time is an important part of living.\n', '\nWatch out for off-by-one errors.\n',
    '\nWe ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.\n        ― Whole Earth Catalog\n',
    "\nWe all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny.\n",
    '\nWe are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nWe are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.\n        ― Walt Kelly, "Pogo"\n',
    '\nWe are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.\n        ― Dwight D. Eisenhower\n',
    '\nWe are not alone.\n', '\nWe are what we pretend to be.\n        ― Kurt Vonnegut, JR\n',
    '\nWe call our dog Egypt, because in every room he leaves a pyramid.\n',
    '\nWe can defeat gravity. The problem is the paperwork involved.\n',
    "\nWe can't let children think it's okay to dress up like Vikings and go\naround hollering.\n        ― Dogbert, on opera\n",
    "\nWe can't schedule an orgy, it might be construed as fighting\n        ― Stanley Sutton\n",
    '\nWe cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you.\n',
    "\nWe don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company.\n",
    "\nWe don't know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasn't a fish.\n        ― John Culkin\n",
    "\nWe don't want to discourage the innovators and those who take risks because\nthey're afraid of getting sued by a lawsuit.\n        ― George W. Bush; Washington, D.C.; June 24, 2004\n",
    '\nWe few, we happy few, we band of brothers;\nFor he to-day that sheds his blood with me\nShall be my brother; be he ne\'er so vile,\nThis day shall gentle his condition:\nAnd gentlemen in England now a-bed\nShall think themselves accursed they were not here,\nAnd hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks\nThat fought with us upon Saint Crispin\'s day.\n        ― King Henry V, "Henry V", Act IV, Scene 3\n',
    '\nWe have met the enemy and he is us\n        ― Walt Kelly (in POGO)\n',
    '\nWe learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.\n',
    '\nWe may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always\nrespect their good judgement.\n',
    '\nWe must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately.\n        ― Benjamin Franklin\n',
    '\nThey that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety\ndeserve neither liberty nor safety.\n        ― Benjamin Franklin\xa0\xa0\n',
    '\nWe must remember the First Amendment which protects any shrill jackass\nno matter how self-seeking.\n        ― F. G. Withington\n',
    '\nWe now return you to your regularly scheduled program.\n',
    '\nWe want to create puppets that pull their own strings.\n        ― Ann Marion\n',
    '\nWe were spanking each other with meat and then suddenly it got weird.\n        ― Joe Hacket\n',
    '\nWe will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one\ntechnical problem ― how to run a sunbeam through a meter.\n',
    '\nWe work to become, not to acquire.\n        ― Elbert Hubbard\n',
    "\nWe'll be a great country where the fabrics are made up of groups and\nloving centers.\n        ― George W. Bush, Kalamazoo, Michigan; March 27, 2001\n",
    '\nWe\'re fighting for this woman\'s honor, which is more than she ever did.\n        ― Rufus T. Firefly, in "Duck Soup"\n',
    "\nWe're here to give you a computer, not a religion.\n        ― attributed to Bob Pariseau, at the introduction of the Amiga\n",
    "\nWe're the weirdest monkeys ever.\n        ― Karl Lehenbauer\n",
    "\nWe've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center\nof the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week,\nbut for some reason nobody's ever done it.\n        ― Andy Rooney\n",
    '\nWear me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong\nas death, passion cruel as the grave; it blazes up like blazing fire, fiercer\nthan any flame.\n        [Song of Solomon 8:6 (NEB)]\n',
    "\nWeiler's Law:\n        Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.\n",
    "\nWeinberg's First Law: Progress is made on alternate Fridays.\n",
    "\nWeinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers\nwrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy\ncivilization.\n",
    '\nWelcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!\n',
    '\nWelcome to the human race, with its wars, disease and brutality.\n        ― Chrissie Hynde (The Pretenders), "Show Me"\n',
    '\nWelcome to The Machine.\n',
    "\nWelcome to the working week.\nI know it don't thrill you\nI hope it don't kill you.\n",
    "\nWell, I killed my own grandfather and here I am! Guess there's no paradox\nwhen time travel isn't involved.\n        ― Andrew Kennedy\n",
    '\nWell, well, well! Well if it isn\'t fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in\npoison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come\nand get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!\n        ― Alex in "Clockwork Orange"\n',
    '\nWell, you see, it\'s such a transitional creature. It\'s a piss-poor\nreptile and not very much of a bird.\n        ― Melvin Konner, from "The Tangled Wing", quoting a zoologist who has\n        studied the archeopteryx and found it "very much like people"\n',
    '\nWere there fewer fools, knaves would starve.\n        ― Anonymous\n',
    "\nWestheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently\nsave a couple of hours in the library.\n",
    "\nWethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.\n",
    "\nWhat a waste it is to lose one's mind ― or not to have a mind at all.\nHow true that is.\n         ― V.P. Dan Quayle, garbling the United Negro College Fund slogan\n            in an address to the group (from Newsweek, May 22nd, 1989)\n",
    '\nWhat are you doing wrong with our bug-free product?\n',
    '\nWhat cannot be eaten must be civilized.\n        ― Peter Taylor\n',
    "\nWhat do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick!\n        ― Bill Kirchenbaum, comedian\n",
    '\nWhat does it mean if there is no fortune for you?\n', '\nWhat garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.\n',
    '\nWhat happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes.\n',
    '\nWhat is a magician but a practising theorist?\n        ― Obi-Wan Kenobi\n',
    '\nWhat is mind? No matter.\nWhat is matter? Never mind.\n        ― Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875\n',
    "\nWhat is the difference between the modern computer and a Turing machine?\nIt's the same as that between Hillary's ascent of Everest and the\nestablishment of a Hilton on its peak.\n",
    "\nWhat is tolerance? ― it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed\nof frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly ―\nthat is the first law of nature.\n        ― Voltaire\n",
    '\nWhat is vice today may be virtue tomorrow.\n', '\nWhat is virtue today may be vice tomorrow.\n',
    '\nWhat is worth doing is worth delegating.\n',
    '\nWhat is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do.\n',
    "\nWhat makes the Universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing\nto compare it with.\n",
    '\nWhat publishers are looking for these days isn\'t radical feminism. It\'s\ncorporate feminism ― a brand of feminism designed to sell books and\nmagazines, three-piece suits, airline tickets, Scotch, cigarettes and, most\nimportant, corporate America\'s message, which runs: "Yes, women were\ndiscriminated against in the past, but that unfortunate mistake has been\nremedied; now every woman can attain wealth, prestige and power by dint of\nindividual rather than collective effort."\n        ― Susan Gordon\n',
    '\nWhat sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?\n        ― Ursula K. LeGuin\n',
    '\nWhat sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?\n',
    '\nWhat the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.\n',
    '\nWhat the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.\n',
    '\nWhat this calls for is a special blend of psychology and extreme violence.\n        ― Vyvyan Basterd, "The Young Ones"\n',
    '\nWhat this country needs is a good 5 dollar plasma weapon.\n',
    '\nWhat this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!\n',
    '\nWhat this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.\n',
    '\nWhat this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.\n',
    '\nWhat use is magic if it can\'t save a unicorn?\n        ― Peter S. Beagle, "The Last Unicorn"\n',
    '\nWhat we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.\n        ― Bengamin Disraeli\n',
    '\nWhat we do not understand we do not possess.\n        ― Goethe\n',
    "\nWhat's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?\n", '\nWhat, me worry?\n',
    '\nWhat boots it at one gate to make defence,\nAnd at another to let in the foe?\n        ― John Milton, Samson Agonistes (l. 560)\n',
    '\nWhatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.\n        ― Collis P. Huntingdon\n',
    '\nWhen I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young\nladies, and, of course, the goat.\n',
    '\nWhen I sell liquor, its called bootlegging; when my patrons serve\nit on Lake Shore Drive, its called hospitality.\n        ― Al Capone\n',
    "\nWhen I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now\nI'm beginning to believe it.\n        ― Clarence Darrow\n",
    "\nWhen I was in my twenties, not shaving for a few days gave me a cool Don\nJohnson/Miami Vice look. Now that I'm in my forties, though, it tends to\nmake me look more like Otis from Mayberry.\n        ― Tom Gray\n",
    '\nWhen I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into\nthe soul of the boy sitting next to me.\n        ― Woody Allen\n',
    '\nWhen you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.\n',
    "\nWhen Yahweh your gods has settled you in the land you're about to occupy, and\ndriven out many infidels before you...you're to cut them down and exterminate\nthem. You're to make no compromise with them or show them any mercy.\n[Deut. 7:1 (KJV)]\n",
    "\nWhen a Banker jumps out of a window, jump after him ― that's where the\nmoney is.\n        ― Robespierre\n",
    '\nWhen a fellow says, "It ain\'t the money but the principle of the\nthing," it\'s the money.\n        ― Kim Hubbard\n',
    '\nWhen a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half loop?\n',
    "\nWhen a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is\nnot far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space\ntravel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.\n        ― Robert Heinlein\n",
    '\nWhen a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the\nsport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain\nrelationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.\n        ― Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"\n',
    '\nWhen all other means of communication fail, try words.\n',
    '\nWhen asked, "If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United\nStates, then why do you live here?" Mencken replied, "Why do men go to zoos?"\n',
