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ratherism.data
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DEFAULT
{Ratherism}
RATHERISM
{RatherismSaying}{\n} -- {RatherismName}, {RatherismShow}
RATHERISMTEMPLATE
{RatherismSaying}<BR> -- {RatherismName}, {RatherismShow}
RATHERISMNAME
Dan Blather
Dan Rather Biased
RATHERISMSHOW
SeeBS Evening News, November {#7-9}, 2000
Election Night Coverage, November {#7-8}, 2000
RATHERISMSAYING
{^RatherismRace} as {ratherismclose} as a too-small bathing suit on a too-long ride back from the beach.
{^RatherismRace} tick-tight.
{^RatherismRace} spandex tight.
{^RatherismRace} still hotter than a {[Houston|San Antonio|Laredo|Dallas} parking lot.
{^RatherismRace} crackling like a hickory fire here.
{^RatherismRace} as hot and squallid as a New York elevator in August.
{^RatherismRace} so wild, wacky and wooly, nobody knows how it's going to come out.
The heat from {RatherismRace} hot enough to peel house paint.
The fingernails of the advisors for the {[Bush|Gore} campaign must be starting to sweat.
Any way you slice it, any way you dress it, the latest {[poll results|exit-poll results|numbers|vote counts} from {USState} are good news for {[George Bush|Al Gore}.
It looks like {USState} is going to go for {RatherismCandidate}... but the way this night has been, wild and wooly as it's been, who can say?
{RatherismLead} has evaporated faster than an ice cream cone in the microwave
{RatherismLead} is now shakier than cafeteria Jell-O.
You can bet {RatherismCandidate} will be madder than a rained-on rooster {RatherismIf}
{CongressCritter} spent ${#40-100} million on his re-election campaign in {USState}... he spent money like he had shorted Microsoft, and won this race.
{RatherismCandidate} is sweeping through the {[South|Midwest|Great Plains} like a tornado through a trailer park.
Bush has swept through Dixie like a big wheel through a cotton field.
We've lived by the crystal ball and learned to eat so much broken glass tonight that we're in critical condition.
You can sooner expect a tall talking broccoli stick to offer to mow your lawn for free than to see {RatherismCandidate} win {USState}.
I'm so excited about this {[election|race} I have a 3,000-calorie attack about every half hour just thinking about it.
The polls have been veering and wobbling so much that neither NASA nor the Russian Cosmodrome can track them in some cases.
They didn't get those {[1992|1996} absentee votes counted in {USState} until the cows literally had gone to sleep and then came back the next day.
The results from {USState} have to be giving the {[Bush|Gore} {[people|folks} the knee-wobbles.
There's no way {RatherismCandidate} can win this thing without {USState}. It'd be like trying to scratch his ear with his elbow.
That will have the {[Gore people in Nashville|Bush people in Austin} jumping out of their seats like they were stabbed with hat pins.
We've been told that the situation in {[Florida|New Mexico|Oregon|Tennessee} has wobbled into Wierdsville.
Bush's eyes probably got as cold as your average pawnbroker's when Gore took back his concession.
{FirstNameMale} {LastName}, who has been around these things since Trigger was a colt, says he hasn't seen anythin like it.
We may see Michael Jackson's baby before we see some of the results in these races.
In terms of the Electoral College, if {[California|Texas|Florida|New York} isn't the whole enchilada, it certainly is a really big taco.
Now you may say to yourself, '{RatherismCandidate} is beginning to hear the first faint, faint whisper of the ax,' but it's too early to say that he's out of it.
Things are getting very, very close to the time when {RatherismCandidate} can celebrate, but close only counts with hand grenades and horse shoes.
This much tension you can't cut with a saw, it requires a blow torch: {#200-230} for Bush, {#160-230} for Gore.
Don't bet the trailer money on a {[Gore|Bush} victory just yet.
Nader is doing well in {[Oregon|Alaska|Montana|Wyoming|Massachusetts|California|Florida}... this has to be giving the Gore {[folks|people} the knee-wobbles.
Bush galloped out to an early lead with {#40-100} electoral votes... but now he's stopped to breathe his pony.
You can bet that they're smiling like a cat in a creamery down in {[Nashville|Austin} because they almost positively had to have {USState}.
Here's another look at the {[Florida vote count|electoral vote count|popular vote count}. Can't get a cigarette paper between them.
Well, we've said it many times, if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun. But {RatherismCandidate} doesn't have side pockets, so maybe he won't get {USState} and maybe he will.
Both sides, of course, have champagne on ice... But that champagne may get so cold and frozen up, you'd have to get a pickax to open it up, as {ratherismclose} as things are.
I think you're more likely see a hippopotamus come running through this room than you are to see {RatherismCandidate} win {USState}.
Better pull the cot up to the television set and don't get too comfy, don't count sheep, we may still be counting electoral votes for {[hours|days|weeks|months} before we can make the call for president."
Call the doctor, call the police, call a psychic. In {USState}, it's tightened up.
I have been to goat ropings and space shots and I've covered presidential elections since the 1950s, and I have never seen anything like this.
RATHERISMRACE
this race is
this thing is
this election is
the Electoral College vote is
the Presidential race is
the Florida {[vote is|results are}
the {[Iowa|Wisconsin|Oregon} vote is
the {USState} Senate race is
the {[New York|Missouri} Senate race is
RATHERISMLEAD
{RatherismCandidate}'s lead in {USState}
{RatherismCandidate}'s lead
{RatherismCandidate}'s advantage in {USState}
RATHERISMIF
if he loses his home state
if he loses {USState}
if he falls behind in {USState}
if he loses this election
if he wins the popular vote by loses the electoral vote
if he fails to pick up {USState}
RATHERISMCANDIDATE
{RatherismCandidateBush}
{RatherismCandidateGore}
RATHERISMCANDIDATEGORE
Gore
Al Gore
Vice President Gore
RATHERISMCANDIDATEBUSH
Bush
George Bush
George W. Bush
Governor Bush
RATHERISMCLOSE
close
tight