formerly Hayley, aka Tuxiee
September 23, 1997 to October 15, 2020
It is with great sadness that GNUlag member Tuxiee passed away on Thursday the 15th of October 2020 after a life-long struggle with dysphoria and acceptance of her transgender identity. Tuxiee was an intelligent and creative young woman with a passion for electronics, computers and cars. She will be greatly missed by her family as well as her friends in Snoonet's #gnulag, #linuxmasterrace and ##transgender channels.
Below is a list of farewell notes left by users in the #gnulag, #linuxmasterrace and ##transgender channels.
[browndawg]: I choose to remember the good days, when she was in school. She'd talk about stuff she was working on, had plans for the future. I hope she finds now what she could not in life.
[janne]: I've known her for so long. I remember when she came to me, a loong time ago, and was shy but interested, it was the start of a long friendship. Through all the ups and downs her life had, she always would pick herself back up again. I hope she is finally free from all the pain, dysphoria and depression that tortured her all this time.
[xi]: You were always a kind and intelligent person, with a lot of curiosity and a very broad vision over everything. I've met you as a very fun and enthusiastic gentoo user, you were in love with your thinkpad, and as time passed, you became a very curious and talented electrical engineer, and you've shown how big your heart could be at every opportunity you had. I've seen you fall victim to your own bitter poison as you wandered for meaning and identity. I wish I could have sucked that poison out of you every time I saw it manifesting, as do many others. I hope that it left you at peace and that your spirit departed strong and free.
[catbottom]: Tuxiee went hard, Tuxiee was intense as hell and the world should be embarrassed that it let things get so shitty for people like her. She deserved a lot better, she was as much of an individual as an individual can be.
[flotwig]: I didn't know you that well, but I always imagined a dancing Tux when you were topchatting with us. You'll be missed.
[akk/skg]: I remember the days of you chatposting in #android talking about Android phones and just generally enjoying life. You helped me understand myself as a person and looked out for me. You took frequent breaks, but would always check in to see how I was doing. Thank you and I will always miss you. Hope you're going hard out there.
[Zowlyfon]: I've known you pretty much since I joined Snoonet, I remember your love of cars and mechanics, I can't believe you're gone.
[sham1]: This was certainly a shock to hear, but hopefully you can now rest in peace as you may.
[k33k]: i hope she is resting in the peace and love she deserved from life. she will be remembered and missed x
[R0flcopt3r]: I'll miss you, a lot...
[RadiantBastard]: Hayley, I'll remember you as a very kind and positive person. I'm sad that your problems got the best of you. May you rest in power.
[aboft]: I'll never forget how no matter what pain she was enduring she would also put others before her. I hope she is finally at peace and she will be sorely missed.
[whiteph]: I remember you from when I first joined irc. Both of us changed with the times a lot, but I'm glad we got to experience some of the journey at the same time. I'll miss you.
[tsahyt]: We haven't talked in a while, but I want to thank you for making life a little more interesting and a little more colorful. May you finally find what you were looking for.
[wnb]: you'd always get a laugh out of me whenever you were on the channel. I had been missing you for a couple of days now... I hope you're smiling wherever you are.
[Seirdy]: Didn't get to know our resident street racer as well as I'd have liked, but I always appreciated her presence. I wish I could have helped more when you talked about your struggles.
[RadioDemon]: Hayley, im so sorry that we couldn't get you the help you needed when you first joined us in ##transgender. i hope you know that we all cared about you and wanted the best for you. i think about you often, and im sure i will continue to for a very long time. You were a kind person who felt a lot. i will miss you, friend, i hope you rest well.
[pta2002]: I always was happy to see you were on. I'll miss you.
[Totori]: Hayley, you deserved better. I'm sorry you didn't get it. I hope you've felt you found peace. I will fondly remember talking about cars, computers, and life with you. You were a bright wonderful person. I'll miss you.
[belzurix]: Hope you will find your peace.
[iownall555]: Cheers for all of the good chats. RIP. x - Andrew
[A_Dragon]: When you and I met we we never really spoke until that first time you and I found something in common. We picked up quite a friendship from there, spoke almost every day for hours. We had our ups and downs, some disagreements, and drifted apart at times. But no matter what you were kind and friendly, and I'm going to miss knowing that people like you are in this world, you diserved better from those that hurt you.
[Duck]: Though I regret not getting to talk to her much myself, I can tell you that she brightened the lives of many chatters across Snoonet. People were happy to see her join in on chats and talk with them. She had lots in common with everyone and never seemed to turn down an opportunity to get involved. On behalf of Snoonet IRC, I offer my sincerest condolences to Tuxiee's family, as well as our members whom have been affected by this loss. May you rest in peace, Taylor.
[cheers]: I remember her talking to me about her stage one Gentoo install when I first joined Snoonet. Thought that was the coolest stuff ever. You'll be sorely missed.
[Camille]: For the short time that Taylor and I were friends, she was one of my best. I loved hearing about her cool racecars and her tinkering with Linux, and she loved hearing about my rants about stupid people I knew irl. When we weren't constantly texting, we were playing Minecraft or TF2. When she was doing well, she was such a happy person and so fun to be around. She will be sorely missed.
Resources for LGBTQI people and those suffering from suicidal thoughts:
- Trans Lifeline: https://translifeline.org/ +1 877 330 6366
- The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ +1 866 488 7386
- National Suicide Prevention Hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ +1 800 273 8255
- Kids Help Phone: https://kidshelpphone.ca/ +1 800 668 6868 sms: 686868
- Crisis Services Canada: https://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/ +1 833 456 4566 sms: 45645
- Hopeline UK: https://www.papyrus-uk.org/ +44 0800 068 41 41
- Mermaids UK: https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/ +44 0808 801 0400
- LGBT+ Switchboard: https://switchboard.lgbt/ +44 0300 330 0630
- Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/ +44 116 123
- Childline: https://www.childline.org.uk/ +44 0800 1111
- BeyondBlue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ +61 1300 22 4636
- Lifeline: https://www.lifeline.org.au/ +61 13 11 14 sns: 0477131114
- Kids Helpline: (up to 25yo): https://kidshelpline.com.au/ +61 1800 55 1800
- QLife: https://qlife.org.au/ +61 1800 18 4527
- Suicide Callback Service: https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ +61 1300 65 9467
- Hello LifeLine: https://hellolifeline.org/ +91 1800 121 3667