    '\nWhen bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one,\nan unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.\n        ― Edmund Burke\n',
    "\nWhen choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried\nbefore.\n        ― Mae West\n",
    '\nWhen does summertime come to Minnesota, you ask? Well, last year, I\nthink it was a Tuesday.\n',
    '\nWhen everything has been seen to work, all integrated, you have four more\nmonths of work to do.\n        ― C. Portman of ICL Ltd.\n',
    '\nWhen in doubt, do what the President does ― guess.\n', '\nWhen in doubt, lead trump.\n',
    '\nWhen in doubt, punt.\n', '\nWhen in doubt, use brute force.\n        ― Ken Thompson\n',
    "\nWhen love is gone, there's always justice.\nAnd when justice is gone, there's always force.\nAnd when force is gone, there's always Mom.\nHi, Mom!\n        ― Laurie Anderson\n",
    '\nWhen more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.\n        ― Calvin Coolidge\n',
    '\nWhen people thought the earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought\nthe earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the\nearth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the earth is flat, then your\nview is wronger than both of them put together.\n        ― Isaac Asimov, "The Relativity of Wrong",\n           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 14 No. 1, Fall 1989\n',
    '\nWhen someone says "I want a programming language in which I need only\nsay what I wish done," give him a lollipop.\n        ― Alan J. Perlis\n',
    "\nWhen the government bureau's remedies do not match your problem, you\nmodify the problem, not the remedy.\n",
    '\nWhen the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.\n',
    '\nWhen two people are under the influence of the most violent, most\ninsane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are\nrequired to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and\nexhausting condition continuously until death do them part.\n        ― George Bernard Shaw\n',
    '\nWhen we are ignorant of the answer to an important question, one way\nto proceed is to ask which path of inquiry promises best to facilitate\nlearning.\n        ― Timothy Ferris, "The Mind\'s Sky: Human Intelligence in a\n           Cosmic Context."\n',
    '\nWhen we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is\nnot hereditary.\n        ― Thomas Paine\n',
    "\nWhen we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find\nanyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains,\ntwo lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the\nhistory of war have so few been led by so many.\n        ― General James Gavin\n",
    '\nWhen you are alone you are all your own.\n        ― Leonardo da Vinci\n',
    '\nWhen you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.\n',
    '\nWhen you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.\n',
    '\nWhen you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.\n        ― Harry S Truman\n',
    '\nWhen you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.\n        ― The Wall Street Journal\n',
    '\nWhenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really".\n        ― Dave Parnas\n',
    '\nWhenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.\n        ― Oscar Wilde\n',
    '\nWhere a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried\n        ― Thomas Jefferson\n',
    '\nWhere humor is concerned there are no standards ― no one can say what\nis good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.\n        ― John Kenneth Galbraith\n',
    '\nWhere is it written in the Constitution that you may take children from their\nparents, and parents from their children, and compel them to fight the battles\nof any war in which the folly or wickedness of government may engage it?\n        ― Daniel Webster, 1814\n',
    "\nWhere there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.\n",
    '\nWherever you go, there you are.\n        ― Buckaroo Banzai\n',
    '\nWhether you can hear it or not\nThe Universe is laughing behind your back\n        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"\n',
    '\nWhile Europe\'s eye is fix\'d on mighty things,\nThe fate of empires and the fall of kings;\nWhile quacks of State must each produce his plan,\nAnd even children lisp the Rights of Man;\nAmid this mighty fuss just let me mention,\nThe Rights of Woman merit some attention.\n        ― Robert Burns, Address on "The Rights of Woman",\n                   November 26, 1792\n',
    '\nWhile anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is\nadmission to someone else.\n',
    "\nWhile money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own\nform of misery.\n",
    "\nWhile most peoples' opinions change, the conviction of their correctness never\ndoes.\n",
    "\nWhile you don't greatly need the outside world, it's still very reassuring to\nknow that it's still there.\n",
    '\nWhipit! Whipit good!\n',
    "\nWhistler's Law:\n        You never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge.\n",
    '\nWho has more leisure than a worm?\n        - Seneca\n',
    '\nWho is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?\n',
    "\nWho made the world I cannot tell;\n'Tis made, and here am I in hell.\nMy hand, though now my knuckles bleed,\nI never soiled with such a deed.\n        ― A. E. Housman\n",
    '\nWho needs companionship when you can sit alone in your room and masturbate?\n',
    '\nWho works achieves and who sows reaps.\n        ― Arab Proverb\n', "\nWho's on first?\n",
    '\nWhom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.\n',
    '\nWhoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.\n        ― Book of Proverbs\n',
    '\nWhy did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to\navoid responsibility with?\n',
    '\nWhy does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently\nthere must be a beverage.\n        ― Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"\n',
    '\nWhy does opportunity always knock at the least opportune moment?\n',
    '\nWhy is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that\nhappens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told\nit to the same person?\n        ― La Rochefoucauld\n',
    "\nWhy is it that there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?\n        ― G. Gordon Liddy\n",
    '\nWhy isn\'t "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?\n',
    "\nWhy isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?\n        ― Lily Tomlin\n",
    "\nWiker's Law: Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some.\n",
    "\nWiker's Law:\n        Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.\n",
    '\nWill the highways on the Internet become more few?\n        ― George W. Bush, Concord, NH; January 29, 2000\n',
    "\nWilliams and Holland's Law:\n        If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by\n        statistical methods.\n",
    '\nWinter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as\nit was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.\n',
    "\nWith all the fancy scientists in the world, why can't they just once\nbuild a nuclear balm?\n",
    '\nWith clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.\n',
    '\nWith every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand\nmiles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and\nstill there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no\nsuch thing as progress.\n        ― Ransom K. Ferm\n',
    '\nWith friends like these, who need hallucinations?\n',
    '\nWith great effort, you move the rug aside, revealing a trap door.\n',
    '\nWithout coffee he could not work, or at least he could not have worked in\nthe way he did. In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere\nas an indispensable article of equipment the coffee machine, which was no\nless important to him than his table or his white robe.\n        ― Stefan Zweigs, Biography of Balzac\n',
    '\nWithout ice cream life and fame are meaningless.\n', '\nWords are the voice of the heart.\n',
    '\nWords must be weighed, not counted.\n',
    '\nWorst Vegetable of the Year: The brussels sprout.\nThis is also the worst vegetable of next year.\n        ― Steve Rubenstein\n',
    "\nWozencraft's Law: If you make all of your plans on the assumption that a\nparticular thing won't happen―it will.\n",
    '\nWriting code has a place in the human hierarchy worth somewhere above grave\nrobbing and beneath managing.\n        ― Gerald Weinberg\n',
    '\nWriting free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.\n',
    '\nWriting in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards\nremoved.\n        ― Bob Gray\n',
    "\nWriting programs needs genius to save the last order or the last millisecond.\nIt is great fun, but it is a young man's game. You start it with great\nenthusiasm when you first start programming, but after ten years you get a\nbit bored with it, and then you turn to automatic-programming languages and\nuse them because they enable you to get to the heart of the problem that you\nwant to do, instead of having to concentrate on the mechanics of getting the\nprogram going as fast as you possibly can, which is really nothing more than\ndoing a sort of crossword puzzle.\n        ― Christopher Strachey, 1962\n",
    '\nXerox does it again and again and again and ...\n', '\nXerox never comes up with anything original.\n',
    '\nXML is just data with that Internet shit wrapped around it.\n        ― Joe Romello, by way of Steve Sapovits\n',
    '\nYes, but every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.\n',
    '\nYes, but which self do you want to be?\n',
    "\nYes, many primitive people still believe this myth...But in today's technical\nvastness of the future, we can guess that surely things were much different.\n        ― The Firesign Theater\n",
    '\nYes, we have no bonanzas.\n',
    "\nYesterday upon the stair\nI met a man who wasn't there.\nHe wasn't there again today ―\nI think he's from the CIA.\n",
    '\nYield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.\n        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"\n',
    '\nYinkel, n.: A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one\nwill notice.\n        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"\n',
    '\nYou can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.\n        ― Al Capone\n',
    "\nYou can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.\n",
    "\nYou can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on\nthe continuing viability of FORTRAN.\n        ― Alan Perlis\n",
    '\nYou can never get all the facts from just one newspaper, and unless you\nhave all the facts, you cannot make proper judgements about what is going on.\n        ― Harry S Truman\n',
    '\nYou can observe a lot just by watching.\n        ― Yogi Berra\n',
    '\nYou can often profit from being at a loss for words.\n        ― Frank Tyger\n',
    "\nYou can take all the impact that science considerations have on funding\ndecisions at NASA, put them in the navel of a flea, and have room left\nover for a caraway seed and Tony Calio's heart.\n        ― F. Allen\n",
    '\nYou can tell how far we have to go, when FORTRAN is the language of\nsupercomputers.\n        ― Steven Feiner\n',
    "\nYou can't antagonize and influence at the same time.\n",
    "\nYou can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.\n",
    "\nYou can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.\n", "\nYou can't get there from here.\n",
    "\nYou can't have great software without a great team, and most software teams\nbehave like dysfunctional families.\n        ― Jim McCarthy\n",
    "\nYou can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.\n",
    "\nYou can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic\nenough worrying about what's happening now.\n        ― Lauren Bacall\n",
    "\nYou can't teach self-esteem. Self-esteem arises from attempting challenging\ntasks and mastering them.\n",
    "\nYou can't underestimate the power of fear.\n        ― Tricia Nixon\n",
    '\nYou cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.\n',
    '\nYou cannot build a reputation on what you are going to do.\n        ― Henry Ford\n',
    '\nYou cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.\n',
    '\nYou cannot succeed by criticizing others.\n',
    "\nYou couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.\n        ― Ed Meese, on the Hinckley verdict\n",
    "\nYou don't have to explain something you never said.\n        ― Calvin Coolidge\n",
    "\nYou don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.\n        ― J. D. Salinger\n",
    '\nYou know, you really half give me a buzz.\n        ― Stevie Ray Vaughan, "Honey Bee" (from "Couldn\'t Stand the Weather")\n',
    "\nYou know why there are so few sophisticated computer terrorists in the United\nStates? Because your hackers have so much mobility into the establishment.\nHere, there is no such mobility. If you have the slightest bit of\nintellectual integrity you cannot support the government.... That's why the\nbest computer minds belong to the opposition.\n        ― an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity\n",
    '\nYou may call me by my name, Wirth, or by my value, Worth.\n        ― Nicklaus Wirth\n',
    '\nYou may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.\n        ― Alfred Kahn\n',
    '\nYou never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.\n',
    '\nYou never finish a program, you just stop working on it.\n',
    '\nYou or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you.\nI should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but\nwe take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.\n        ― J. Wellington Wells\n',
    '\nYou see but you do not observe.\n        ― Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, in "The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes"\n',
    "\nYou should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially\nif they are dead.\n",
    '\nYou should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for\nfreedom and liberty.\n        ― Henrick Ibson\n',
    "\nYou're never too old to become younger.\n        ― Mae West\n",
    '\nYour attitude determines your attitude.\n        ― Zig Ziglar, self-improvement doofus\n',
    '\nYour conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you\nfrom enjoying it.\n',
    '\nYour mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.\n',
    '\nYour mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.\n',
    "\nYour reality is lies and balderdash, and I'm glad to say that I have no grasp\nof it.\n        ― Baron von Munchausen\n",
    '\nYour true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.\n', '\nYouth is the trustee of posterity.\n',
    '\nYouth is wasted on the young.\n        ― George Bernard Shaw\n',
    '\nYouth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is\nwhen you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.\n',
    '\nZero Defects, n.: The result of shutting down a production line.\n',
    "\nZimmerman's Law of Complaints: Nobody notices when things go right.\n",
    '\nZounds! I was never so bethumped with words\nsince I first called my brother\'s father dad.\n        ― William Shakespeare, "King John"\n',
    "\nZymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor:\n        People are always available for work in the past tense.\n",
    '\n[In the U. S. Army] An officer does not take an oath of loyalty to the\nCommander-in-Chief.  He takes an oath of loyalty to the Constitution.\n        ― Sam Donaldson\n',
    '\n[Leslie Stahl was] a pussy compared to Rather.\n        ― George H. W. Bush\n',
    "\ngrep me no patterns and I'll tell you no lines.\n",
    '\nAfter all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare\n',
    '\nAll successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They\nnever defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced\nupon them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919.\n',
    '\nA man who can laugh, if only at himself, is never really miserable.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956\n',
    '\nCollege football is a game which would be much more interesting if the\nfaculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the\ntrustees played. There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and\nnecks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss to humanity.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nConscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.\n',
    '\nDemocracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by\nJackasses.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nDemocracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nEvery normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the\nblack flag, and begin slitting throats.\n        ― H.L. Mencken\n',
    '\nFaith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the\nimprobable.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nExplanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a\nwell-known solution to every human problem — neat, plausible, and wrong.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, "The Divine Afflatus" (16 November 1917)\n',
    '\nEquality before the law is probably forever inattainable. It is a noble\nideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is\nnot rights but privileges.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956\n',
    '\nFaith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the\nimprobable.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, "Prejudices: Third Series", 1922\n',
    '\nFor one American husband who maintains a chorus girl in Levantine luxury\naround the corner, there are hundreds who are as true to their oaths, year\nin and year out, as so many convicts in the deathhouse.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, In Defense of Women, 1922.\n',
    '\nI believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind―that\nits modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been\nmore than overborne by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, "Forum" (September, 1930)\n',
    '\nI go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nJudge: a law student who marks his own examination papers.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955\n',
    '\nLove is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.\n        ― attributed to H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nMen have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry\nlater. For another thing, they die earlier.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy, 1949.\n',
    '\nMy guess is that well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through\nlife without ever having a single original thought. That is to say, they\nnever think anything that has not been thought before, and by thousands. A\nsociety made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought\nwould probably be unendurable. The pressure of ideas would simply drive it\nfrantic.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956\n',
    '\nNever let your inferiors do you a favor. It will be extremely costly.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.\n',
    '\nNo government is ever really in favor of so-called civil rights. It always\ntries to whittle them down. They are preserved under all governments,\ninsofar as they survive at all, by special classes of fanatics, often\nhighly dubious.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956\n',
    '\nNo one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.\n        ― Attributed to H.L. Mencken.\n',
    '\nNowhere in the world is superiority more easily attained, or more eagerly\nadmitted. The chief business of the nation, as a nation, is the setting up\nof heroes, mainly bogus.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1923.\n',
    '\nOnce he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his\nroars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the\nforlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind\nthe railroad yards.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan,\n           counsel for the supporters of Tennessee\'s anti-evolution\n           law at the Scopes "Monkey Trial" in 1925.\n',
    '\nSay what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to\nthe pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nSin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the\ncongenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nSuppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives\nwere dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we\nlose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites?\n        ― H. L. Mencken, "Prejudices, Fourth Series" (1924)\n',
    '\nThe capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater\nthan that of any other animal.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nThe chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof\nthat God is a bore.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, "The Aesthetic Recoil," American Mercury, July, 1931.\n',
    '\nThe great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even\nordinarily respectable. No virtuous man―that is, virtuous in the YMCA\nsense―has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony\nworth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that\nthe thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919.\n',
    '\nThe highfalutin aims of democracy, whether real or imaginary, are always\nassumed to be identical with its achievements. This, of course, is sheer\nhallucination. Not one of those aims, not even the aim of giving every\nadult a vote, has been realized. It has no more made men wise and free than\nChristianity has made them good.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956\n',
    '\nThe most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not\ntrue. It is the chief occupation of mankind.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy, 1949.\n',
    '\nThe notion that science does not concern itself with first causes―that\nit leaves the field to theology or metaphysics, and confines itself to mere\neffects―this notion has no support in the plain facts. If it could,\nscience would explain the origin of life on earth at once ― and there is\nevery reason to believe that it will do so on some not too remote tomorrow.\nTo argue that gaps in knowledge which will confront the seeker must be\nfilled, not by patient inquiry, but by intuition or revelation, is simply\nto give ignorance a gratuitous and preposterous dignity....\n        ― H. L. Mencken, 1930\n',
    '\nThe one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear―fear of the unknown,\nthe complex, the inexplicable. What he wants beyond everything else is safety.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1920.\n',
    '\nThe truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only\nopposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts\nat rational thinking. Not by accident does Genesis 3 make the father of\nknowledge a serpent ― slimy, sneaking and abominable. Since the earliest\ndays the church as an organization has thrown itself violently against every\neffort to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and\neverywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad\nlaws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an\napologist for slavery, as it was the apologist for the divine right of kings.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nThe whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence\nclamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of\nhobgoblins, all of them imaginary.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n',
    '\nThere is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,\nhowever marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable.\nSoon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be\ndiscovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator on\nhis own account. The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is even\nhighly probable.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, 1930\n',
    '\nTo sum up: 1. The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel making 10,000 revolutions\na minute. 2. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. 3. Religion is the\ntheory that the wheel was designed and set spinning to give him the ride.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, Coda from "Smart Set", 1920\n',
    "\nWhen a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of\nsense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that\nthey are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save\nthe most elemental — men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and\nwhose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted,\nthe candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost... All the odds are on\nthe man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can\nmost adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The\nPresidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected,\nthe office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We\nmove toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of\nthe land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be\nadorned by a downright moron.\n        ― H. L. Mencken\n",
    '\nWhen women kiss it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.\n',
    '\nWhen A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a\nscoundrel.\n        ― H. L. Mencken, "Newspaper Days: 1899-1906" (1941)\n',
    '\nWhenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country it is a sign that\nhe expects to be paid for it.\n        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.\n',
    '\nFrom Fronto I learned to observe what envy, and duplicity, and hypocrisy are\nin a tyrant, and that generally those among us who are called Patricians are\nrather deficient in paternal affection.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book I\n',
    '\nThe time of a man\'s life is as a point; the substance of it ever flowing, the\nsense obscure; and the whole composition of the body tending to corruption.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II\n',
    '\nThat [life] which is longest of duration, and that which is shortest, both\ncome to one effect.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II\n',
    '\nYou must, therefore, hasten, not only because you are every day nearer to\ndeath, but also because your intellect, which enables you to know the true\nnature of things and to order all your actions by that knowledge, wastes and\ndecays daily―or, may fail you before you die.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II\n',
    '\nNever esteem of anything as profitable, which shell ever constrain thee to\nbreak thy faith, or to lose thy modestroy; to hate any man, to suspect to\ncurse, to dissemble, to lust after anything, that requireth the secret of\nwalls or veils.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book III\n',
    '\nHe who prefers, before all things, his rational part and spirit... he shall\nnever lament and exclaim; never sigh; he shall never want either solitude\nor company; and, which is chiefest of all, he shall live without either\ndesire or fear.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book III\n',
    '\nLet no act be done without a purpose, nor otherwise than according to the\nperfect principles of art.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nTake away your opinion, and you then take away the complaint, "I have been\nharmed." Take away the complaint, "I have been harmed," and the harm is taken\naway.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nMany grains of frankincense on the same altar: one falls before, another falls\nafter; but it makes no difference.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nDo not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over\nyou. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nHow much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbour says or\ndoes or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nEverything which is in any way beautiful is beautiful in itself, and\nterminates in itself, not having praise as part of itself. Neither worse,\nthen, nor better is a thing made by being praised.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nThe words which were formerly familiar are now antiquated: so also the names\nof those who were famed of old, are now in a manner antiquated... For all\nthings soon pass away and become a mere tale, and complete oblivion soon\nburies them.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nEverything is only for a day, both that which remembers and that which is\nremembered.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nThou art a little soul bearing about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say. \n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nTime is like a river made up of the events which happen, and a violent stream;\nfor as soon as a thing has been seen, it is carried away, and another comes in\nits place, and this will be carried away too.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nBe like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it\nstands firm and tames the fury of the water around it.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV\n',
    '\nHow easy it is to repel and to wipe away every impression which is troublesome\nor unsuitable, and immediately to be in all tranquility.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book V\n',
    '\nTo seek what is impossible is madness: and it is impossible that the bad\nshould not do something of this kind.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book V\n',
    '\nThe best way of avenging yourself is not to become like the wrong-doer.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VI\n',
    '\nIf any man is able to convince me and show me that I do not think or act\nright, I will gladly change; for I seek the truth by which no man was ever\ninjured. But he is injured who abides in his error and ignorance.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VI\n',
    '\nLet not future things disturb you, for you will come to them, if it shall be\nnecessary, having with you the same reason which you now use for present\nthings.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VII\n',
    '\nReceive wealth or prosperity without arrogance; and be ready to let it go.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VIII\n',
    '\nHe often acts unjustly who does not do a certain thing; not only he who does a\ncertain thing.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IX\n',
    '\nIt is your duty to leave another man\'s wrongful act there, where it is.\n        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IX\n',
    '\nAmerica is a ball of Appalachia with a thin coating of civility.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nAmerican justice is measured by the amount of money you are willing to risk\nto make your point.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nAmerica has become a tired old whore, selling her institutions like back alley\nblowjobs to fat cat businessmen for their pocket change.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nBut in the end I remind myself that people are merely shaved apes, and\npretty much spend their time masturbating and throwing feces.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nI am waiting for the "Internet Beermeister," so hackers can wage a\n"Denial of Cerveza" attack.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    "\nMoney doesn't stretch―if somebody makes a killing, somebody else loses\nhis shirt.\n        ― Rich Simons\n",
    "\nNever work anywhere where you can't find the guy in charge and break his nose.\n        ― Rich Simons\n",
    '\nNothing is more dangerous than a man whose actions are the responsibility\nof his deity.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nSome people hold their noses when used as toilet paper by the shadowy\noverlords; some people inhale the heady aroma with gusto.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nThose who sacrifice liberty for the sake of safety deserve neither, but those\nwho sacrifice creativity for safety end up with a velvet painting of Elvis.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nWindows is a manifestation of commerce; Unix is a manifestation of culture.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    "\nWorking in Windows is like baking moose shit pie. Sure, you're baking pies, but\nlook what's in 'em.\n        ― Rich Simons\n",
    '\nI prefer the company of men without ovaries.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nThe American business executive resembles the Ferengi more each day. In another\n20 years, there will be dorm rooms full of toothless hillbillies at the Amazon\nfulfillment centers and the Walmarts.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    "\nBe cautious of those who give you advice. That's my advice to you.\n        ― Steve Mayr\n",
    '\nIf you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Sounds like a plan.\n        ― Steve Mayr\n',
    '\nIf you take the easy way out, nothing will come easy.\n        ― Steve Mayr\n',
    '\nBy and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.\n        ― George Carlin\n',
    '\nHere\'s a bumper sticker I\'d like to see: "We are the proud parents of a child\nwhose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn\'t need us promoting his minor\nscholastic achievements on the back of our car."\n        ― George Carlin\n',
    "\nHonesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently,\nby elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.\n        ― George Carlin\n",
    "\nI have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who\nbelieve it.\n        ― George Carlin\n",
    "\nI'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that\nthese two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them\ntogether is certain death.\n        ― George Carlin\n",
    "\nI think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and\ncross it deliberately.\n        ― George Carlin\n",
    "\nIf it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say\nthe universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.\n        ― George Carlin\n",
    "\nIf God had intended us not to masturbate, he would've made our arms shorter.\n        ― George Carlin\n",
    "\nIf this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.\n        ― George Carlin\n",
    '\nJust because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn\'t make you\nSpiritual. It\'s right above the crack of your butt. And it translates to\n"beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were\npraying to God you weren\'t pregnant. You\'re not spiritual.\n        ― George Carlin\n',
    '\nThe very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone\nsaid to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire,\nbut I\'m just not close enough to get the job done."\n        ― George Carlin\n',
    '\nThere are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.\n        ― George Carlin\n',
    '\nAmerican justice is measured by the amount of money you are willing to risk\nto make your point.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nAmerica has become a tired old whore, selling her institutions like back alley\nblowjobs to fat cat businessmen for their pocket change.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nBut in the end I remind myself that people are merely shaved apes, and\npretty much spend their time masturbating and throwing feces.\n        ― Rich Simons\n',
    '\nAnybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I\'m concerned ― I\nsupport your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you\nexhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to\nshare your dogma, rapture or necrodestination.\n        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"\n',
    "\nDon't eat yellow snow.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n",
    "\nHey, you know something, people? I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of\ntimes I wish I could say I'm not white.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n",
    '\nI never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    '\nI think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else\nthat has ever happened, and vice versa.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    '\nIf you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your\nmother, your Dad, your priest, to some guy on television, to any of the\npeople telling you how to do your shit, then you *deserve* it. If you\nwant to be a schmuck, be a schmuck ― but don\'t wait around for respect\nfrom other people ― a schmuck is a schmuck.\n        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"\n',
    '\nIn the future, etiquette will become more and more important. That doesn\'t\nmean knowing which fork to pick up ― I mean basic consideration for the\nrights of other animals (human beings included) and the willingness,\nwhenever practical, to tolerate the other guy\'s idiosyncrasies.\n        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"\n',
    '\nIs that a real poncho? I mean, is that a Mexican poncho or a Sears poncho?\nHmmm... No fooling.\n        ― Frank Zappa, "Camarillo Brillo"\n',
    "\nMost people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n",
    '\nModern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    "\nMost rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't\ntalk for the people who can't read.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n",
    '\nMy best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child\nis: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    '\nRemember, Information is not knowledge; Knowledge is not Wisdom;\nWisdom is not truth; Truth is not beauty; Beauty is not love;\nLove is not music; Music is the best.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    "\nRemember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n",
    '\nTake the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to\nthe Bible? Who wins?\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    '\nThe bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma,\nlike the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave\nbaseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a\nperson could get excited about playing the bassoon.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    "\nThe Book says BURN and DESTROY repent and redeem and revenge and deploy and\nrumble thee forth to the land of the unbelieving scum 'cause they don't go\nfor what's in the Book and that makes 'em BAD.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n",
    "\nThe computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact\nmathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n",
    '\nThe essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history.\nThe fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is,\n"All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was\ngoing on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your\nfucking mouth shut and hadn\'t asked any questions."\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    '\nThere is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer\nshelf life.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n',
    "\nThere is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful,\nthat it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.\n        ― Frank Zappa\n",
    '\nOur brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.\n        ― Randall Munroe, xkcd\n',
    '\nThere\'s no such thing as bad language. I don\'t believe that any more. That\'s\nridiculous. They call it a "debasing of the language?" No! We are adults.\nThese are the words that WE use, to express frustration, rage, anger―in\norder that we don\'t pick up a tire iron and beat the shit out of someone.\n        ― Lewis Black\n',
    "\nI don't know if you noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit\nlooking in the mirror at itself.\n        ― Lewis Black\n",
    '\nThere is a big difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament,\nand that is, the New Testament God is kind of a great guy (He is!), especially\nwhen you compare him to the Old Testament God, who is a prick.\n        ― Lewis Black\n',
    "\nThe reason you should go to Las Vegas is because, for only the second time,\nthe second time, ever, they have rebuilt Sodom and Gomorrah. It's back!!\nAnd you have the opportunity to see it before it turns to salt. And you\nwanna get out there before the Christian Right finds out what we're up to\nand shits all over it.\n        ― Lewis Black\n",
    '\n[The Weather Channel] is the most watched cable channel in America. I\'ll\nrepeat that. It is the most watched cable channel in America. They were\nworried about the terrorists immobilizing us, and a portion of our\ncountrymen watch weather. \'Kay, you don\'t get any more immobile than\nthat... unless you\'re in a goddamn coma. That means you\'re saying, "I\'d go\nto the window, but it\'s too far." If you want to know what the weather is\nyou go to a window and stick your hand out and if you want to know what the\ntemperature is you drive by a bank.\n        ― Lewis Black\n',
    "\nThere's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. But they couldn't sell\nsoy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice,\nyou actually... start to gag.\n        ― Lewis Black\n",
    "\nYou don't want another Enron? Here's the law: If you have a company, and it\ncan't explain, in one sentence... what it does... it's illegal!\n        ― Lewis Black\n",
    '\nThe one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the\nRepublicans are completely worthless.\n        ― Lewis Black\n',
    "\nIf mzero doesn't need to be a single, unambiguous value, then the algebra\nof monads would seem to be a bit hinky.\n        ― A tweet from @djspiewak (Daniel J. Spiewak)\n",
    "\nA monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors, what's the problem?\n        ― Saunders Mac Lane, filtered through James Iry\n",
    "\nReal knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.\n        ― Confucius\n",
    '\nRotten wood cannot be carved.\n        ― Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Chapter 9)\n',
    "\nMen's natures are alike. It is their habits that carry them far apart.\n        ― Confucius\n",
    '\nOur greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.\n        ― Confucius\n',
    '\nIt does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.\n        ― Confucius\n',
    '\nWe like to think we spend most of our time power-typing. "I\'m being productive,\nI\'m writing programs!" But, we don\'t. We spend most of our time looking into\nthe abyss, saying, "My God, what have I done?"\n        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011\n',
    '\n"That hardly ever happens" is another way of saying, "It happens".\n        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011\n',
    '\nI used to think everyone should learn programming. When I first starting\nprogramming...I thought, "Wow, this is such an amazing way to organize\ninformation! Everybody should learn to do this!" I don\'t think that any more. I\nthink there has to be something seriously wrong with you, in order to do this\nwork. A normal person, once they\'ve looked into the abyss, will say, "I\'m done.\nThis is stupid. I\'m going to go to something else." But not us, \'cause there\'s\nsomething really wrong with us.\n        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011\n',
    '\nConfusion must be avoided. Confusion is the enemy. Confusion is what causes\nbugs and security mishaps and all the other things that make us miserable.\n        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011\n',
    '\nWrite [code] in a way that clearly communicates your intent.\n        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011\n',
    '\nGeriatric Relativity: The observation that time goes faster the older you get.\n        ― Brian M. Clapper\n',
    "\nCritical thinking is the antidote to gullibility and credulity, which explains\nwhy politicians aren't fond of critical thinking.\n        ― Brian M. Clapper\n",
    "\nThere's a certain freedom in being so tired that you just can't possibly do\nanother thing.\n        ― Brian M. Clapper\n",
    '\nThe president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to\nbe in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his\nhairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the\naddition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.\n        ― Sam Harris, Letter to a Christian Nation\n',
    '\nMan is manifestly not the measure of all things. This universe is shot through\nwith mystery. The very fact of its being, and of our own, is a mystery\nabsolute, and the only miracle worthy of the name.\n        ― Sam Harris, "The End of Faith"\n',
    '\nWhat is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which\nshe represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence\nand ignorance . . . Ask yourself: how has "elitism" become a bad word in\nAmerican politics? There is simply no other walk of life in which extraordinary\ntalent and rigorous training are denigrated. We want elite pilots to fly our\nplanes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to\nrepresent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive\nyears of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to\nvest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun\nany and all standards of excellence. When it comes to choosing the people whose\nthoughts and actions will decide the fates of millions, then we suddenly want\nsomeone just like us, someone fit to have a beer with, someone down-to-earth—in\nfact, almost anyone, provided that he or she doesn\'t seem too intelligent or\nwell educated.\n        ― Sam Harris\n',
    '\nUnreason is now ascendant in the United States—in our schools, in our courts,\nand in each branch of the federal government.\n        ― Sam Harris, "The Politics of Ignorance" (2005)\n',
    '\nThe point at which we fully acquire our humanity, and our capacity to suffer,\nremains an open question, but anyone who would dogmatically insist that these\ntraits must arise coincident with the moment of conception has nothing to\ncontribute, apart from his ignorance, to this debate.\n        ― Sam Harris\n',
    '\nWater is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. This seems as value-free an\nutterance as human beings ever make. But what do we do when someone doubts the\ntruth of this proposition? Ok, all we can do is appeal to scientific values.\nThe value of understanding the world. The value of evidence. The value of\nlogical consistency. What if someone says, “Well, that’s not how I choose to\nthink about water. Ok, what can we say to such a person? Ok, all we can do is\nappeal to scientific values. And if he doesn’t share those values, the\nconversation is over. Ok, if someone doesn’t value evidence, what evidence are\nyou going to provide to prove that they should value it? If someone doesn’t\nvalue logic, what logical argument could you provide to show the importance of\nlogic?\n        ― Sam Harris, during a Notre Dame debate with William Lane Craig\n',
    '\nI love living in the future. ― Bill Cheswick\n',
    '\nSendmail(8) proved that if you polish a turd long enough, you may eventually\nend up with a shiny coprolite.\n        ― Bill Cheswick\n',
    '\nSalad is what food eats. ― Bill Cheswick\n',
    '\nAngels we have heard on High/Tell us to go out and Buy.\n        ― Tom Lehrer\n',
    '\nThe Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion.\nNot only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed\nand color, but also on ability.\n        ― Tom Lehrer\n',
    '\nIf, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something\nnasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been\nworth the while.\n        ― Tom Lehrer\n',
    "\nI'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out\nwhat sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise\nGeorge Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporize them.\n        ― Tom Lehrer (2003)\n",
    '\nI basically like "comments," though they can seem a little jarring: spit-\nflecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure\nof objectivity and dignity. It\'s as though when you order a sirloin steak, it\ncomes with a side of maggots.\n        ― Gene Weingarten, Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist\n',
    '\nI disagree with those who suggest that we permanently close down the U.S. mail\non the grounds that it can kill you. That is sheer hysteria. I think we should\npermanently close down the U.S. mail on the grounds that it has been making us\nsick for quite a while.\n        ― Gene Weingarten, Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist\n',
    '\nAnyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no\naccount be allowed to do the job.\n        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy"\n',
    '\nBypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B\nvery fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People\nliving at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder\nwhat\'s so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to\nget there and what\'s so great about point B that so many people from point A\nare so keen to get THERE. They often wish that people would just once and for\nall work out where the hell they wanted to be.\n        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy"\n',
    '\nFar out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western\nSpiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a\ndistance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant\nlittle blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly\nprimitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...\n        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy"\n',
    '\nMen were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha\nCentauri were REAL small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were\nbrave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the\nEmpire forged.\n        ― "The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy", Douglas Adams\n',
    '\nSpace is big. You just won\'t believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big\nit is. I mean, you may think it\'s a long way down the road to the chemist\'s,\nbut that\'s just peanuts to space.\n        ― "The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy"\n',
    '\nThe word "spine" is, of course, an anagram of "penis". This is true in almost\nfifty percent of the languages of the Galaxy, and many people have attempted to\nexplain why. Usually these explanations get bogged down in silly puns about\n"standing erect".\n        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy"\n',
    '\nThere is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the\nUniverse is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced\nby something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which\nstates that this has already happened.\n        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy"\n',
    '\nWith a rubber duck, one\'s never alone.\n        ― "The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy"\n',
    "\nInspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. \n        ― Madeleine L'Engle\n",
    "\nThat's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how\nobvious they've been all along. \n        ― Madeleine L'Engle\n",
    "\nWhen we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no\nlonger be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive\nis to be vulnerable.\n        ― Madeleine L'Engle\n",
    "\nBecause you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth,\nyou are.\n        ― Madeleine L'Engle\n",
    '\nA good photograph is knowing where to stand.\n        ― Ansel Adams\n',
    '\nA photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into.\n        ― Ansel Adams\n',
    '\nA true photograph need not be explained, nor can it be contained in words.\n        ― Ansel Adams\n',
    '\nDodging and burning are steps to take care of mistakes God made in\nestablishing tonal relationships.\n        ― Ansel Adams\n',
    '\nIn wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of\nexploration.\n        ― Ansel Adams\n',
    '\nThese people live again in print as intensely as when their images were\ncaptured on old dry plates of sixty years ago... I am walking in their alleys,\nstanding in their rooms and sheds and workshops, looking in and out of their\nwindows. Any they in turn seem to be aware of me.\n        ― Ansel Adams\n',
    "\nWhen I'm ready to make a photograph, I think I quite obviously see in my minds\neye something that is not literally there in the true meaning of the word. I'm\ninterested in something which is built up from within, rather than just\nextracted from without.\n        ― Ansel Adams\n",
    '', '\nWhen in doubt, tell the truth.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nA banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining\nand wants it back the minute it begins to rain.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nA classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody\nwants to read.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\n[He was] a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he\nwas waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nClothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    "\nDon't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you\nnothing. It was here first.\n        ― Mark Twain\n",
    '\nGod made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nI must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a\nweek sometimes to make it up.\n        ― Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"\n',
    "\nI was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I\ndidn't know.\n        ― Mark Twain\n",
    '\nIf you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite\nyou. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nIt is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits:\nfreedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nIt is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nIt usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nMan is the only animal that blushes ― or needs to.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nMy father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nThe human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nIt could probably be shown, by facts and figures, that there is no distinctly\nnative criminal class except Congress.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nThere is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nThere is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale\nreturns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nThey spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell\nbetter than they pronounce.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nUnder certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    "\nWagner's music is better than it sounds.\n        ― Mark Twain\n",
    '\nWhen I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not;\nbut my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any\nbut the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we\nall have to do it.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nWhenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you\nare going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of the Atlantic\nwith his verb in his mouth.\n        ― Mark Twain in "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur\'s Court"\n',
    '\nWhenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time\nto reform.\n        ― Mark Twain in "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur\'s Court"\n',
    '\nWhy is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is\nbecause we are not the person involved.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nHe is now rising from affluence to poverty.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nA person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nA man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nAgainst the assault of laughter nothing can stand.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nBut who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common\nhumanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nCivilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nDrag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any\nother way you can manage it.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nI can live for two months on a good compliment.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nIf the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes\nthere ten years later.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nMartyrdom covers a multitude of sins.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nPatriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is\nhollering about.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nProsperity is the best protector of principle.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nSuppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I \nrepeat myself.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nThe rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nThere are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and\npeople who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nTo be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no\ntrouble.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nTo succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    "\nTruth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that\nit ain't so.\n        ― Mark Twain\n",
    '\nWe have the best government that money can buy.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nWhen angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nWhen people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart\nno man much respects himself.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nWhen we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands\nexplained.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nWhenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and\nreflect.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\nWit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived\nto have any relation.\n        ― Mark Twain\n',
    '\n[Silvio Berlusconi] is so thoroughly corrupt, every time he smiles, an\nangel gets gonorrhea.\n        ― Dylan Moran\n',
    '\n[Adulthood] feels like ... walking around in a desert, with a bag over\nyour head, bumping into people who rob you as they bore you.\n        ― Dylan Moran\n',
    "\nTequila isn't even a drink. It's just a way of getting the police round,\nwithout using the phone.\n        ― Dylan Moran\n",
    "\nI basically think I'm what would've happened if James Dean had lived,\nand discovered carbohydrates and orthopedic shoes.\n        ― Dylan Moran\n",
    '\nWhen did ignorance become a point of view?\n        ― Dilbert (Scott Adams)\n',
    "\nThere's no kill switch on awesome.\n        ― Dilbert (Scott Adams)\n",
    '\nYou want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You\ndon\'t wanna know about it, believe me.\n        ― Walter to The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")\n',
    '\nHey, careful, man, there\'s a beverage here!\n        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")\n',
    '\n"The Dude abides." I don\'t know about you but I take comfort in that. It\'s good\nknowin\' he\'s out there. The Dude. Takin\' \'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I\nsure hope he makes the finals.\n        ― The Stranger ("The Big Lebowski")\n',
    '\nWe’ve bought into the idea that education is about training and\n"success", defined monetarily, rather than learning to think critically\nand to challenge. We should not forget that the true purpose of education\nis to make minds, not careers. A culture that does not grasp the vital\ninterplay between morality and power, which mistakes management techniques\nfor wisdom, which fails to understand that the measure of a civilization\nis its compassion, not its speed or ability to consume, condemns itself\nto death.\n        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the\n          Triumph of Spectacle"\n',
    '\nInverted totalitarianism, unlike classical totalitarianism, does not\nrevolve around a demagogue or charismatic leader. It finds expression in\nthe anonymity of the Corporate State. It purports to cherish democracy,\npatriotism, and the Constitution while manipulating internal levers.\n        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the\n          Triumph of Spectacle"\n',
    '\nWashington has become our Versailles. We are ruled, entertained,\nand informed by courtiers―and the media has evolved into a class of\ncourtiers. The Democrats, like the Republicans, are mostly courtiers. Our\npundits and experts, at least those with prominent public platforms,\nare courtiers. We are captivated by the hollow stagecraft of political\ntheater as we are ruthlessly stripped of power. It is smoke and mirrors,\ntricks and con games, and the purpose behind it is deception.\n        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the\n          Triumph of Spectacle"\n',
    '\nThe split in America, rather than simply economic, is between those who\nembrace reason, who function in the real world of cause and effect, and those\nwho, numbed by isolation and despair, now seek meaning in a mythical world\nof intuition, a world that is no longer reality-based, a world of magic.\n        ― Chris Hedges, American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War\n          On America \n',
    "\nHope has a cost. Hope is not comfortable or easy. Hope requires personal\nrisk. It is not about the right attitude. Hope is not about peace of\nmind. Hope is action. Hope is doing something. The more futile, the more\nuseless, the more irrelevant and incomprehensible an act of rebellion is,\nthe vaster and more potent hope becomes.  Hope never makes sense. Hope is\nweak, unorganized and absurd. Hope, which is always nonviolent, exposes in\nits powerlessness, the lies, fraud and coercion employed by the state. Hope\nknows that an injustice visited on our neighbor is an injustice visited on\nall of us. Hope posits that people are drawn to the good by the good. This\nis the secret of hope's power. Hope demands for others what we demand for\nourselves. Hope does not separate us from them. Hope sees in our enemy\nour own face.\n        ― Chris Hedges\n",
    '\nRacism towards Muslims is as evil as anti-Semitism, but try to express\nthis simple truth on a partisan Palestinian or Israeli website.\n        ― Chris Hedges, Death of the Liberal Class \n',
    '\nA society without the means to detect lies and theft soon squanders its\nliberty and freedom.\n        ― Chris Hedges\n',
    "\nReally, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the\none claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.\n        ― xkcd #1081 (mouseover text)\n",
    '\nA person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.\n(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)\n        ― Dave Barry\n',
    '\nMeetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations\nand other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot\nactually masturbate.\n        ― Dave Barry\n',
    '\nStyling mousse, which is gunk that looks like shaving cream ... was invented\nby a French hair professional whom, if you met him, you would want to punch\ndirectly in the mouth.\n        ― Dave Barry\n',
    '\nThere are two kinds of solar-heat systems: "passive" systems collect the\nsunlight that hits your home, and "active" systems collect the sunlight\nthat hits your neighbors\' homes, too.\n        ― Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"\n',
    "\nThere is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on\nAlzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large\nelderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no\nrecollection of what to do with them.\n        ― Dave Barry\n",
    '\nIt is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical\nneed for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as\nsome kind of recreational activity.\n        ― Dave Barry\n',
    '\nNo matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.\n        ― Dave Barry\n',
    "\nAlthough golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants,\ntoday it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.\n        ― Dave Barry\n",
    '\nPeople who want to share their religious views with you almost never want\nyou to share yours with them.\n        ― Dave Barry\n',
    '\nIt is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nImagination is more important than knowledge.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nIf A equals success, then the formula is:\n   A= X + Y + Z\nX is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nGreat spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The\nlatter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to\nhereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nThe tyranny of the ignoramuses is insurmountable and assured for all time.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    "\nWe can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we\ncreated them.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n",
    '\nMan usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else, unless it is an\nenemy.\n        ― A. Einstein\n',
    '\nMy religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior\nspirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive\nwith our frail and feeble mind.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nNever do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.\n        ― Albert Einstein, as quoted by Virgil Henshaw in\n           "Albert Einstein: Philosopher Scientist" (1949)\n',
    '\nThe further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it\nseems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the\nfear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving\nafter rational knowledge.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nThe hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nThe important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason\nfor existing.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nThe most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nThe only real valuable thing is intuition.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    "\nGod may be subtle, but He isn't plain mean.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n",
    '\nGod does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates\nempirically.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nDear Posterity, If you have not become more just, more peaceful, and generally\nmore rational than we are (or were) ― why then, the Devil take you.\n        ― Albert Einstein, message for a time capsule\n',
    '\nCommon sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nAs far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not\ncertain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nAnyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nAn autocratic system of coercion, in my opinion, soon degenerates. For\nforce always attracts men of low morality, and I believe it to be an\ninvariable rule that tyrants of genius are succeeded by scoundrels.\n        ― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It (1931)\n',
    '\n"If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith."\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\n"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but\nWorld War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nA man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nAll that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity\nfor development accorded the individual. \n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nAn empty stomach is not a good political adviser.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nAny intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a\ntouch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    "\nAs far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue. \n        ― Albert Einstein\n",
    '\nConcern for man and his fate must always form the chief interest of all\ntechnical endeavors. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and\nequations.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nDo not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine\nare still greater.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nEducation is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in\nschool.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nEverything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that\ncounts cannot necessarily be counted.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nGreat spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre\nminds.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nHe who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my\ncontempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the\nspinal cord would suffice.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    '\nI live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the\nyears of maturity.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n',
    "\nIf you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.\n        ― Albert Einstein\n",
    "\nPeople think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his\nears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    '\nI came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car keys...and\nthe building started up. So I took it out for a drive. A cop pulled me over\nfor speeding. He asked me where I live. I said, "Here."\n        ― Steven Wright\n',
    '\nI was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house\nand 4 people died.\n        ― Steven Wright\n',
    '\nMy brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo of\nthe entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".\n        ― Steven Wright\n',
    "\nYou can't have everything. Where would you put it?\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    "\nYou know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip\nover? Well, that's how I feel all the time.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    "\nI'm making wine at home, but I make it out of raisins, so it'll be aged\nautomatically.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    "\nBabies don't need a vacation, but I still see 'em at the beach. Pisses me off.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    "\nSponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean\nwould be, if that didn't happen.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    "\nIt doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    '\nI remember the day the candle shop burned down. Everyone just stood around\nand sang, "Happy birthday."\n        ― Steven Wright\n',
    '\nIf you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?\n        ― Steven Wright\n',
    "\nOnce I stayed in a hotel where the pool was on the 23rd floor. I couldn't\nbelieve how deep it was.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    "\nThere's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like\nan idiot.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    '\nWhat\'s another word for, "thesaurus?"\n        ― Steven Wright\n',
    "\nWhenever I think about the past, it's just bring back so many memories.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    '\nOnce I was walking through the woods, and I saw a rabbit standing in front\nof a candle, making shadows of people on a tree. I said, "Don\'t be so\nsarcastic."\n        ― Steven Wright\n',
    "\nI'm a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future, but just way off to\nthe side.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    "\nIt's hard for me to buy clothes, 'cause I'm not my size.\n        ― Steven Wright\n",
    '\nSmall keyboards make for big mistakes. \n        ― Joe Gunn\n',
    '\nThe last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world.\n        ― Leonard Cohen\n',
    '\nPoetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is\njust the ash.\n        ― Leonard Cohen\n',
    '\nChildren show scars like medals. Lovers use them as a secrets to reveal. A\nscar is what happens when the word is made flesh.\n        ― Leonard Cohen, The Favorite Game\n',
    "\nI don't consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who\nis waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.”\n        ― Leonard Cohen\n",
    '\nThe older I get, the surer I am that I’m not running the show.\n        ― Leonard Cohen\n',
    '\nDeprivation is the mother of poetry.\n        ― Leonard Cohen, The Favorite Game \n',
    '\nWe are so lightly here. It is in love that we are made. In love we disappear.\n        ― Leonard Cohen\n',
    "\nThere is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.\n        ― Leonard Cohen, Selected Poems, 1956-1968\n",
    '\nThis is a broken world, and we live with broken hearts and broken lives,\nbut still that is no alibi for anything. On the contrary, you have to stand\nup and say, "Hallelujah," under those circumstances.\n        ― Leonard Cohen\n',
    '\nA human is a system for converting dust billions of years ago into dust\nbillions of years from now via a roundabout process which involves checking\nemail a lot.\n\t— Randall Munroe (xkcd #1173)\n',
    "\nAmong the many invectives I invent when people piss me off, this is my\ncurrent favorite: 'Fuck yer own throat, you piss-dribbling monkey dick!'\nI'm hoping it catches on with you folks.\n\t— Jon Miller, a.k.a., Doc Spender\n",
    '\n"Well, vegans, as you know, don\'t have eggs, meat, dairy, or senses of humor."\n\t— Peter Sagal, on NPR\'s "Wait, Wait, Don\'t Tell Me" (21 Sep, 2013)\n',
    '\nAn ounce of perversion is worth a pound of pure.\n        ― Dr. Mark Crislip\n',
    '\nHoly water is often contaminated with bacteria and, as a result, I\nhypothesize that Pasteur went to Hell, since, if he\'d gone to heaven, all\nthe water would be clean."\n\t—Dr. Mark Crislip\n',
    '\nIt is ignoring the nuances of a complicated topic to grind your axe that\nannoys me.\n\t—Dr. Mark Crislip\n',
    '\nAnybody who thinks that homeopathy is appropriate therapy for anything but\nthirst is ... unfit to care for patients.\n\t—Dr. Mark Crislip\n',
    '\nThat woman speaks eight languages and can\'t say "no" in any of them.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n',
    "\nThere's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in\nit; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n",
    '\nIf you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second\ngreatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The\nElements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now,\nwhile they’re happy.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n',
    '\nI require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n',
    '\nThat would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she\nwent, including here, it was against her better judgment.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n',
    '\nThe cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n',
    '\nBeauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n',
    '\nThis is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with\ngreat force.\n        ― Dorothy Parker, on Ayn Rand\'s "Atlas Shrugged"\n',
    "\nIt's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n",
    "\nAll those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I\nwrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.\n        ― Dorothy Parker\n",
    '\nSometimes, a grand adventure begins when you lick the evil. —Joe Pizzirusso\n',
    "\nAngels are very good at math. That's why they call them arc-angels.\n        ― Steven Novella (The Skeptics Guide to the Universe)\n",
    '\n"Girls are complicated. The instruction manual that comes with girls is 800\npages, with chapters 14, 19, 26 and 32 missing, and it\'s badly translated,\nhard to figure out."\n\t— Huge Laurie, on raising a girl\n',
    '\nThere is no material safety data sheet for astatine. If there were, it would\njust be the word "NO" scrawled over and over in charred blood.\n\t— Randall Munroe, "What If?"\n',
    '\nTelling a child that everyone dies is the hardest thing about being a party\nclown.\n\t— James Ferace\n',
    '\nLast night, I told my kid that the night light only makes it easier for\nthe monsters to find her.\n\t— James Ferace\n'
]